• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Obsession, but not completion because it's pointless?...

D

danonearth

New Member
Hi, this is a bit hard to explain... I have an obsession with guitar and learning to play it (for years) but then I also get a 'self-defeating' feeling of 'what's the point' as it will not be 'useful' - everything I do has to be 'useful'. So, despite the obsession, I never seem to be able to 'mentally' follow-through as there doesn't seem to be any 'logical' point to it (realistically, I am never going to be that good, or famous, or maybe even ever perform, so in a sense, it is technically "a big waste of time" expect for my being obsessed with it) - so, my question is:

Does anyone else feel that everything they do has to have a 'purpose' (even if it is only apparent to us) and they find it very hard to do something that is 'frivolous' or pointless?

Thanks!
 
That sounds like depression to me. A nebulous inability to enjoy the things you love. A nagging sense of hopelessness at times. You might consider seeking a diagnosis if you sense other symptoms of depression.

Give it some thought.

I have similar thoughts at times over my hobbies and creativity in general. Most definitely depression. Something I've battled all my adult life.
 
Last edited:
Thanks, Judge... I too, have battled with it all my life - thought I had it under control, but also knew that this thread post was also a 'symptom' of something else... Thanks for pointing it out to me so clearly :)
 
Thanks, Sportster... I'm both glad, and sad to hear that - it makes me feel like I am not alone, but sad to see you haven't tried playing golf - what's keeping you from getting out there at least just once to try it? :)
 
Sportster said:
Oh yeah, that fits me to a tee. My problem is I buy everything there is for the latest "obsession" and then ask the question, "For what purpose?" You'd be amazed, or even shocked at what I have squirreled away in my closets.

For instance, I developed an interest in golf. I bought everything for it, but then wondered "Why?" The clubs and everything sit in the corner of my weight room; and to this day I have yet to step foot on a golf course or driving range.
Click to expand...

Actually, if I may ask a personal question - do you think this has to do with depression? Or is it some other sort of 'symptom' of something else? Thanks!

ps. I just noticed your use of the word 'tee' - nice pun! ;)
 
danonearth said:
Hi, this is a bit hard to explain... I have an obsession with guitar and learning to play it (for years) but then I also get a 'self-defeating' feeling of 'what's the point' as it will not be 'useful' - everything I do has to be 'useful'. So, despite the obsession, I never seem to be able to 'mentally' follow-through as there doesn't seem to be any 'logical' point to it (realistically, I am never going to be that good, or famous, or maybe even ever perform, so in a sense, it is technically "a big waste of time" expect for my being obsessed with it) - so, my question is:

Does anyone else feel that everything they do has to have a 'purpose' (even if it is only apparent to us) and they find it very hard to do something that is 'frivolous' or pointless?

Thanks!
Click to expand...

I've got a personal example of something I obsess over but never complete. I play this online card game and I need to reach the highest rank, I totally obsess about being at the top and it's possible for many players...but the moment I lose 2 or more games in a row and go down in rank, I keep saying to myself "what's the point, I'm just gonna win games only to lose games and end up right where I started". I get on a complete "tilt" and end up playing worse, and that causes more losses and the urge to give up.

There are other aspects of life where I still obsess, but to the point of insanity. I finally made some friends and I'm extremely paranoid of losing them so I end up behaving very possessively (and that causes this cycle of paranoia to spin even faster). With these (and many many more) anxieties and the giving up at other times, I'm just not sure, I could very well be on the brink of depression. I'm only now starting to apply a method to battle anxieties and it worked on some of them - but it just doesn't seem to work on the two examples I've mentioned in this post.

Both of these examples have a purpose. The purpose is to reassure that I MYSELF have a purpose. I have no passions in life and hitting that high rank in the game would reassure me that I'm capable of becoming a champion at something. Keeping friends would reassure me that people other than my parents actually do care about me. I often just don't think that I have any sort of purpose, that I'm nothing but a nuisance to other people who do serve a purpose. I just need some sort of sign to tell me that I have a purpose.
 
I can kind of relate to this. I like collecting things related to my interests, but sometimes I hesitate to buy things like figurines and plushies, because they just sit on a shelf. Even though they're decoration, and even though they look nice, I get nagging feelings about them being useless.

Yet I do love the figurines and plushies I have.
 
Last edited:
I like a challenge. And I like it to be like a game to me to achieve the challenge. Even if I felt it was pointless like you feel with the guitar I would feel that there is a reason for the obsession even if it is just for self satisfaction. If you can enjoy the difficulty part like a game to win, you might find your purpose. The purpose could be the love of the guitar could be something you need for self. Weigh the two. Want vs difficulty. You'll find which one is stronger and personally I don't feel it is depression unless you find yourself having no interest and apathy in other areas of everyday life. I've been through plenty of depression and that affects everything. You can just feel it!
 
Thanks, everyone... Yes, I do think I need for there to be a 'challenge' or some end 'result' that I can ‘achieve’ (instead of years of just endless 'playing’…) maybe that will give me more ‘purpose’ and sense of satisfaction or achievement :) Thanks!
 
Sadly yes. Everything I do, every hobby I have, has a specific purpose which I regularly review. I've been practicing chilling out and doing things like reading books with no specific goal. Unfortunately that triggered in me an interest in story architecture and the heroes journey which I now analyse to death. Maybe one day I will do something frivolous!! :rolleyes:
 
Maybe you could just try to challenge your thinking a bit, like perhaps you could see it use as simple being something that provides you pleasure
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom