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On needing a collaborator

morrigan

morrigan

New Member
I have deep, lifelong interests. What I imagine might qualify as obsessions because they've defined the trajectory of my careers, and ruminating on them is a base state. I have hobbies, diversions, amusements... many of which are represented by drawers and shelves full of equipment, parts, tools, instruments. Stuff. Flotsam.

I also find that I do best when I have one collaborator. Not a team or a crew. Just one person with whom I can work/play continuously, un-self-consciously, and with mutually intense trust and focus on the pursuit in question.

Left to myself I tend to drift, and get hyper critical. I doubt, and slow down, and just cease even what I love. For years.

But give me just that one external reinforcement, and I light up again, and the interest becomes all-consuming.

I've gone through this enough that I no longer run the risk of becoming automatically and inappropriately attached to said collaborator. Which has always been the underlying problem with this pattern. But I still need that one Other to be Me, somehow.
 
I can understand that to a degree. While I don't doubt myself or stop pursuing my passion alone, I do tend to become overly attached to a good collaborator who shares my interest or passion and, who works with me on a long term basis, or plays with me on a long term basis. (depending on if the collaboration is work or play, or possibly both.)

I've also been on the receiving end of such feelings. Being someone else's idol from a distance is one thing, being that idol up close and personal is another, it can be draining and, it's impossible to live up to expectations full time. I do it to others now and again, I can't help it but, that doesn't make it any easier on anyone involved.
 
Thank you, Beverly.

Crossbreed, the principal obsession is electronic music, with which I have been involved to one degree or another for about 35 years. I also collect (and and don't play very well) a wide variety of acoustic instruments.

More generally, it's all about my desperate need to be the one thing I am not: an artist.

I have an extensive collection of very good pastels that I never use because I can't draw, let alone paint.

I have a selection of oil paints that I keep around only because they incite nostalgia. I've been around painters, and the odors in particular are intensely evocative for me.

And I remain convinced that if only I had a painting partner (I've had a few musical partners over the years), I might actually get somewhere.
 
Electronic music eh? Well then you should reach out to a few of my old friends.

First Mark Cottrell: http://www.markcottrell.co.uk/ and https://twitter.com/TScapegoat are his, though he isn't on Twitter often. He also has a SoundCloud. I will warn you, he lacks a verbal filter, he had fine manner but, will say (and sing) anything. he is a sweetheart, I love him.

Second Tradarrr http://tradarrr.com/ British Folk, yeah well and a few other crazy electronic things here and there. Also friends of Mark. Cool guys, easy going, accepting, slightly insane sorts. I love them too.

Finally The Wolfhounds https://thewolfhounds.bandcamp.com/ Dave is very cool, all of them are.

All of them are easy to talk to, open to meeting and working with unknowns and, love music, do some electronic and, just like to have fun with music. I know all UK, but it's where I got my start and, these lads have no problem working with someone via Skype, Twitter, email and/or phone.

I'd hit Mark up first, he's the most into electronic and, the maddest of the bunch, and he's friends with all of the others, has worked and played with them often. Mark is fun to collab with and, he sort of like the overly attached sort - he does it too. LOL.
 
Thank you again, Beverly, for these recommendations. I'll try to whip some courage up and get in touch with Mark.
 
Well that's easy, just listen to a few on his SoundCloud. Come on, any guy that can write and perform that stuff can't be too picky :) he really is a great guy, and he knows how to laugh at himself. He's somewhat famous, has a few albums out and stuff, but, he's really down to earth, just an average guy and, he doesn't see himself as any better or bigger than anyone else.

I've collabed with him and lets just say, we both managed to get over the attached at the hip thing, after a lot of fun but, still we have our fun when we get together. We're still pretty close, just decided it was more fun if we stopped idolizing each other. LOL. for the first couple of months it was a very humorous (in retrospect) case of double hero worship until we both realized what we were doing and, decided the other could just be human instead of a hero or music god. :)
 
morrigan Good luck with this process of discovery. It takes courage and then that fuels more creativity. Do you agree that as aspies we can run into confusing barriers to our creative work. It sounds like 2 obsessions have merged. Maybe taking a class in the kind of painting/art you'd like to accomplish would un-hook and free it from the need for a partner.
 
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