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Okay, Universe, you win, now just leave me alone!!!

UberScout

UberScout

Please Don't Be Mad At Me 02/09/1996
V.I.P Member
Each day is getting increasingly more and more difficult to cope with. And each day i have to find new ways to cope with watching my family fight and argue and scream at each other again and again.

It is sad, depressing and pure vomit-inducing that I have to physically leave my own house for the whole day each day because i automatically know what this day is going to be like: Maddog is going to aggravate the pure piss out of my mother, she's going to scream her head off at him, he's going to laugh at her because he thinks it's funny to watch her squirm....


I just
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!

Somebody....
Somebody please kill me. Please this is no way to live. This is no way for a human being to experience life. If i had kids of my own at this point in my life, they'd go through it with me and that's just another unfortunate soul who's getting undeserved misery.

Please somebody kill me.
 
Where do I send the death squads... where exactly in North Carolina , ? or was it South Carolina.
 
UberScout said:
Each day is getting increasingly more and more difficult to cope with. And each day i have to find new ways to cope with watching my family fight and argue and scream at each other again and again.

It is sad, depressing and pure vomit-inducing that I have to physically leave my own house for the whole day each day because i automatically know what this day is going to be like: Maddog is going to aggravate the pure piss out of my mother, she's going to scream her head off at him, he's going to laugh at her because he thinks it's funny to watch her squirm....


I just
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!

Somebody....
Somebody please kill me. Please this is no way to live. This is no way for a human being to experience life. If i had kids of my own at this point in my life, they'd go through it with me and that's just another unfortunate soul who's getting undeserved misery.

Please somebody kill me.
Click to expand...

Glad to hear you leave the house. Your mom must also suffer horribly. At one point it was so bad where l lived, I thought about getting a job as a helper to a older lady however that fell thru.

Just try to breathe deeply and stay focused. I met someone whose mother and father continously argued everyday of his life, it really messed up his outlook and gave him huge anxiety. It's so sad to see this adult who suffered so much with no happiness.
 
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Are you able to move out perhaps? Have you been in touch with local social services to explore potential options?
 
I understand how you feel. I see that Maddog is a pseudonym for your stepdad. I too grew up in a house where my mom and dad constantly yelled at each other and fought relentlessly. The only thing to do is go hide somewhere and come out after the dust settles. I found that my parents would exhaust themselves fighting with each other so there was less energy to give me a hard time or a beating when I came back after the fighting stopped. My rules of self preservation were to not engage in the fighting and to disappear until the fighting stopped.

Your profile says that you are 26 years old so you are old enough to start developing a plan to vacate the home and support yourself independently. Focus, develop a plan and work your plan to get out.
 
Gee Wyles said:
I understand how you feel. I see that Maddog is a pseudonym for your stepdad. I too grew up in a house where my mom and dad constantly yelled at each other and fought relentlessly. The only thing to do is go hide somewhere and come out after the dust settles. I found that my parents would exhaust themselves fighting with each other so there was less energy to give me a hard time or a beating when I came back after the fighting stopped. My rules of self preservation were to not engage in the fighting and to disappear until the fighting stopped.

Your profile says that you are 26 years old so you are old enough to start developing a plan to vacate the home and support yourself independently. Focus, develop a plan and work your plan to get out.
Click to expand...

I have an instant reaction to argumentative men who are pushy, etc. My step-father was a complete buttwipe who argued and intimidated my poor mom for as long as l could remember. She turned a blind eye to this.
 
@UberScout,...curious,...what is keeping you in that house with those toxic people? Do they truly hold that much power over you,...enough to make you have these thoughts of ending your life? What is stopping you from taking over your own life and moving out of that situation?
 
Neonatal RRT said:
@UberScout,...curious,...what is keeping you in that house with those toxic people? Do they truly hold that much power over you,...enough to make you have these thoughts of ending your life? What is stopping you from taking over your own life and moving out of that situation?
Click to expand...

Yes. There is something re: financial that was discussed in previous posts. I don't wish to distress UberScout by discussing it.
 
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I'm under SSI, but it won't cover my own place or utilities or groceries. I can't get a hotel room with it either. But I need my SSI because that's my only income.
 
Where I am, there are some subsidized housing where the monthly rental cost is scaled based on one's income, and is also capped, so it cannot exceed a certain percentage (e.g. 50%) of one's income.

Sometimes applications are restricted and require a referral from a social services agency, hence the earlier recommendation to try to get in touch with one in your area.

My understanding is that SSI is about $800 / month, and so if you're able to find housing that costs about $400 / month, the remaining $400 should be ample to cover utilities, food, and also a little bit of savings, provided you don't have any extraordinary expenses.
 
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