Can you run in the ocean?
What happens if you wade out further, how difficult it becomes to move, how difficult to keep your head above water.
What if you run in the sea and everyone else runs on the shore where they move without hinderence and what if you are running the same race, how can you be expected to keep up with them? Even if you are wading knee high, you are so prone to tripping up and falling over and becoming submerged, how do you recover? do you recover only to trip up over and over again.
But sometimes I feel close to the shore, and you, are on the beach but I can never reach the sand, and you cant walk in the water, and although I'll try and be like you even talk to you in some way I am no more one of you as an echo of your ways.
and to you I'm awkward, my movements are slow and deliberate my thoughts limited my logic simple and our eyes seldom meet because our minds dont connect and I'm nervous of you because you will see what I cant do before knowing where I am.
So its deeper into the water because I want to be away from you and you become a distant blur and I can be alone, no longer trying to keep up with you, and you will say I am distant that I'm lost to my obsessions and unreachable,
and as you say I have a 'disorder' say I am on the 'spectrum', you are unable to unravel the circular reasoning of my autistic mind,
because I live in a different place to you, I think in a different way and you are difficult to understand, you are neurotypical that is yours and your own left behind on the shore.
What happens if you wade out further, how difficult it becomes to move, how difficult to keep your head above water.
What if you run in the sea and everyone else runs on the shore where they move without hinderence and what if you are running the same race, how can you be expected to keep up with them? Even if you are wading knee high, you are so prone to tripping up and falling over and becoming submerged, how do you recover? do you recover only to trip up over and over again.
But sometimes I feel close to the shore, and you, are on the beach but I can never reach the sand, and you cant walk in the water, and although I'll try and be like you even talk to you in some way I am no more one of you as an echo of your ways.
and to you I'm awkward, my movements are slow and deliberate my thoughts limited my logic simple and our eyes seldom meet because our minds dont connect and I'm nervous of you because you will see what I cant do before knowing where I am.
So its deeper into the water because I want to be away from you and you become a distant blur and I can be alone, no longer trying to keep up with you, and you will say I am distant that I'm lost to my obsessions and unreachable,
and as you say I have a 'disorder' say I am on the 'spectrum', you are unable to unravel the circular reasoning of my autistic mind,
because I live in a different place to you, I think in a different way and you are difficult to understand, you are neurotypical that is yours and your own left behind on the shore.
. That's a very depressing poem, but I feel I can relate a bit 
