People give clues. Learn to find them.

[WereBear]

I wrote this on another thread:

I credit my extensive study of body language and voice tones for my social ease (such as it is.) But one thing I am very good at is picking up the little cues everyone sends about their true thoughts and intentions. Maybe it is just me developing my intuition, but it has helped me many times.

I would suggest starting with the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin deBecker.
​

If anyone else has a source of knowledge, tips and tricks, or a personal experience, please share.

I've met NTs who are far more clueless about such than I am, but since they are totally in sync with their social network, it never comes up. They never learned these things, but for them, it does not matter.

I do believe picking up on social cues is something we can all learn and get better at. It's just that no one ever taught us.

 

[Ambi]

I have just googled Gavin deBecker's "The Gift of Fear" for videos and found a few youtube lectures I will listen to.

For social stuff, what I have found helpful is this website: Succeed Socially.com | Free Social Skills Guide For Adults
Also the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AU8C766/?tag=succeedsocom-20

 

[Keigan]

Very interesting book, the first chapter requires a strong stomach as it describes a real world and real bad situation in detail.

 

[Ambi]

From Gavin's lecture - my favorite quote: "Niceness is not a character trait. Niceness is a strategy." That would be very useful for me to remember, since people can often act "nice" just to later manipulate or use you.

 

[WereBear]

I also love the good advice on CaptainAwkward.com.

She has people write in with tricky social challenges, and she offers scripts to follow. Invaluable comment section, too!

 

[WereBear]

Also these:

Five Geek Social Fallacies

 

[Ilona Anne Hress]

I wrote this on another thread:

I credit my extensive study of body language and voice tones for my social ease (such as it is.) But one thing I am very good at is picking up the little cues everyone sends about their true thoughts and intentions. Maybe it is just me developing my intuition, but it has helped me many times.

I would suggest starting with the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin deBecker.
​

If anyone else has a source of knowledge, tips and tricks, or a personal experience, please share.

I've met NTs who are far more clueless about such than I am, but since they are totally in sync with their social network, it never comes up. They never learned these things, but for them, it does not matter.

I do believe picking up on social cues is something we can all learn and get better at. It's just that no one ever taught us.

Have you read Not Just Me: Anxiety, Depression, and Learning to Embrace Your Weird by Lisa Jakub? My friend has just started to read it and she thinks it is good.

 

[WereBear]

Have you read Not Just Me: Anxiety, Depression, and Learning to Embrace Your Weird by Lisa Jakub? My friend has just started to read it and she thinks it is good.

No, but it looks really interesting. I will put it on my list.

 

[Ilona Anne Hress]

I have just googled Gavin deBecker's "The Gift of Fear" for videos and found a few youtube lectures I will listen to.

For social stuff, what I have found helpful is this website: Succeed Socially.com | Free Social Skills Guide For Adults
Also the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AU8C766/?tag=succeedsocom-20

Thanks Ambi. I going to look at this site. Have a beautiful day.

 

[Ilona Anne Hress]

I also love the good advice on CaptainAwkward.com.

She has people write in with tricky social challenges, and she offers scripts to follow. Invaluable comment section, too!

Thanks for the info. Have a good day!