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People as obsessions

Definitely. I tend to rely on a much smaller network of friends than most people, so what usually happens to me is that when I tend to become particularly good friends with someone for the first time (and a similar scenario for romantic relationships), I often become almost obsessed and want to hang out with them all the time. Sometimes I'll often experience disappointment when they move on for whatever reason or another, or if there's other people around us, and the friend starts to pay attention to the other people. I used to take it personally but I've come to see it as a partly a result of being an Aspie and the way we tend to relate to interests and other people.

I've also read this before in an Aspie autobiography, so I know it isn't that uncommon to feel this way.

So yeah, there's nothing weird about that at all.
 
TimBob said:
Guilty. I go into overdrive learning everything I can about new people. It's kind of weird, like I'm assimilating them or at least the data about them. Once the data burst is done, it's toned down, but we're still friends and they're still important to me. It's almost like they become a part of me in some way.

Maybe I'm not AS and I'm really just a Borg. :D
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You put that so aptly, I have actually thought to myself ' I wanna make thought babies' with the mind of others. I am a total data whore.
 
Yeah, humanity are an interesting species - I can't help but be intrigued to the point of obsession. Sometimes, I catch myself staring for longer then what is 'socially acceptable' - not because of anything deeper, so to speak, but just because.
 
Anybody else have an obsession with using pattern recognition and advanced math to map out behavioral patterns in humans? I find that to be an odd obsession of mine. My parents have always tried to convince me that the "human factor" is really just a random variable that can't be understood but for years I swear I've broken down large portions of human behavior into equations.
 
ChurchTheArtist said:
Anybody else have an obsession with using pattern recognition and advanced math to map out behavioral patterns in humans? I find that to be an odd obsession of mine. My parents have always tried to convince me that the "human factor" is really just a random variable that can't be understood but for years I swear I've broken down large portions of human behavior into equations.
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That's awesome you need to publish this. What's your IQ?
 
ChurchTheArtist said:
Anybody else have an obsession with using pattern recognition and advanced math to map out behavioral patterns in humans? I find that to be an odd obsession of mine. My parents have always tried to convince me that the "human factor" is really just a random variable that can't be understood but for years I swear I've broken down large portions of human behavior into equations.
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Interesting subject.

It sort of reminds me of a wish for Congress to find a way to provide a quantitative value to their respective ideological agendas so they could apply .50 multiples to every value for objective equitable compromises. Based largely on an electorate ideologically split right down the middle. Thus effectively bypassing the usual and highly subjective political gridlock.

But of course it's just wishful thinking on my part. ;)
 
Mia said:
I guess I'm not really really like that as much as I used to be, tend to find most people pretty predictable, and eventually they tend to bore me. I've met a few aspies in the past who were much more interesting than regular people that I've encountered, they had so many interests, they knew a lot more than the usual and actually understood what they were talking about.

That interests me, if someone can explain in a knowledgeable way how any matter of things or theories function and I want to know, then I will have dialogues with them. Eventually forming some sort of interchange of ideas and possibly friendship.
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Make weird friends not war...
 
Yeah, I have an obsession alright. Obsessed over getting revenge on a couple of people that I once called friends. I've known them for a long time. I made the mistake of letting my sense of humor get carried away, then I see the message "we're not friends anymore! Stay away from me and my family!" I wanted to kill myself after that. I had an AR15 semi-auto rifle under my bed. I visualized myself loading the gun and shooting myself that night. I'm greatful that my family still cares for me, but even they can't put all the pieces of my heart back together. As time went on, my hatred for them began to build. I play some Disturbed, and I would imagine myself beating the **** outta them regardless if they're women. After that, I would play a dark themed song and picture myself ripping out their ovaries with my bare hands and tell them "you won't be needing this anymore since it's all you care about." As much as I would love to hurt them for what they done to me, they wouldn't give a care about it anyway. It would just stoop me down to their level. Everyday I constantly mention their names and "I'll make you pay for what you've done." I can't stop saying it because it's all I know. It's all I think about. Revenge is never justified. Nothing I say or do will ever make them or anyone else who hurt me care for what they've done. So now I have to work hard and live with the fact that they get to walk this earth unpunished.
 
Rogue Dragon said:
Yeah, I have an obsession alright. Obsessed over getting revenge on a couple of people that I once called friends. I've known them for a long time. I made the mistake of letting my sense of humor get carried away, then I see the message "we're not friends anymore! Stay away from me and my family!" I wanted to kill myself after that. I had an AR15 semi-auto rifle under my bed. I visualized myself loading the gun and shooting myself that night. I'm greatful that my family still cares for me, but even they can't put all the pieces of my heart back together. As time went on, my hatred for them began to build. I play some Disturbed, and I would imagine myself beating the **** outta them regardless if they're women. After that, I would play a dark themed song and picture myself ripping out their ovaries with my bare hands and tell them "you won't be needing this anymore since it's all you care about." As much as I would love to hurt them for what they done to me, they wouldn't give a care about it anyway. It would just stoop me down to their level. Everyday I constantly mention their names and "I'll make you pay for what you've done." I can't stop saying it because it's all I know. It's all I think about. Revenge is never justified. Nothing I say or do will ever make them or anyone else who hurt me care for what they've done. So now I have to work hard and live with the fact that they get to walk this earth unpunished.
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I'm sorry you feel this hurt by someone :( your whole life should not be dictated by one traumatic event, I hope you work past this. You deserve happiness.
 
Rogue Dragon said:
Yeah, I have an obsession alright. Obsessed over getting revenge on a couple of people that I once called friends. I've known them for a long time. I made the mistake of letting my sense of humor get carried away, then I see the message "we're not friends anymore! Stay away from me and my family!" I wanted to kill myself after that. I had an AR15 semi-auto rifle under my bed. I visualized myself loading the gun and shooting myself that night. I'm greatful that my family still cares for me, but even they can't put all the pieces of my heart back together. As time went on, my hatred for them began to build. I play some Disturbed, and I would imagine myself beating the **** outta them regardless if they're women. After that, I would play a dark themed song and picture myself ripping out their ovaries with my bare hands and tell them "you won't be needing this anymore since it's all you care about." As much as I would love to hurt them for what they done to me, they wouldn't give a care about it anyway. It would just stoop me down to their level. Everyday I constantly mention their names and "I'll make you pay for what you've done." I can't stop saying it because it's all I know. It's all I think about. Revenge is never justified. Nothing I say or do will ever make them or anyone else who hurt me care for what they've done. So now I have to work hard and live with the fact that they get to walk this earth unpunished.
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I'm sure more than a few of us have experienced many of those dark urges. But we can't solve all these problems with killing everyone or even ourselves. When you said
"I made the mistake of letting my sense of humor get carried away"
I'm sure there is a lot to that story that can be addressed but if someone doesn't want to be friends with you... you can't kill them over that.

Come over here, sit a spell and make some new friends. Private message some people who don't mind talking (me included) and get this stuff off your chest. But don't act in anger, please. Anger is too easy to give into and if we all did... life would be more miserable than losing a couple of friends.
 
ChurchTheArtist said:
I'm sure more than a few of us have experienced many of those dark urges. But we can't solve all these problems with killing everyone or even ourselves. When you said
"I made the mistake of letting my sense of humor get carried away"
I'm sure there is a lot to that story that can be addressed but if someone doesn't want to be friends with you... you can't kill them over that.

Come over here, sit a spell and make some new friends. Private message some people who don't mind talking (me included) and get this stuff off your chest. But don't act in anger, please. Anger is too easy to give into and if we all did... life would be more miserable than losing a couple of friends.
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ChurchTheArtist said:
I'm sure more than a few of us have experienced many of those dark urges. But we can't solve all these problems with killing everyone or even ourselves. When you said
"I made the mistake of letting my sense of humor get carried away"
I'm sure there is a lot to that story that can be addressed but if someone doesn't want to be friends with you... you can't kill them over that.

Come over here, sit a spell and make some new friends. Private message some people who don't mind talking (me included) and get this stuff off your chest. But don't act in anger, please. Anger is too easy to give into and if we all did... life would be more miserable than losing a couple of friends.
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Thank you for your concerns. It would be great help if I could just forget them and just move on.
 
I think it's pretty common for us to go a bit nuts over new people, be that new celebrities we discover or, new friends we make. Nothing wrong with that as long as you don't get to the dangerous kind of obsession.

Rogue Dragon The "secret" to moving past friends that stomp all over you is to realize that NOTHING you could have done would have then, will now, nor ever will change how they react to you. The only thing you can control is how you react to them. You know you're a cool person, a good friend to have and, it's their loss, not yours. Pity them but do not hate them, do not dwell on their foolish actions and words. You are better than that. The best revenge is being a better person, a bigger person, taking their negativity and using it to grow yourself in a positive direction buy forgiving them.

No you don't have to tell them you forgive them, just do it internally and, that does not mean forgetting what they did. Pitty, sorrow for their loss that's all fine but, not hatred and anger toward them, those will just eat you alive and, make you a lonely , bitter person in the end. They are not worth your suffering and, as soon as you realize that, you are better than them and, can let go and move on.
 
TimBob said:
"If only I knew where to find such happiness."


I had a girlfriend that thought happiness was at the bottom of pints of häagen-dazs. Just trying to make you laugh...
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Probably not haagen daz, but I can make a mean baklava that will make you feel like you have a purpose in life. ;)
 
Thank you. All of you. I've been holding on to this grudge against them for so long I got poisoned by the need for bloodlust. Even after a long time, I've to tell myself to forget them and move on. I tried to find myself a girlfriend, but sadly I'm not worthy for such a thing. Whenever I see a couple, I would use it as a reminder of why they betrayed me. They did it all in the name of sex. The both already have 3 or more kids. Then one day I heard things have been hellish for both of them. As much as I would love to tell them, "so this is what happens when you become sex hungry," I just can't do it. Saying something like that would only make me no better than they are. I'll let the forces of karma deal with them. As for finding happiness, it's better for me to earn it, than to waste my time looking for it and wind up with nothing and be rejected.
 
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