online date convo went bad

[paloftoon]

A guy was interested in me enough that we traded numbers. But today, he unmatched me which basically means he blocked me and without any warning. It was OkC that was used.

I'd never had the opportunity to meet him in-person. We talked relatively at length for about a week. He was also coming on with a cold since yesterday apparently.

There are a few things I could think of that maybe could've more than annoyed him.

1. I msg-ed him through OkC at night. He didn't have to respond, but he chose to. I did have his phone number, but I wouldn't text him through that late at night.

2. The conversation last night, I asked him which picture was the newest. When he responded. I told him that that was the one that I thought was the newest and I told him which picture was my newest.

It seems kinda petty and one could argue that the relationship probably wouldn't have worked if he's going to get so upset over something small. There is a value on making first impressions count too though.

I'm feeling sad cause this was a good match for a guy who was into me. Any condolences are welcome.

 

[Monachopia]

I'm sorry it didn't work out... It really sucks when it seems like there's a connection. All I can say is, that good people are few and far inbetween and sometimes it's good to get the petty ones out of the way to pave the road for the ones that are worth the time and effort.
Keep trying, any and all experiences are good in my opinion, even if they're not always successful. We learn something from each one!

 

[paloftoon]

He seemed like a good person too. I do believe he was based on our chats for about a week or so.

I think there are a lot of good people. But maybe, not a lot of good people or semi-good people that match up with us.

 

[Clueless in Canada]

I'm sorry this happened to you. You may never know exactly what it was that put him off but I think you just have to chalk it up to his not being as good a match as he seemed at first. He may be a good person to some extent but it seems he isn't particularly considerate. Perhaps try to think of it as a good thing you didn't have to waste any more time on him.

 

[the_tortoise]

Sorry it didn't work out for you, hopefully you will meet someone that is a better fit soon.

 

[BraidedPony]

I don’t knowhow it works but is it possible to accidentally Unmatch someone?
On this forum for example I’ve meant to hit Agree but hit Funny by mistake. There are people that use tiny devices...
I would call him and ask why he Unmatched you, not to argue his decision but to just verify it’s what he meant to do.
I think he was high on cold meds and goofed.

 

[paloftoon]

I don’t knowhow it works but is it possible to accidentally Unmatch someone?
On this forum for example I’ve meant to hit Agree but hit Funny by mistake. There are people that use tiny devices...
I would call him and ask why he Unmatched you, not to argue his decision but to just verify it’s what he meant to do.
I think he was high on cold meds and goofed.

Well if he unmatched me unintentionally, he had my phone number. I texted him afterward one time to ask him if I said anything wrong and he didn't answer me. I wasn't to the point of calling him- otherwise that would probably be a better option. So, I texted him instead.

 

[paloftoon]

I just remembered that the guy online I was in contact with prior told me I could ask for more pics.
After a week, I asked for more pics.
He didnt answer and just put more pics on his profile.
Then told me later on he was sick and then I think I said that I noticed he didn't say anything when he put pics up after I asked him.
In one way that seems it would be honest but in another way it just seems like a weird thing to notice that could be off-putting too.
I feel like this particular past-date keeps jarring at me because there is a lesson that I need to learn so that I don't make the same mistakes with other good quality possibilities.

Sure, it's good to be honest, but I don't want to seem like I'm being purposely testy and/or just weirdly disrespectful either.
Thoughts?

 

[BraidedPony]

Texting is good, actually better than a phone call, I forget about texts because I’m old.
Do you think it put him off because you asked for more pics? Who knows what turned him off but aren’t pics a big part of getting to know someone online or on a dating site?
Well, I don’t know what is wrong with this guy, but don’t assume you did anything wrong! People are weird and sometimes we can’t figure them out.
Good luck with your next match, don’t give up!

 

[paloftoon]

. . .
Do you think it put him off because you asked for more pics? Who knows what turned him off but aren’t pics a big part of getting to know someone online or on a dating site?
Well, I don’t know what is wrong with this guy, but don’t assume you did anything wrong! People are weird and sometimes we can’t figure them out.
Good luck with your next match, don’t give up!

No, it's definitely not me asking for more pics that turned him off.
I get the sense that me saying that I noticed that he didn't let me know he added more pics when he did and just left my question hanging is what probably turned him off.
I think I harped on what was possibly otherwise a non-issue, and he didn't want to be honest about it or deal with me. So, he just completely shunned me away instead. ;(

 

[BraidedPony]

Oh, I see. Even if you harped on something he could have said so, you know it takes two to communicate.
I think harping is an autism thing because I do that all the time. If something doesn’t make sense, isn’t fair, is untrue, etc. then I can go on about it longer than a NT person would.
You probably expected a message such as, Here are the pics you asked for! Something like that. Anyway, I would expect some kind of response like that.
Oh well, sorry he didn’t work out. Maybe he will snap out of his snit and contact you, if not, it’s his loss!

 

[paloftoon]

Yeah. It still sucks because people who react like that probably sense that something is off, but then they just assume it's bad when there are so many possibilities. What is also frustrating is that it seems bad because many people who may have tendencies like that are not quite where they should be with other things. In my case, I am managing on my own where I live with a full time job, a flexible part time job, and I do activities on my own, drive myself, and feed and "take care" (lol) of myself. I'm doing more than some other so-called NTs.

 

[BraidedPony]

I agree, so he will find a nice normal narcissist to date because he will know how to say just the right things....