NTs who screwed around for their entire 20s can completely fix their lives in a matter of a few years

[pelecanus87]

I've seen this so many times. Some NTs just carelessly goof off for a decade or more. Then when they decide to start actually trying, damn near everything automatically goes right for them.

It's like NTs just have this implicit knowledge that there will be a place for them as soon as they start trying. Growing up, I watched people like this and wondered how they could possibly seem so at peace with their poor decision making and priorities. I imagined that if I were living the lifestyle they were, it would ruin me and I would never bounce back. Perhaps it was this same aforementioned sense that there will always be a place for them that allowed them to continue their poor lifestyle decisions worry-free.

Being on the spectrum really is hard mode.

 

[Gerontius]

I've seen this so many times. Some NTs just carelessly goof off for a decade or more. Then when they decide to start actually trying, damn near everything automatically goes right for them.

It's like NTs just have this implicit knowledge that there will be a place for them as soon as they start trying. Growing up, I watched people like this and wondered how they could possibly seem so at peace with their poor decision making and priorities. I imagined that if I were living the lifestyle they were, it would ruin me and I would never bounce back. Perhaps it was this same aforementioned sense that there will always be a place for them that allowed them to continue their poor lifestyle decisions worry-free.
Being on the spectrum really is hard mode.

Depends on the NT. Promise you there's a sector of NT's who don't get this luxury, and it's called the rich entitled young NT whose father and mother get tired of this stuff.

 

[Outdated]

I've seen this so many times. Some NTs just carelessly goof off for a decade or more. Then when they decide to start actually trying, damn near everything automatically goes right for them.

This is true for me too, and I'm ASD2.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

I've seen this so many times. Some NTs just carelessly goof off for a decade or more. Then when they decide to start actually trying, damn near everything automatically goes right for them.

It's like NTs just have this implicit knowledge that there will be a place for them as soon as they start trying. Growing up, I watched people like this and wondered how they could possibly seem so at peace with their poor decision making and priorities. I imagined that if I were living the lifestyle they were, it would ruin me and I would never bounce back. Perhaps it was this same aforementioned sense that there will always be a place for them that allowed them to continue their poor lifestyle decisions worry-free.

Being on the spectrum really is hard mode.

I think some will just have an easier time fitting in because they're among people who perceive the world more similarly, in a general sense. A lot of what works for us just isn't appealing to non-Autistic people. In fact, sometimes when we do well, it can seem to rub them the wrong way.

On the other hand, I often think of the bad things in my life and realize it could be much worse.

 

[pelecanus87]

This is true for me too, and I'm ASD2.

Just curious, what was your experience like?

 

[Outdated]

I’m one of those people that has just breezed through life. Everything I try always just works and most people are always really nice to me and go out of their way to help me.

I always thought that this was specifically due to my autism, that I have advantages that most people don’t.

As a teenager I spent a few years learning and practicing the way other people see me, if you have to mask you might as well make it a good mask.

Body language comes first. How I walk, how I stand, how I sit. How I lean in towards people when I shake their hand and introduce myself, how I look them in the eye. And all of this is done with a pleasant smile that also shows in my eyes. Simply practicing facial expressions is not enough, you need to use your whole body to portray emotions.

Voice modulation comes next, what you sound like when you greet people. I practiced and practiced this, my voice is trained. Always pleasant with a wide range of tone and expression.

General demeanour is also important. As far as anyone else knows I’m always happy. That’s something most people find attractive, I appear Happy, Relaxed, Confident. I always try to be helpful and never complain unless personal boundaries have been crossed. When things do go wrong I immediately look for a positive side to the issue and I can usually turn a disappointment in to an advantage.

I always did well in job interviews, I always managed to find somewhere to live, I always did alright in attracting women as well. It’s all about presentation.

 

[pelecanus87]

I’m one of those people that has just breezed through life. Everything I try always just works and most people are always really nice to me and go out of their way to help me.

I always thought that this was specifically due to my autism, that I have advantages that most people don’t.

As a teenager I spent a few years learning and practicing the way other people see me, if you have to mask you might as well make it a good mask.

Body language comes first. How I walk, how I stand, how I sit. How I lean in towards people when I shake their hand and introduce myself, how I look them in the eye. And all of this is done with a pleasant smile that also shows in my eyes. Simply practicing facial expressions is not enough, you need to use your whole body to portray emotions.

Voice modulation comes next, what you sound like when you greet people. I practiced and practiced this, my voice is trained. Always pleasant with a wide range of tone and expression.

General demeanour is also important. As far as anyone else knows I’m always happy. That’s something most people find attractive, I appear Happy, Relaxed, Confident. I always try to be helpful and never complain unless personal boundaries have been crossed. When things do go wrong I immediately look for a positive side to the issue and I can usually turn a disappointment in to an advantage.

I always did well in job interviews, I always managed to find somewhere to live, I always did alright in attracting women as well. It’s all about presentation.

Just curious, what initially lead you to suspect you have autism?

 

[Outdated]

Just curious, what initially lead you to suspect you have autism?

I was always a bit weird, but we didn't even know the word Autism when I was growing up. I started to think that maybe autism was what applied to me when I was in my late 20s, but then sometimes I also wondered if I was a sociopath because I have the same skill sets.

I didn't really understand anything about autism until I was in my late 40s. I heard a segment on the radio that grabbed my attention and so I wrote to the people the story was about. They accepted me as autistic and they included me in a 5 year study of autism in adults.

I didn't get a diagnosis until I was 55, and I was quite shocked when they told me I was ASD2. I said "I didn't think I was that bad." and they all just smirked at me.

 

[NB79]

I’m one of those people that has just breezed through life. Everything I try always just works and most people are always really nice to me and go out of their way to help me.

I always thought that this was specifically due to my autism, that I have advantages that most people don’t.

As a teenager I spent a few years learning and practicing the way other people see me, if you have to mask you might as well make it a good mask.

Body language comes first. How I walk, how I stand, how I sit. How I lean in towards people when I shake their hand and introduce myself, how I look them in the eye. And all of this is done with a pleasant smile that also shows in my eyes. Simply practicing facial expressions is not enough, you need to use your whole body to portray emotions.

Voice modulation comes next, what you sound like when you greet people. I practiced and practiced this, my voice is trained. Always pleasant with a wide range of tone and expression.

General demeanour is also important. As far as anyone else knows I’m always happy. That’s something most people find attractive, I appear Happy, Relaxed, Confident. I always try to be helpful and never complain unless personal boundaries have been crossed. When things do go wrong I immediately look for a positive side to the issue and I can usually turn a disappointment in to an advantage.

I always did well in job interviews, I always managed to find somewhere to live, I always did alright in attracting women as well. It’s all about presentation.

Hey, i'm glad that worked for you, but for me: my facial expressions: are not existent almost, if i try it seems fake, body language: non existent and when i do something with body language it seems is too exaggerated and people get a reaction, and voice tones: i have monotonous voice and i don't know hot to fix it There is something i can do in you opinion?

 

[Outdated]

Hey, i'm glad that worked for you, but for me: my facial expressions: are not existent almost, if i try it seems fake, body language: non existent and when i do something with body language it seems is too exaggerated and people get a reaction, and voice tones: i have monotonous voice and i don't know hot to fix it There is something i can do in you opinion?

I practiced and practiced, whenever I was by myself. It all felt really fake, it still does, but when I meet people I'm acting. Eventually it becomes habit and looks and feels more natural, but I still know I'm a fake when I'm talking to people. As long as they don't know then it's all good.

 

[Outdated]

I practiced and practiced, whenever I was by myself. It all felt really fake, it still does, but when I meet people I'm acting. Eventually it becomes habit and looks and feels more natural, but I still know I'm a fake when I'm talking to people. As long as they don't know then it's all good.

but then sometimes I also wondered if I was a sociopath because I have the same skill sets.

I just thought I should point out, it's the way I'm always acting that sometimes made me wonder if I was a sociopath.

 

[Progster]

I didn't get a diagnosis until I was 55, and I was quite shocked when they told me I was ASD2. I said "I didn't think I was that bad." and they all just smirked at me.

That reminds me of when I did my diagnostic assessment. Afterwards, I said to my mum that if I had Asperger's, then I must be a mild case. She replied, "There's nothing mild about you!" Then, when my diagnostic report came through, the diagnosis was "moderate Asperger's." So somewhere in the middle - I don't know whether that would translate to ASD2 or not - maybe.

Thing is, there are all sorts of things that apparently I do that are odd or abnormal or whatever you want to call it, which I was totally unaware of doing, and a lot of them have to do with presention: body language, tone of voice, posture etc. I was never even aware that I was doing them, so masking for me didn't bring success. I have a history of trying jobs, and then either getting 'let go' or quitting because of not being able to cope, not lasting more than about a year or even less for most of them.

 

[Crossbreed]

I don't know whether that would translate to ASD2 or not - maybe.

"Moderate" Aspergers would be firmly in the 1 severity.
Severity levels 2 & 3 align with Kanner's autism.

 

[Progster]

"Moderate" Aspergers would be firmly in the 1 severity.
Severity levels 2 & 3 align with Kanner's autism.

I don't think it works quite like that. One or two people here have been diagnosed as ASD2, but told that they would have been diagnosed with Asperger's had it been a few years ago. If Asperger's is by definition ASD1, then how were they diagnosed as ASD2?

In the past, the main thing that separated Asperger's from High functioning autism was speech delay. No speech delay meant a diagnosis of Asperger's. But that didn't mean that the person with Asperger's couldn't have difficulties such as comorbids that make functioning difficult - I have a family member who is probably on the spectrum who is a good example of this. Normal speech development, but both social and learning difficulties to the extent that he had to go to a special education school. This person still needs a lot of help as and adult. Surely a person today in a similar position would receive a diagnosis of ASD2 or 3? Surely your diagnosis is now determined by the amount of support a person needs, rather than a speech delay? I think that in my case, my diagnosis was correct according to the diagnostic criteria at the time, but now, because at the time I had more difficulties and needed more support, I might have been diagnosed ASD2.

 

[Crossbreed]

If Asperger's is by definition ASD1, then how were they diagnosed as ASD2?

They don't line up evenly, just generally. That is why the separate diagnoses [DSM-4] were abandoned in favor of a single spectrum [DSM-5]. (The dividing line would vary from therapist to therapist, especially for ASD1.x which could be rounded either way.)

Before DSM-4, we just had Asperger's cases compared to Kanner's cases.
The former were most similar to modern ASD1 and
the latter were most similar to modern ASD2 & 3.

 

[Outdated]

I have a history of trying jobs, and then either getting 'let go' or quitting because of not being able to cope, not lasting more than about a year or even less for most of them.

This was me too, but I worked in a trade where that behaviour was normal. Printers would often get stressed out and quit their jobs over the silliest of reasons so I was seen as fairly normal in that regard. There were a lot of people that I only worked for for two weeks.

Australia also has a very nicely worked out welfare system so being out of work here isn't really that much drama, we also have a different attitude towards welfare than many other countries and a lot of Aussies will "take a sabatical" at some stage in their lives, just kick back on the dole for a while whilst they get their head back in order.

This is so common that in Bali, a very common place for Aussies to visit, you can find these singlets on sale.
(our welfare department is called Centrelink)

 

[WildCat]

I'm sorry that you're feeling this way, but boy do I know some people for which this is not the case.

Without being specific about who, and not meant in a throw-them-under-the-bus sort of way, I know of one who got kicked out not too long ago after staying at a relative's apartment (yes, I'm related too). She's far from her 20s at this point, still hanging out with an abusive partner and has had a near-death experience thanks to drug addiction. Should she try to get back on her feet she certainly can, but it's not going to be easy. There's more I can say, but I'll stop for now.

I think, often times, there's more to the stories of people who give off the impression that it was easy, and then you get people who continue to somehow live comfortably, repeating the same poor decisions that keep causing them problems in their life.

 

[Prometheus]

This is very true.