Overactive mind - an aspie thing?

[DissolvedGirl]

Hello!

I've just recently realized that I'm probably a high-functioning aspie. At least, this would explain so many things in my life that didn't make sense until now.

I've always had a very overactive mind. Meaning, it just goes on all the time, it spreads in all directions but it also has its fair share of repetitive loops.

I can feel this inner agitation especially at night, when I try to sleep. I've been having sleep issues my entire life and eventually I just accepted the fact that I usually can't just fall asleep because I won't be able to turn off my mind and it will keep going.

The contents of the thoughts are very varied. From all sorts of anxieties (about the present, past but especially future) to songs or pieces of songs stuck inside my head, bits and pieces of conversations I recently had or things I recently went through, noises, unfinished words, all sorts of voices and incessant chatter, sometimes I don't even understand what's going on there.

There will be lots of repetitive thoughts, sometimes intrusive, I tend to ruminate and struggle to let go of things until I feel they're addressed in one way or another, they'll just remain stuck in my head. I also tend to overthink things and worry a lot, I'm actively working on censoring my negative thoughts so they won't take over, I developed all sorts of intuitive techniques before knowing I'm an aspie.

Then there's the creative parts. I will sometimes visualize entire funny skits, or unwillingly compose songs, or my brain will start to write something new. In my head. I almost never get the chance to copy the ideas so I just sit there, enjoying the ephemeral nature of it all.

At night, when I'm especially tired or stoned, I also get more psychedelic experiences of inner voices guiding me and telling me all sorts of revelations (that I usually forget until the next day) or feeling like I'm a broken radiohead catching other people's thoughts and different other frequencies.

I'm also very connected to the inner voice, which guides me often. I can also have amazing experiences connecting to plants or rocks, I speak to them out loud and I can sometimes feel their answers (please don't judge, I have a deep and special relationship with nature and I think plants and rocks have a conscience).

So is this an Aspie trait/symptom? Or is it just more intense for us? Honestly, it's a very exhausting experience, sometimes I feel like my mind is this giant beast on a leash and it always runs ahead of me and I'm getting dragged face up somewhere behind. It comes as a blessing and as a curse at the same time, but sometimes I wish I could just make.it.stop.thinking. Sometimes a small part of me just wants to die cause it doesn't feel it will be able to keep up with this my whole life, too tired already and I'm not even 30 years old yet.

If I wouldn't be making art and wouldn't be spending time in the woods and in peace and quiet I think I'd fall apart.

 

[booknut]

Wow, that description sounds eerily like my own reality. I'm trying to start drawing and writing, but my severe depression won't let me. I have trouble falling asleep at night; round and around my thoughts go.

 

[DissolvedGirl]

Wow, that description sounds eerily like my own reality. I'm trying to start drawing and writing, but my severe depression won't let me. I have trouble falling asleep at night; round and around my thoughts go.

I'm just really pushing myself from behing with the art thing, and trying to let go of expectations, not putting pressure on myself. Not drawing or writing for the sake of showing others, just doing it to let it all go. So I usually just draw free flaw, without any previous thought. It more or less goes the same with writing.

Just take it step by step and don't be too hard on yourself. I hope you'll feel better!

 

[booknut]

Thanks. I'm so new at this, talking to others who are in the same boat as me. I've been alone so long, this feels very strange.

 

[saturn123]

I think it could definitely be an Aspie thing but can also be other things as well like ADHD, anxiety or something. Many nights (more so in the past), my mind seems to be racing. It is usually if I have something in mind, especially if I had to go to bed with unfinished task or activity. Then I will continue to think about it, plan it, and try to finish the task in my head. Other times, I would worry about things, which keeps me up at night. I would play memories, past events, ideas in my head like a video clip. Similar to your experience, I have such a hard time letting things go (but got so much better).

 

[DissolvedGirl]

Thanks. I'm so new at this, talking to others who are in the same boat as me. I've been alone so long, this feels very strange.

I feel you, it's the same for me. Finally opening up about it to people who get it really helps.

 

[DissolvedGirl]

I think it could definitely be an Aspie thing but can also be other things as well like ADHD, anxiety or something. Many nights (more so in the past), my mind seems to be racing. It is usually if I have something in mind, especially if I had to go to bed with unfinished task or activity. Then I will continue to think about it, plan it, and try to finish the task in my head. Other times, I would worry about things, which keeps me up at night. I would play memories, past events, ideas in my head like a video clip. Similar to your experience, I have such a hard time letting things go (but got so much better).

True. It's hard to tell where one thing begins and the other ends. I've noticed that I can control these things to some degree, but the issue is still there to a certain degree. Sometimes it affects me, other times it's just the normal way of things and not that disturbing, like a movie constantly playing in the background.

 

[Streetwise]

Wow, that description sounds eerily like my own reality. I'm trying to start drawing and writing, but my severe depression won't let me. I have trouble falling asleep at night; round and around my thoughts go.

go outside !to a place you know you won't see anybody !!!!you need !!!to see the daylight !!!if !!you do that it Will stimulate you to sleep slightly easier! !if you can't go outside sit beside the window with the curtains or blinds open !where you know you won't see anybody! if you're in any level of darkness it will disrupt your circadian rhythm which is what controls sleep !
if you can look at flowers for some reason that helps me !!!or watch birds either recorded or outside ,don't watch birds that kill other birds!
do you have colouring pencils or pens and a black-and-white image you could colour that doesn't trigger you?!! doing this focuses your mind which will take pressure off you ?

 

[Lady Penelope]

I'm aspie and i over think everything! My mind never shuts off. I lay awake at night.. sometimes allll night.. going over stuff in my head.. going over imaginary conversations... reliving events.. changing the events to how they could have gone.. speeches.. alternate lives.. music.. lyrics.. words.. images... incessant and unfiltered and infinite.
When i finally do fall asleep my dreams are vivid and usually have premonitions or some eerie warning quality about them.
If my mind is extra alert and thoughts are especially incoherent it usually leads to a meltdown...

 

[DissolvedGirl]

I'm aspie and i over think everything! My mind never shuts off. I lay awake at night.. sometimes allll night.. going over stuff in my head.. going over imaginary conversations... reliving events.. changing the events to how they could have gone.. speeches.. alternate lives.. music.. lyrics.. words.. images... incessant and unfiltered and infinite.
When i finally do fall asleep my dreams are vivid and usually have premonitions or some eerie warning quality about them.
If my mind is extra alert and thoughts are especially incoherent it usually leads to a meltdown...

Aww yes! Infinite! I noticed that if something wakes me up during my sleep, or when I naturally wake up in the morning, my mind seems to be one step ahead of me and I'll basically hear it before I register anything else. I don't know how to explain, but the feeling is it just never stops being active, I just pick up from where I left it. And some other nights I'll be able to sleep but have the feeling that I didn't sleep at all, that sort of active mind almost-sleep that's so frustrating.

 

[Streetwise]

I'm aspie and i over think everything! My mind never shuts off. I lay awake at night.. sometimes allll night.. going over stuff in my head.. going over imaginary conversations... reliving events.. changing the events to how they could have gone.. speeches.. alternate lives.. music.. lyrics.. words.. images... incessant and unfiltered and infinite.
When i finally do fall asleep my dreams are vivid and usually have premonitions or some eerie warning quality about them.
If my mind is extra alert and thoughts are especially incoherent it usually leads to a meltdown...

my body has decided seeing the image of a kangaroo lying on its back with its eyes closed will help me go to sleep, don't know why ,I love to know why but that's what I've been doing .

 

[Adora]

Wow, that description sounds eerily like my own reality. I'm trying to start drawing and writing, but my severe depression won't let me. I have trouble falling asleep at night; round and around my thoughts go.

i can relate to this too,I’m going through a depressed stage at the moment where I got these ideas to draw but I just can’t motivate myself to draw it on paper,but I am massive night owl and if I’m not thinking of my worries I’m also thinking about ideas for drawings and even considered writing a story but I just can’t get it on paper

 

[Streetwise]

for an even better laugh

Aww yes! Infinite! I noticed that if something wakes me up during my sleep, or when I naturally wake up in the morning, my mind seems to be one step ahead of me and I'll basically hear it before I register anything else. I don't know how to explain, but the feeling is it just never stops being active, I just pick up from where I left it. And some other nights I'll be able to sleep but have the feeling that I didn't sleep at all, that sort of active mind almost-sleep that's so frustrating.

 

[Streetwise]

Aww yes! Infinite! I noticed that if something wakes me up during my sleep, or when I naturally wake up in the morning, my mind seems to be one step ahead of me and I'll basically hear it before I register anything else. I don't know how to explain, but the feeling is it just never stops being active, I just pick up from where I left it. And some other nights I'll be able to sleep but have the feeling that I didn't sleep at all, that sort of active mind almost-sleep that's so frustrating.

make sure at night you make the room dark as you possibly can as it's very bright in the northern hemisphere and I know even in the southern hemisphere it's still bright even in winter
also keep the room cool not cold! cool that will keep your brain at a healthy temperature !which will help with sleep !and keep hydrated !pure orange juice is the best it has potassium salt !

 

[unreality]

The experiences you mentioned sound very similar to mine including all of the voices. I like to compliment the nature people, like saying to a butterfly, "You're very beautiful" and they'll usually say "Thank you!" I love thinking and trying to find the truth or at least making sense of things. Sure, it can bring me some pain. You know what they say. Ignorance is bliss. That may be true, but there's also another saying. What goes up must come down. Bliss followed by a downer is no fun.

 

[unreality]

BTW I used to have sleep problems as well, but if I exhaust myself in some way then I'll fall asleep like a baby. Even a good physical workout works, but you have to really exhaust yourself.

Maybe you should write down your thoughts so you don't forget them because they might be very helpful in the future. I write down the voices/messages I hear as well. Some of things I've heard just baffle me they're so amazing lol.

 

[Progster]

Yes, I often overthink things or worry too much, especially about social situations. I find it hard to make decisions, I need to look at all possibilities in minute detail and from every different angle. It's exhausting.

 

[DissolvedGirl]

Yes, I often overthink things or worry too much, especially about social situations. I find it hard to make decisions, I need to look at all possibilities in minute detail and from every different angle. It's exhausting.

Ah, decisions!! I feel you!
I'm also a libra, a friend of mine who's also an aspie and very talented with these things made me an astrogram and I have a strong libra presence, so I used to brush off my indecision as being a personality trait influenced by my sign. But it gets really paralyzing when it comes to certain things, like getting dressed for a social outing, it's one of the hardest parts, even if I know my wardrobe by heart.
Also, if I enter a supermarket without knowing for sure what I want, I'll sometimes just get stuck in front of a certain aisle, checking the product labels, pondering, picking something and then putting it back, all the while trying to deal with the overload vibes these stores always give me.

 

[DissolvedGirl]

BTW I used to have sleep problems as well, but if I exhaust myself in some way then I'll fall asleep like a baby. Even a good physical workout works, but you have to really exhaust yourself.

Maybe you should write down your thoughts so you don't forget them because they might be very helpful in the future. I write down the voices/messages I hear as well. Some of things I've heard just baffle me they're so amazing lol.

Yeaah, it's like we get access to the Universal Knowledge Vault or something ) Some really magical stuff happens deep in the night.

It really depends on a lot of things. Sometimes physical exhaustion works, other times I'm just too overstimulated to sleep. I usually get sleepy at 9-10 pm, even earlier, but it's always so hard to bring myself to sleep and by the time I do it the feeling of sleepy is gone.
I've been saying for years"tomorrow I'll go to sleep earlier!" and I never seem to do it )

 

[Gekko2508]

Hi DissolvedGirl! Welcome! I suffer from an overactive mind, too, having PDD-NOS, so I can relate to what you're dealing with. Falling asleep is an insanely difficult task, especially when you start thinking about the action itself... What I try to do, is instead start focusing on something very non-abstract, that is not part of my worries. For example; how does the armour of a horse-back knight overlap from below? I start thinking of the little bits and leather, and try to focus as hard as I can on that.
I have found that focusing on a topic that isn't relevant to my worries, my situation, sleep, the universe, etc. makes it easier for my brain to go into a mode that makes the falling asleep part not scary enough to worry about.
Oh... I also make sure to not think of something exciting that I am going to do sometime in the future.
... Yeah. Tough. What kinda art do you do? I'm curious, because I have always drawn as a way to cope with the images in my head. Wanted or no.