Personalised doorbell/answerphone?

[Spiller]

In the spirit of deterring sales-people and other cold-callers..
Door bell: I would have the sound, increasing in volume, of Zombies, moaning and shambling toward the door, followed by their frenzied banging and scratching..
Answerphone: A womans voice, screaming incoherently.. then a wet, squishy, crunch!
Bad taste? They deserve it, the f*****s!

 

[Cali Cat]

I don't know about a personalized doorbell sound, or a voicemail message, but I always wanted a personalized "welcome mat" that says, "Be brief, and be gone!"

 

[Harrison]

No one comes to my door, but if they did I'd want a bell that had a slight pause and then the sound of savage dogs going nuts.