Online communication styles

[AgentPalpatine]

I was reading a discussion on another web forum, and the topic came up of how people interact with message boards and threads, and also how people's posting style corresponds to an offline communication style. I have to admit that my interest is more in how people's communication style is reflected in posting.

For example, I historically post opening posts with my thoughts, examples (if relevant), and then commentary (again, if relevant). Often my opening posts make my point, then ask for discussion.

I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts about how a particular posting style or offline communication style interacts with poster's online communication style.

Thoughts?

 

[Ste11aeres]

Well, I "talk" online and I don't talk offline. That pretty much sums up the main difference.

 

[Judge]

I'd say I'm considerably more polished online than in person. In real time/life I can't collect my thoughts so easily. Or correct spelling or syntax issues and I might even mispronounce or slur a word or two just out of being nervous if I've never met you before.

To be brutally frank, social anxiety tends to bring me down a few notches in person. The more familiar I am with someone, the less evident it becomes. I've struggled with this most of my life.

 

[Aspieistj]

I usually write and rewrite and reread numerous times before I post. I appreciate the opportunity writing affords me to make my point as clearly as I can. I am usually careful to frame what I say in a nonaggressive way--at least as much as I can as an Aspie. I am a terrible intellectual snob and always aim to make anything I write as correct as possible. I think being an Aspie has made appearing well educated very important to me, and not just to be a snob. All my life I was tormented for being different and poorly accomplished in many areas. The only way I was ever "good" at anything was doing well in school. Presenting myself as intelligent and well educated is no different than someone else being very careful about how they appear in public. I am fat and no matter how well made up and dressed I am, I can't be very attractive. About the only thing I ever excelled in was school and job performance and I am driven to write correctly and try to make my point as cogently as possible without offending. Unfortunately, being an Aspie sets me up to continue to make social errors and constantly feel uncomfortable when interacting in any way with people. I really need my cats and dog because they are so nonjudgmental.

 

[AgentPalpatine]

I find that I communicate better via the written word than in person. In a social setting or on the phone, my mouth can't keep up with my brain and I find myself stuttering until things catch up. Oddly, I can speak before a group as long as I don't have to answer questions. I'm more relaxed online and don't feel I have to watch everything I say or do since it takes place as I'm entering what I want to convey. When speaking in a social setting, I struggle to watch what I'm saying, modulating my voice, and wondering what my body language might be telling someone even though it's not an accurate gauge of what I'm thinking. Body language and Aspies would make for another interesting thread.

Would it be fair to say that online, you have much more control of the environment around your communication, as opposed to online, where you (presumably) would have less control over the environmental factors?

 

[Aspieistj]

Online and in writing, I get to say everything I want to without the frustration of being interrupted, or annoying anyone else if I interrupt. I often get stuck on a word as I plan to say it and it can take hours for me to recall that word. This doesn't happen in writing. I can always cover the subject when I write but there is no guarantee of that if I speak. Finally, if someone doesn't want to hear about my subject, they can simply stop reading. My facial expressions can't get me into trouble while online, and my expressions don't always reflect how I feel. I love to read because I don't have to parse words at a rapid speed. Finally, I cannot tolerate listening to people who use noises in place of words while speaking. English was my mother in law's second language and even though all her 12 years of public school education were conducted in English, she frequently used foolish sounds and noises in place of words.

 

[AgentPalpatine]

Hmmmmmm, does anyone adapt their online communication style to a particular forum or sub-forum? In my experience, some sites prefer short responses, while others "encourage" posts which answer as many challenges in advance as possible.

 

[Judge]

Hmmmmmm, does anyone adapt their online communication style to a particular forum or sub-forum? In my experience, some sites prefer short responses, while others "encourage" posts which answer as many challenges in advance as possible.

Yes. I've had to learn to curb my Aspie tendencies online in a completely different forum totally dominated by Neurotypicals. After so much ridicule I've learned to brief and simple. That said, lately I've given serious thought to dropping that forum altogether. They've never really been friendly towards me...

 

[rollerskate]

I'm more talkative and blunt online. Also longer winded most of the time (I'm more conscientious of my monologuing in real life but still slip up sometimes). The bluntness really tends to get me in trouble online. I'm not mean but I'm not afraid to disagree and debate and others tend to get way more emotional and offended over it than I do. So I just try to keep to myself as much as possible but it's difficult when a topic I care deeply about comes up.

 

[Kuribo]

Yes. I've had to learn to curb my Aspie tendencies online in a completely different forum totally dominated by Neurotypicals. After so much ridicule I've learned to brief and simple. That said, lately I've given serious thought to dropping that forum altogether. They've never really been friendly towards me...

I had a similar problem recently and ended up leaving a forum because of it. I like to offer long explanations and solutions to people's technical problems, but it felt like it was never appreciated. There was also a lot of indirect communication. For example, people would state a problem they had as part of an in-joke and seemed amused when I didn't catch onto this and tried to help them with suggestions.

My advice is not to change yourself to suit the "style" of a particular forum. If people feel happy to ridicule you for who you are, **** them.

 

[tlc]

Same here as with most. I do much better writing than speaking, whether it be online or not. Same goes for work, I hate phone calls, not only being put on the spot to try to multitask, but then expected to small talk with them, which I try to minimize. I'd much rather do an email, better for both me and for them because they'll get a more accurate answer. I guess only exception is I'd rather talk than do a bunch of texts. My ex wanted to argue via text when we were splitting up. I just said forget it.

 

[Judge]

I guess only exception is I'd rather talk than do a bunch of texts. My ex wanted to argue via text when we were splitting up. I just said forget it.

Ouch....can't say I blame ya.

 

[Autism]

Well, I "talk" online and I don't talk offline. That pretty much sums up the main difference.

Ditto, I talk online, not offline. What is expected of me I will never ever deliver, because it is only idiots that expect you to function according to their rules. I function according to my own rules, no ifs or buts and I am not concerned about my communication style at all. At times I notice I get really quirky, other times really serious, then there are many times I just throw my thoughts out there.

I also notice that many people can not handle that. Because too much of that contains the truth and that is a dirty word here in America.

 

[AgentPalpatine]

Ugh, I hate text. One of the guys I work with texts everything, especially when he doesn't want to use the radio so the boss can't hear what's going on. Besides the fact that my cheap $14 prepaid cell phone that I keep for emergencies is a pain when it comes to text, I can't seem to organize my thoughts using such a thing. I can't imagine trying to argue via that way. I'd be tempted to remove the battery from the phone.

In my personal opinion, Text contains the disadvantages of e-mail (low context communication), phone calls (rapid fire conversation without context), it's own abbreviated language, and all of this in 160 character at a time. It's not a good communication method outside of scheduling meetings or exchanging contact information.

 

[Arashi222]

I prefer writing than talking usually. I have more time to organize my thoughts and process information. I prefer to speak more online than offline unless I am at work but I stick to my script at work. Its easier for me to text if I need to but its usually short communication like we're gonna hang out. or what time are you doing whatever it was.