Hello. I'm too young to think of this right now really, but last night, my mom told me that I shouldn't have kids because they will most likely have autism. I have wanted a kid or two in my mind. But my mom just said this because I have been diagnosed recently. If I wasn't diagnosed, she wouldn't have said this. What is your on having children? Autism is found to have several DNA strands linked to it, which shows it is a genetic disorder, or is more likely to be passed down if you or someone else in your family has autism. I feel like I'd be fine with children. My mom was concerned about "what if the child is severely autistic" and stuff. I can function quite fine, just with difficulty in some aspects. But overall, good. Anyways, going off topic. I feel like this may have not been a good thing to say, I am unsure though. Thanks for any responses
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I've encountered this with people before as well. The last person who worried about me/us having a child was my previous girlfriend who was also an aspie.
Make no mistake:
There is nothing wrong with parenting an autistic child! Sure it makes things more challenging but that's good! It makes or breaks a parent and tests their merit. A good parent will rise and make the effort to be the best parent they can be because often having a baby isn't enough of a wake-up call; people get a second wake-up when they find out their kids need extra help developing. It's all too easy for people to have babies; I've seen way too often parents who are lazy, unmotivated and uninvolved with their kids. Usually when they find out one is autistic, they sometimes start showing more interest in how their kids actually work. Others... care less, like they have something defective. Don't be one of those.
I have autism and I have dated girls with autism and many people point fingers and say such ignorant things about how bad it is and how horrible it would be to give birth to a child knowing they would have it. That's like saying you shouldn't date a midget person
(don't know the politically correct way of saying that) because you would have midget babies. Why is that bad? Life may be harder, but that doesn't mean it can't still be wondrous and beautiful! People let fear grip them too much they become intolerant and hateful.
Before, having an autistic child was really more of a rarity, usually seen as caused by something unavoidable like incest or pregnant smoking. But this was an era of ignorance. Now we have autism awareness and are breached by these accusations from the previous generation who saw autistic children as grotesque curses upon their entitled lives. Now, for some of us, it becomes very likely we will have an autistic child and they will think it's somehow our social and moral duty to never have children!
Let me put things in perspective: Look at the fully autistic, low functioning people. Really look at them. People
(like many in our parents' generation) may only see headache and difficulty because they have only concerns for the parent. They don't even comprehend what the child feels. You know what I see? I see a human being who is usually happy; happier than normal people. Ever seen them in support groups? They can be the sweetest, most loving people. I actually worked with a lower functioning autistic girl in her 20s. She was slow to talk and wasn't very bright but she was the sweetest thing! I never felt like I was burdened by working alongside her. It was a shame the way her mother (my boss) treated her, they mentally abuse her and regret her, often casting off her love with annoyance and they use her at work as free labor because they are evil. But she was always so loving and blissful of the crap her mom put her through. And she did do great work too! Don't ever let someone tell you a low functioning autistic person can't learn a skill or trade well enough for employment! She was actually better at putting together campaign signs than the trailer trash punk kid they wasted money employing (briefly). That kid had nothing wrong with him other than his trash attitude and lack of maturity and that autistic girl worked twice as fast as him! I know because I clocked them!
Don't look at it like it's a chore or burden. Having an autistic child to ANY DEGREE is a blessing! It should keep you on the front end of being a motivated, well learned parent and you may come out with a child who will always love you if you do right by them.
I know it sounds mushy because we with asperger's
often grow very dark and unreachable but I know that there is always a path available to all of us to walk where we tap into our love and affection. If anything, we are often cursed with sharp analytical minds that give us excuses to keep people at a distance
but we have such great capacity for love that it any parent can be proud to bring into this world.
I can provide any argument, whether logical, philosophical or emotional to help you justify having your own family. You just ask and I'll give you anything you need. When you come of age, you are more than worthy of the happiness of a family.
The key is the love inside you.