Partner to new Aspie

[angie78]

Hi I'm 38 and my partner has just been diagnosed. All the medical websites out there are doom and gloom about an NT/AS relationship but I found aspie central and am looking for some positivity I guess.

 

[Aleksandar]

Hi Angie,
there is not too much to say about it.
As long you love your partners, it will be good, if you ever decided to split up, just try to not hurt him, especialy avoid to do it suddenly.
I wish good luck to you both.

 

[angie78]

That's the thing, I have no intention of leaving and can't see my life without him. We got through 3 years together without diagnosis and although the last year hasn't been great we got there. I see it can only improve with diagnosis and support but everything says there'll be no love or affection and he'll be hurtful. Life will be very hard. I know it's a long road but no where tells me the good stuff.

 

[zurb]

Welcome to AC.
From what you've said, I guess you haven't read the discovery of aspie criteria yet.
It doesn't have to be doom and gloom - though those people tend to be more vocal! A lot of it is related to the attitude and expectations of both parties.

 

[Häxan]

Hello and welcome! I am a late diagnosed female autistic (F84.0 not an aspie) married 10 years to an neuro-typical. If you have any questions that I may help you with let me know.

 

[Elemental]

Nice to meet you angie78 Hope you enjoy your time checking in here

 

[clg114]

Hi Angie. Welcome to AC. I am a Aspie and I am married to a wonderful NT lady. We have 5 kids, 11 grandkids and 2 great-grandkids. We like to believe that we have been together for so long because we not only love each other, we also need each other. A NT/AS relationship requires work, just like any other relationship. But it can work, so hang in there. Good luck!

 

[Tom]

Hi & Welcome

I'm AS and my wife is NT. We' re married 30 years. Some things that come to mind that helped us: Communication, honesty, suppress the ego, forget past slights, caring like you did in the beginning, start fresh with this new knowledge, learn to differentiate between typical and Aspie driven motivations/thoughts. (This is for both btw)

Some things are more difficult with a AS/NT couple, but others I think better then NT/NT pairing. If it works its kinda special... greater then the sum of its parts. Like a particulary sensitive and understanding human being with an Alien. You'll be on everyone's invite list.

 

[angie78]

Thanks everyone, wow you guys have long and great relationships and that gives me hope. Thanks also for the advice Tom xx