Sensitive Topic Paying for children's college

[Slithytoves]

Somebody might want to label this thread as SENSITIVE. I hope everyone can discuss this topic in a civil fashion, as some members may make comments that accidentally offend others.

A friend of mine just got a college degree, in her 40s. Her several cousins around the same age have all had their degrees for years, their higher education funded by their parents, and they are far ahead of her in terms of things like home ownership, career progress, income level and other important socio-economic factors. It will be years before her degree truly gets her ahead because of the amount of student debt she had to incur to finish school. She's a very hard worker but I've been watching her struggle financially for as long as I can remember. It's really taken a toll on her.

A conversation happened to come up between her and her father recently, in which he was praising one of her cousins for the success he has made of himself. The implication was that my friend was somehow less admirable for having taken so long to progress in life. She mentioned to him that the cousin had the advantage of having his education funded by his parents, and the chat quickly degraded into a fight about whether that mattered. I have to say, I think it does.

For those of you who have gone to college (graduated or not): Did your parents at least help you pay for it?

For those of you who haven't: Do you think you would have been able to earn a degree if your parents had helped you fund higher education?

For all: In general, do you think parents should pay for their kids' college when possible?

My friend isn't on the spectrum, but this topic may be particularly poignant for spectrum people because many of us would likely have a hard time working our own way through school. I know I couldn't do it.

Again, please be respectful to others' stories and opinions. Please also note that this isn't intended as a thread in which people tell each other what they should/could do differently or that they're making excuses.

 

[Judge]

Tough question to answer in a practical sense given how much the economics of higher education have evolved over the years.

My parents did pay for most of my education, for which I've always been eternally grateful. However had I been born well after the postwar baby boom I'm not so sure they could have afforded it even if they wanted to. Which if the case, IMO it would be a moot point to argue that it's their fundamental responsibility in the first place.

All I can really say is that it's utterly ghastly how much more expensive higher education has become. Luckily sound vocational alternatives continue to exist which are likely to be more viable financially to more people no matter who finances it.

While my first career (underwriter) required a four-year college degree, my second career (web designer) involved 11 months of vocational training I paid for in cash that ultimately landed me a job paying about 33% more per year than did my previous job.

 

[DogwoodTree]

Crazy long post...sorry

I had a full ride on scholarships to a state school for my bachelor's, then worked my way through grad school, paying cash as I went along (DH and I both worked full time and went to school part-time for grad school). If I hadn't, I'm not sure how much my parents would have agreed to pay for, since I had several younger siblings at home. I don't even know if I would have wanted them to help me, since what I really needed was freedom from their abusive manipulation and control. But I suspect there would have been some help, just not the whole thing.

Two of my younger sisters did have college paid for by our parents...the family's financial situation was somewhat different by that point, so my mom actually paid for both of those sisters to attend private universities. I'm glad that worked out for them, and there have been other financial benefits to me since I didn't need help for school (like when buying a house).

Now we're starting to think about what we'll need to do to help our own kids through college. We have several friends facing the same decisions already, so it's been a point to consider even though our oldest is not yet 13. At this point, our goal is to help as much as we're able, since we've had friends struggle with college debt for a very long time and don't want our kids saddled with that. At the same time, we're setting the expectations with our kids that the harder they work now to make themselves "marketable" for scholarships and grants, the more choices they'll have when considering colleges and major programs and degrees. I wouldn't project our priorities directly to other people's families, though--everyone has different circumstances and priorities, so it doesn't necessarily come out the same way for them.

I think it was pretty callous of your friend's dad to act like financial support for her education wouldn't have made a difference. At the same time, I'm not sure I would assume that any child is necessarily entitled to help from their parents once they reach 18. There are so many factors that play into the decision of what kind and how much help to provide a grown child. Not saying that your friend felt entitled--I think she made a fair point about the comparison her dad was making between her and her cousin.

I just think it's important for kids to realize as they're growing up that the way their lives progress is more about their own decisions for themselves than it is about what their parents "owe" them once they reach adulthood. I still say that even with a traumatic childhood background where my parents failed miserably in a lot of ways and created a great deal of residual baggage that I've had to face with my own resources...and I've tried to maintain that attitude even as my mom has become more successful financially and been able to be generous with me--I truly appreciate her help, but I never really felt like she "owed" me any of it.

As for how all this relates to AS for me...I grew up before this kind of dx was available, and I'm very high-functioning when it comes to things like schoolwork. With having such a chaotic home life, school was a refuge for me, and I found sanctuary in my schoolwork even from the pressures of not fitting in socially. But I realize not everyone can do that. There aren't easy answers to so many situations.

I've taught at the technical college level, and there are people facing some very serious challenges just to show up to class each day, much less pay for it all along the way. But it can be done. I wasn't usually involved in the financial side of getting people's college paid for, but I saw the kinds of challenging backgrounds people came from and still managed to make it through and get their degrees. University (4-year schools) might be beyond many people's reach, but technical colleges and community colleges (2-year certificates and degrees) are set up to be accessible to almost anyone willing to wade through the process. Just about the only thing that will result in failure, other than lack of commitment to the process, is an unworkably low IQ, and even then people are usually guided towards programs that they can work with. And once a student gets their 2-year degree, they have some momentum that can be used to get them through a 4-year program at a higher-level school if they choose to. There's still all the debt to deal with...but also the possibility for a much more satisfying career that eventually does pay off.

 

[HappyHermit]

I like your post, Slithytoves.

In direct answer to your question, and without having read the other replies yet: yes, I think parents should pay for their children's college, as long as college has to be paid for independently. Post-secondary education has long been necessary for even a chance of a half-acceptable life in many parts of the world, and in others it is becoming so. But, I would prefer if a wide range of post-secondary options were on offer, not just academic ones.

Ideally, I would like all education for all people to be funded through taxes. That makes taxes higher, but it also increases one's options in life enormously. And, free at point-of-use doesn't have to mean open access: schools could (and do, where e.g. 'free' higher education exists) apply selection criteria. But that's off-topic. And as long as 'free' college isn't a thing and people know it or can see it coming at the time they have children, they should be prepared to pay for college.

Compared to many other places in the world, uni fees were very low where I attended. My parents didn't support me (they used me to support them and continued to make me do their housework, secretarial work and care for a grandparent), even though they had the money and legally would have had to - but I would have had to sue, which I wouldn't have done even if they hadn't emotionally blackmailed me at the time.

I wasn't eligible for student loans (means-tested based on parents' income). So I worked to live and go to school, which wasn't pretty as a fall-back option because there was no job security, no paid time off, little control over schedules (= frequent changes of job under pressure when school got 'in the way' of work schedules, and unemployment was sky-high), I was on a demanding degree course and my parents were chasing me to be their slave. My main expenses were: rent and bills for a room that was smaller than prison cells legally have to be in this country (living with my parents would have killed me, and I'm not being dramatic: it would have driven me to suicide), food and toiletries and occasionally clothes (relatively easy to figures out how to save there), relatively low uni fees (< €1,000/semester) and uni supplies (books & materials, which was quite a bit for my course compared to others, also ~ €1,000/semester). That, on a schedule that would have been tight even without having my parents' demands in the mix, with the average hourly rate for the jobs that students could get at a whopping €7/hour before taxes.

Looking back, I have no idea how I made it through - probably on pure adrenaline. No one should have everything handed to them on a silver platter, but I don't believe that even half of what I went through - which is going to colour my opinion on the matter whether we like it or not - is necessary to become a self-sufficient person. On the contrary, I'm quite certain it impeded my personal and, as a consequence, professional development for a long time. Stress of that calibre tends to outlast the actual experience by years.

I don't have children and I won't have children, but I cannot - simply cannot - imagine making a person I supposedly love go through half of what I went through in order to get a degree and, with it, even only half a chance at a semi-decent life, or to accept that their life is probably going to be a hell of a lot harder than it has to be because I didn't want to plan and pay for their schooling.

Bottom line: as long as post-secondary education isn't (completely) tax-funded, parents should prepare to pay the fees for their children. It's reasonable to expect the children (well, adult children) to get a small job to pay for a few books / materials / course-related trips or incidentals, but not to finance the bulk of their lives plus school fees while at uni/in further education for their first post-secondary qualification. (And paying for it shouldn't mean the parents get a say in what subject their children choose.)

ETA: scholarships aren't much of a thing here. They're aren't and weren't a realistic solution.

 

[Spiller]

Personally, I think education should be, if not free, then means-supported. I dislike the idea that it's so much harder for poorer people to get on in life - I'm not saying it's impossible to, but it's certainly harder.. I can't help seeing this as a form of discrimination.
The qualifications I gained at school and college were all state funded - my parents paid for a few higher-level qualifications for my sister and I while we were at school, but they were not at all well off and that was the only assistance they were ever able to afford.
I wanted to go to Uni for degrees in engineering, but practicalities took precedence and I had to go to work.. I've since still wanted to obtain a degree but, again, time and money are always the primary limiting factors.
I'm fortunate that I've managed to do well for myself based on my skill-set, but I do sometimes wonder what my choices could have been, given the advantages of money and support to fund my further education..

 

[tachyon]

My approach with my sons was that after high school they had to contribute something themselves if they wanted to go to university. They knew that there was always a free room for them and all the food they needed provided (and the occasional beer), but they had to pay the fees. I'm pleased to say that both of them did that and I think they learned that there comes a time when you have to start contributing to your own future & not rely on your parents totally.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I never wanted to go to college. Then I made the mistake of going to ITT Tech where it was mandatory that my parents had to sign a loan. We didn't have a choice in it. Scholarships were not available to me because nobody likes the homeschooled kids. The other two colleges I tried going to I was able to get a Pell grant and it covered everything. I wouldn't mind the cost of the education if it was actually worth the money and you only took the classes that were relevant to your career or interest. Because a class where all you talk about is what inflammatory stance you prefer on abortion, immigration, and other taboo topics is not going to help you get a job. Picking fights generally isn't a good way to get ahead or attract customers unless you are a boxer or something. Art history is interesting, but it doesn't help me balance another person's checkbook. There were only two account classes out of 15+ classes in the accounting degree I went for, and neither of them really taught me how anything about bookkeeping aside from a few bits of terminology. Also, if college doesn't approve of parents or children, then they shouldn't accept applications from parents. Elsewise, don't fail me because children aren't allowed on campus and I don't have anybody to watch the kid. Can't exactly leave an infant in the car, you know.

And now I like college even less than I did before. I'd rather just order from a place like Textbooks.com and study what I need.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Oh, man. This thread is so relevant to me right now. I am 30. I've been attending s community college that only gives associate degrees. I've been accepted for transfer into a university. It is the university of my dreams, and one of the best in the world for the specific specialty that I love most within the major of my dreams. And I might not be able to go. They've offered me s financial aid package that-including student loans-covers all tuition and fees, but doesn't leave me quite enough to live off of. I don't have those few thousand dollars to cover the gap. I work full time, but at s low income job that doesn't give me enough to save. My parents could easily provide those missing dollars that I need in order to attend this university. But I'm pretty sure they won't. My grandparents always offered to fund my (then future) education. But now it seems they won't.

 

[On the Inside]

I used to get riled up about this, but I've accepted and moved on. I had to not only work and save for my post secondary while I was in high school, (I don't know why I had such foresight) but also had to work while trying to attend. I was the first in my family to go to a four year college, and my dad, a real life Archie Bunker with a less sunny disposition, was against the idea from the start. Pretty much all of my friends had their tuition paid by their parents, some where even given cars for graduating high school. (while I lived in a fairly affluent area, my family was blue collar lower middle class)

While I am intelligent, I am not a very good student, and I really suffered from trying to pay my own way. The idea of taking out student loans and applying for financial aid was alien to me, and it seemed that the process required parental involvement, I wanted my parents out of the discussion.

Looking back, I could have made better choices on where to attend and what to study, but I really lacked any kind of support and advice that I could trust, and my expectations for myself were pretty unrealistic. Ultimately I just had to give up after years of struggle, it just wasn't worth it. I did manage to get a two year technical certificate, which has allowed me to be gainfully employed. I don't think I would have been successful in any of the areas that I tried to get a degree in, anyways.

I know there are many, many others who have faced far greater challenges than I had and succeeded, so I'm not under any delusion that I got a raw deal.

As for paying for my own kid's education, we're trying to contribute as much as we can. He's only nine, so we've laid a solid foundation already, with a good chunk of time left.

 

[BigTimber]

Well, I live in the US, where education is very expensive and my parents are working class. They're also not great with finances and didn't plan ahead financially. So they can't help, even if they wanted to. I didn't expect them to help pay when I went to community college and I still don't expect them to help when I go to Landmark College (though $20 for laundry and such would be awesome).

However, when I went to CC, they did help in other ways. Like letting me live with them, which is huge contribution.

I believe if parents have the ability to help without financially ruining themselves, they should. It's already tough as it is to get an education and it gets tougher every year, leaving your kid in the dust strikes me as cruel and idealistic. This isn't the 1950's anymore, where CC was nearly free or actually was free and entry-level jobs had decent wages. These days CC is expensive and they raise their prices literally every year (not to mention the price for textbooks and supplies). Wages have been stagnate for several decades and you have to work more hours to make ends meet, if they even give you the hours. Public assistance (this includes FAFSA) rules are designed to screw over students under the age of 24, because for some reason, they're still considered dependents. So, if your 23, independent, and your parents are well off and they decide not to help you pay for school, your pretty much screwed.

 

[Kari Suttle]

At first yes my parents paid for it, but when their savings for my college ran dry and i was already failing out of the school i was in as it was, they stopped paying for it and nearly kicked me out. So, now i'm working two jobs to pay for my schooling - all online, since two jobs means hey i can't actually physically attend school. Not that i can even drive if i had the choice, i never learned.

So yes, i've lived both sides of the agruement, though how much that matters is up for debate cause even tho im paying for it myself i still live at home. I think that in this day and age, if a parent values their child's education and wants to save up, sure save up. College is insanely expensive these days, no college student can be expected to earn enough on minimum wage to pay for it all on their own. That would mean so much student loan debt for years to come. I do think, though, that parents paying for their child's entire college bill is a bit much - the kid isn't entitled, and i know it felt good to be able to pay for my own classes myself. Grown children going to college with their parens help should at least get a summer job and a part timer during the school year and help fund their own education. To support a child's entire college experience without asking them to pay for a dime, i think, isn't a wise idea.

Telling college age children to pay for it all themselves, though, like i said would be cruel if a parent can afford to help out with tuition. Wanna know how much tuition and fees alone would cost at the school i'm thinking of transferring to if i can learn to drive? Almost 5000$ per semester. Double that 'per semester' figure to get the annual price - and that's without extra summer courses to get ahead. And its been raising those prices literally every year. Don't forget textbooks, if you buy them from the campus library it can run you around 500$ per semester. Did i mention the fact that some colleges now require students to live on campus the first year - meaning at minimum 800$ per month dorm fees during the school year. Plus a meal plan for the year, that's another thousand or so bucks.

 

[wyverary]

In the United States, it seems like higher education is nothing more than an enormous scam. I find it astounding that parents are expected to pay for their *adult* children's college education, and that financial aid is based NOT off of the student's personal finances but on those of their parents, and it's difficult to be granted a hardship exception. "College fund" can be the butt of many jokes, but I find the very concept incredibly depressing. And, in my opinion, it's infantilizing as well...basically, as it stands, you are considered a dependent of your parents UNTIL YOUR MID TWENTIES! How patronizing is that to both the student and the parents?

Increasingly, I find myself advising high school students about college, and inevitably, the first thing that comes up is finances. I've seen far too many people take out enormous six-figure loans and get stuck with them for decades...even if you get a good job, how long does it take to pay off that much credit?!

Okay, I'm going to end this rant before it goes into territory that is overly political. This issue just gets me all riled up.

Full disclosure: I currently attend vocational school and, from a cost-benefit analysis, depending on what you want to do with your life, oftentimes it offers MUCH better prospects than a traditional four-year college program.

 

[AsheSkyler]

In the United States, it seems like higher education is nothing more than an enormous scam

What isn't these days? I tell all those annoying little "Nigerians" in my inbox all the time that they need to switch to a legal scam like college or insurance.

And, in my opinion, it's infantilizing as well...basically, as it stands, you are considered a dependent of your parents UNTIL YOUR MID TWENTIES!

26 is the current age limit because then you can no longer be claimed on your parents' insurance.

I was pretty pissed off one of the last years I went to college because I was married, with a kid, us fully supporting ourselves, and they still demanded to have my parents' financial information. Mad Ashe had much to say about how rude and belittling they were being.

 

[wyverary]

26 is the current age limit because then you can no longer be claimed on your parents' insurance.

Insurance, at least, is different in that even if you are below the age of 26 you still have the opportunity to purchase your own. Why isn't financial aid considered as much? I may never know...

 

[AsheSkyler]

Insurance, at least, is different in that even if you are below the age of 26 you still have the opportunity to purchase your own. Why isn't financial aid considered as much? I may never know...

Makes me wonder how cruel they are to kids who are orphans or disowned.

 

[Slithytoves]

I think it was pretty callous of your friend's dad to act like financial support for her education wouldn't have made a difference. At the same time, I'm not sure I would assume that any child is necessarily entitled to help from their parents once they reach 18. There are so many factors that play into the decision of what kind and how much help to provide a grown child. Not saying that your friend felt entitled--I think she made a fair point about the comparison her dad was making between her and her cousin.

She didn't feel entitled. She's always been understanding about her parents' relatively modest means. She was the youngest of three, and her two older brothers had to pay their own way, too. One earned enough scholarships for a nearly full ride and the other is an unapologetic slacker and opted out of school for a life of, well, not much. What bothers me is just her dad's attitude that her progress in life when compared to her cousins was somehow reflective of her character or determination. It's one thing to feel your kids should foot their own bill for college, but it's quite another to ignore what that entails and pretend like kids whose parents fund their education don't have a serious advantage.

She might have earned scholarships like her oldest brother, but by the time she was in high school, her parents' marriage had been shattered by her father's infidelity and her mother was routinely in and out of the hospital for suicide attempts. She came home from school on three different occasions to find her mother unconscious with an empty bottle of pills. In other words, her home life wasn't conducive to getting good grades. Her father refuses to see that complication, too. In his mind, she and her brother should have been in the same position to earn scholarships. Not hardly.

There is so much that factors into a person's opportunities for a good start towards adult life.

And as long as 'free' college isn't a thing and people know it or can see it coming at the time they have children, they should be prepared to pay for college.

I wasn't eligible for student loans (means-tested based on parents' income). So I worked to live and go to school, which wasn't pretty as a fall-back option because there was no job security, no paid time off, little control over schedules

I can't apply this to parents of kids who are over 18 now because things have changed dramatically since the 1990s, but since it's no secret that higher education is an unholy mess (in America, at least) and that student loan debt has become a national as well as individual crisis, I do think parents having children today should consider paying for college an obligation, if they can afford it. I counter the argument that children need to learn responsibility with a reminder that so do people who want to have kids in our current state of affairs. People aren't reproducing in a vacuum. And there are plenty of other ways to teach a kid to be responsible.

When I read stories like yours, I always want to ask if you got a chance to enjoy college. Not just the social aspects, but the actual process of learning. If a kid is busting his ass just to pay for the next semester, when does he get the chance to really get into being a student? Not every kid relishes academics. But those who do are out of luck when they are under so much stress to pay their own way, and I think that's a shame.

 

[Slithytoves]

Personally, I think education should be, if not free, then means-supported. I dislike the idea that it's so much harder for poorer people to get on in life - I'm not saying it's impossible to, but it's certainly harder.. I can't help seeing this as a form of discrimination.

There are means-tested college grants in the U.S., but they don't even come close to paying the full cost of even basic tuition anymore. The first time I went to school, back in the early 1990s, a government grant paid for my tuition with a little to spare for books and partial living expenses. The second time, from 2010-2012, the maximum grant level only covered a third of my tuition at a mediocre public university. Several students from low-income families dropped out of my cohort in my degree program because they simply couldn't pay the tab. It really is a crime.

My approach with my sons was that after high school they had to contribute something themselves if they wanted to go to university. They knew that there was always a free room for them and all the food they needed provided (and the occasional beer), but they had to pay the fees. I'm pleased to say that both of them did that and I think they learned that there comes a time when you have to start contributing to your own future & not rely on your parents totally.

Despite what I said about parents and obligation, I can't disagree with your approach. A compromise agreement is a good way to transition kids from dependency to self-sufficiency.

What would you have done if one of your boys was passionate about a particular degree program that wasn't available close to home?

Oh, man. This thread is so relevant to me right now. I am 30. I've been attending a community college that only gives associate degrees. I've been accepted for transfer into a university. It is the university of my dreams, and one of the best in the world for the specific specialty that I love most within the major of my dreams. And I might not be able to go. They've offered me s financial aid package that-including student loans-covers all tuition and fees, but doesn't leave me quite enough to live off of. I don't have those few thousand dollars to cover the gap. I work full time, but at a low income job that doesn't give me enough to save. My parents could easily provide those missing dollars that I need in order to attend this university. But I'm pretty sure they won't. My grandparents always offered to fund my (then future) education. But now it seems they won't.

I'm so sorry to read this, Ste11aeres. It must be painful to have something you really want just out of your reach, with people who could help you but aren't so inclined. I really hope you can figure out a way to make it work. I'll be honest; I would be a little resentful of my family if I were you. You're 30, so they don't owe you anything, but if they can afford to help I can't think of a better way that money could be spent than helping to facilitate their child's educational aspirations. Everybody has their own views, I guess. And they are entitled to them. But still.

I find it astounding that parents are expected to pay for their *adult* children's college education, and that financial aid is based NOT off of the student's personal finances but on those of their parents, and it's difficult to be granted a hardship exception.

This kept one of my sisters out of college until she was over 26, and by then she was working full time and couldn't get back to school on her own till her 30s. When she was at the traditional age for college, my mother had remarried and was not working, raising my stepfather's two children. My stepfather's PHYSICIAN income was counted against my sister's financial aid eligibility. Seriously?!

 

[tachyon]

Despite what I said about parents and obligation, I can't disagree with your approach. A compromise agreement is a good way to transition kids from dependency to self-sufficiency.

What would you have done if one of your boys was passionate about a particular degree program that wasn't available close to home?

Ahh.. hypotheticals

I could take the easy way out and say that we lived in a large city with just about every possible tertiary course available, but If that situation had arisen, I would have firstly assessed how passionate he really was about the subject. Then, if it really was a good option for him I would have offered him a deal where maybe I paid for the fees & he worked part-time to cover his accommodation & food (or vice-versa).

I think most parents want to see their children succeed, but they must eventually succeed by themselves. The late-teens & early twenties are for most young adults a transition phase and (IMHO ) where they must learn what is required to be fully independent. Assistance from parents during this phase is invaluable, but so is the realisation by the young adult of what is required to be a fully independent adult.

I realise that many parents are not in a position to make much of a contribution, but those are my thoughts.

 

[King_Oni]

Being from across the pond, college is different here and it's government funded by a monthly stipend you receive. Part of it is a gift if you graduate, and part can be a loan (which probably has the most appealing interest rate for any loan ever) which you will have to pay back eventually (though monthly rates are based upon income when you land a job). The amount you can receive as a stipend depends on your parents income. At which the government here assumes that if daddy is loaded, daddy will pay for college... or something like that. If daddy likes his money over his kids, his kids are screwed, since there is no law that forces parents to aid their children financially in college or university.

But in general it means that over here in The Netherlands anyone could go to college without having to depend on (rich) parents to study. At least, that's what it looks like.

Tuition fees are reasonable I think and well in line with the stipend you can receive, but from back when I was studying I always found I was still missing a bit of month at the end of my money so to speak. I between mandatory healthcare, tuition fees, buying college books, making sure I had some food to eat, clothes to wear, it was a pretty rough situation, which, and perhaps I've had it way easier than you guys from the US, to me just isn't an optimal environment to study. The first thing for me to actually be able to study would be to be in an environment free of worries (which means I wouldn't have to worry how I paid my bills monthly). Just a rough idea, even if you max out your loan from the government funded stipment; just healthcare and tuition fees are already half of the monthly stipend. Add in neccesities to live and you're already hunting for 2nd hand college books.

And that situation of mine was when I was living at my parents. I've had other students who for practical reasons lived closer by university (I still had 2 hour travel by train every time I needed to attend classes) but plenty of them dropped out, as maintaining a parttime job seriously interferes with your ability to attend classes, since in a lot of places there are no "student jobs", which means you'll end up with a job that requires you to work weekends and all kinds of shifts on top of your classes. From what I've seen at universities here, not so much colleges (unless they're really specific courses that don't exist in other areas) is that the ones that do best, are the ones that either had proper financial support from their parents (meaning, they could often focus more on their studies) or managed to find a job on the side that went perfectly with their studies (often, one of the few actual jobs that catered to students). But the majority of students with sidejobs to actually be able to attend college or university here usually spend longer than the allotted time to graduate and plenty drop out after they got their bachelor's degree despite starting with the motivation to go for their master's.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

I'm also from across the pond (UK) and we have low interest government funded student loans (covering both tuition and living costs) available to everyone, and additional means tested grants for the less well off, so everyone should be able to get a degree without their parents support. I do believe that it is important for parents to financially support their children's education if they can afford it. After all, why have children if you are not going to put in the effort in order to ensure that they have a successful life? However I think this support should be within reason, as university is an important time to learn how to manage ones finances, and realise that if one can't live within their budget they have to take responsibility for that.

I am very fortunate that my parents are well off and have not only given both myself and my sister extra financial support for our undergrad degrees, but also fully funded both of our MScs and my sisters phd. If they didn't I would have got a job after doing my BSc and come back to do an MSc in a few years, but I am very grateful that I was able to go straight on to do my postgrad with their support, and that I have the option of doing a phd if I want without worrying about finances.