Hi everyone,
I have a 4.5 year old who has development and speech delays.
There is a behavior he does where he keeps shaking things like toys, small objects Infront of his face and next to his ears.
We spoke to his therapist, according to him it's a stimming behavior.
But whenever he plays, that's how he does. He will just collect few items of interest and then repeatedly play or just shake them.
He does it so much that affects everything else, if we want him to read something or write or even try to engage him in other activities.
All he wants to do or play is like that.
My question is, if anybody is aware of what exactly is he trying to do and how can we help him.
Also, should we just leave him be and don't worry about it.
Will this go away.
Thank you.
-Vik
Playing with toys and interacting with the world "in strange ways" is very much a childhood autism "thing". Flip the toy truck upside-down and spin the wheels. Shaking the toys. Playing with water. Vocalizations in enclosed environments, and much, more.
Here's the thing, and others can chime in here to share their experiences. Many of us interact with our world in "different" ways, but ultimately, it is to understand our world on a level that most people never do. Because I was very much the same way, I have special, sometimes rather "odd" talents that I have been able to apply to my career as a respiratory therapist at one of the largest children's hospitals in the US and am a university instructor. A few of many examples:
1. Between 10th and 11th grade in high school, the summer in between, I took the college SAT and ACT tests. Tests that assess levels of aptitude and are often used for university acceptance. I had nearly perfect scores on the science portions of those tests, and I hadn't taken a science course since 8th grade middle school. I understood what was going to happen, even if I didn't understand the more mathematical or technical reasons. I played with things and understood the world around me.
2. In university physics courses, the same phenomenon. The lab experiments, I knew what was going to happen with a surprising amount of accuracy, before even looking at the mathematical proof.
3. I see patterns in water and air. I understand "fluidics" because I played around with it all the time as a child. I know how weather works, high pressure and low pressure, as well as the fluidic movements they create. I understand how blood moves through the heart, especially with complex congenital heart conditions, both pre and post operatively.
4. I have an exceptional understanding of mechanical ventilator waveform graphics, like I've never heard of or met my equal in this, quite literally. I use them to fine-tune the ventilator settings for my patients in the intensive care wards. I can visualize the molecules and their movements through the tubings and in the lungs, and can manipulate the flow and pressure characteristics.
5. I helped design a high-frequency jet ventilator unit that we use in our neonatal ICU, well, it's patented and is used globally today. I presented the underlying acoustical research in 2008 at an international medical conference in Salt Lake City, Utah.
6. I was part of the team that designed and used the first use of helium-oxygen gas during high-frequency oscillatory ventilation to save the lives of children with severe respiratory failure. That was in the late 1990's. We were the first in the world to do this. My study has been used in the bibliography sections of several hundred studies since then. Every day, quite literally, I am notified of its use on Academia.net.
I can go on and on here. Everything interests me. The world interests me. I have a high level of intellectual curiosity and will be researching all sorts of topics, and applying them. I will spend money on all sorts of things, for the simple enjoyment of experimentation. I am successful in life BECAUSE of my autism, not despite it.
So, my point here is to encourage him to explore his world in his own way, because, frankly, if you're interjecting and trying to show him "the correct way", you are unwittingly holding him back. He will get frustrated and act out against your efforts. He's not other kids, and this is a good thing. He may never develop those special skills and talents that will set him apart from the rest of the "neurotypical, ignorant drones" that loving, helpful parents and teachers create. Let him take stuff apart, listen to the wind, play with the water coming out of the spigot, stare at the clouds, build stuff, break stuff, make all sorts of mistakes and let him try again. The more hands on, the better. He doesn't need to sit in a classroom. He needs to be outside tinkering around with things. The more varied stimuli you introduce to him, the better. Your job is to be patient and just let him create, explore, and experiment.
I cannot emphasize enough the virtues of patience and temperance. Most parents have a tendency to get anxious and want to interject. Within reason, allow him to experience things, even if it means a brief, scary electrical shock or hot pot from the stove, not enough to really hurt him, but scare him so that he understands, as opposed to you frantically shouting "No!" beforehand. He needs to experience those life lessons. All things in moderation. Parenting any child is never easy, but my "Boomer" parents were pretty much "hands off", one might call it "skillful neglect". Now-a-days, "helicopter and bulldozer parents" are more the norm, but in the case of a child with an ASD, sometimes intentionally observing and simply being a "safety net" without interrupting a process is a better strategy. The unfortunate reality is that we have to learn OUR way, not yours, even if it takes us a bit longer.
