People vs Things

[watersprite]

I hope this doesn't offend anyone. I haven't managed to clarify my thoughts or intent here. Does anyone else have a hard time keeping people in the 'people box', as opposed to defaulting back to putting everyone into the 'thing' box?

 

[Beverly]

Yeah, but then the majority of the people I know are tools that I need to do my job. They use me and, I use them. That's a bit simplistic but, it's the bare bones of how my industry works.

I use agents, security personnel, PR teams, technicians, etc... to make myself and my music sound and present better. In turn they use me to make money, introduce fans to newer artists in my stable, garner sponsors for events and so forth. A few of us are also friends but, for the most part it's business and, we are tools for each other to use to further our careers.

Just practical, not being used or using people in a bad way but, it does make people into things.

I suppose, to many, I'm in the thing box too. Most fans have me there, I'm a symbol, a sound, and icon, whatever. That's how it is, when you become more than a person to people, you also become less than a person to them. They forget you have feelings, you get sick, tired, injured, stressed out or whatever and, they get mad when you're broken and can't do the job they pay you to do, just like you get mad at the dull knife or broken scissors - tools, things, not people.

being treated like that tends to make you treat others the same way. If it isn't because of your career, you might want to look at who is doing it to you, and, see if that can be corrected, unless you're okay with "people things."

 

[StephF]

This might sound odd but I get less social phobia when I cast people as things.

Often people ask how you are but they don't really care about what answer you give.

If I imagine them as a piece of complicated machinery I can simply concentrate on using them to whatever end I need without getting into the complexities of how they work.

People I regularly care about I try to treat as people but its not easy even then

Does that make me some kind of selfish person ? I hope not.

 

[Vinca]

My natural inclination is to think of people as 'sculptures'. I spend alot of time taking in the shapes and colours that make them up and have to remind myself that they are a 'person first' and, that knowing the intracices of the shape of their head, for example, doesn't mean I know them.

I do find it more comfortable to interact with people (IRL), when they have a defined 'purpose' eg teacher, parent, drving instructor, window cleaner, Postman etc

 

[Beverly]

This might sound odd but I get less social phobia when I cast people as things.

Often people ask how you are but they don't really care about what answer you give.

If I imagine them as a piece of complicated machinery I can simply concentrate on using them to whatever end I need without getting into the complexities of how they work.

People I regularly care about I try to treat as people but its not easy even then

Does that make me some kind of selfish person ? I hope not.

Absolutely correct and, I see nothing wrong with that so long as the few you do actually have personal relationships with are people when you aren't working.

On stage, in the office or, studio, even my friends become tools of the trade, right there with the sound technicians, the choreographers, lighting team, agents, managers, security, etc... When it comes to my career, I don't care if you are some form of divine being, if you are there to do a job, you are one of the tools I need to do my job.

Most stay in the thing box since I only interact with them for work reasons but, I do have friends in the industry, though we don't usually perform together. Mostly my choice, makes it too hard to shift from person to thing and back again too often. DJ is the exception but, only because he does the same thing. When we work together, we are both tools, things the other can use to get the job done and, use as we need to without worrying about feelings.

That's how it works best in any career, workers are tools, things the company or business uses to get the job done and, we all should be treated as such, used to the best of our skills and abilities in our careers, and using others where we need them. it isn't personal, it's work, success and, it is one thing that separates the ultra successful from the peons.

If you take emotions, personal feelings, like or dislikes into consideration, you probably won't assign the best skilled person to a distasteful task, especially if you like that person but, forget all of that and, make them a tool, a thing for you to use to get a job done, an object without emotions, needs or preferences and, you assign the best person to the task. They might hate it, might quit after it's done but, you got it done the best it could be done. You can replace that tool later, so it broke while doing the job, get a new one tomorrow.

Yes it's cold hearted and, it sucks to be on the receiving end of that kind of treatment, but receiving it helps you learn to give it and, that leads to advancement and success. I've been on both ends, still am but, I accept being the one being used to do a job because I understand why those I'm working with need to treat me like that, they want to succeed and, when they succeed, so do I.

In the end, it's selfish, even if I am the one being used, I'm allowing it because I need my agent, manager, promoter or, whoever to succeed so that I can also succeed. Ultimately I'm fueling my own success and, even if it has to be cold and impersonal that's how the best get to top in any career.

 

[watersprite]

no one is "doing that to me." When I asked the question, I meant that I put everything including people into categories. I was and am wondering, thinking and considering the processes involved. Agree with StephF that it is not easy but that I try, to a point* to treat the few people I care about as people.

*However even then, it is possible for a person who I care about to behave in such a way as to be Designated As Thing. It is just about impossible to restore those to people-status.

 

[On the Inside]

I've had to think hard about this, because I certainly see a great deal of "those around me" as things. I agree with Vinca, that it is easier to interact with people when I think of them in terms of their purpose. As long as I stick to the narrative of the context, I'll be fine, but will falter if things get more personal. Categories like co-worker, dentist, barber.

When I see any of these people outside of the context from which I know them, it is disconcerting and I get a bit flustered, but usually manage to come across as happily surprised in an awkward sort of way, I think.

My partner has accused me of treating her as a thing quite a bit, rather than as a person, and this puzzles me, I am far more open, sharing and receptive with her than anyone else, but maybe that's not what she's getting at.

I also tend to focus attention at the shape and characteristics of someone I am interacting with, watching their mannerisms and expressions. I think it helps me understand them better than if I just listen to them. It feels as if they are aware that I'm scrutinizing them though, so I tend to look away a lot too.

 

[Crossbreed]

I find that people feel less like things when they need me to give to/love/support them. That is, when I invest in them (at least, some of the time).

 

[clg114]

I feel a absolute difference between people and things. Things do not have feelings and can not be physically hurt. It makes me feel bad to hurt a person in any way, but a thing, not so much. On the other hand, when I get hurt it is not thing that hurt me. It is a person or at least a living being. There is a lot of ways to categorise entities, but to me, people and things are in a different category. Sometimes it would be nice to put people in the thing category, but I just can not feel it.