Phone Calls

[Outdated]

I know a lot of other people have this problem but I wonder to what extent. I hate making phone calls. Right now it’s 2:00 am and I don’t want to go to bed yet because in the morning I have to make a phone call.

It’s ridiculous, it’s not a tough phone call I have to make, just phone some maintenance people about my stove not working. There’s no reason on earth that I should get nervous and worked up by such a thing, but I do.

I don’t have any trouble talking to people in person, in fact I prefer it. Talking to people is one of my special abilities. Quite often I feel like I’m a bit of a conman because if I can get inside your personal space then you will like me and you will want to help me. It’s an incredibly useful talent that almost never fails.

I can’t do that over the phone, over the phone I’m emotionally deficient and also hard of hearing.

Yes, I’m a little strange.

 

[Judge]

There was a point in my life where I too had great difficulty with phone calls, especially if and when they involved complete strangers. Though for myself, it was something that was solved in terms of "necessity being the mother of invention". That being a job, where I had to use the phone perpetually every day in talking to insurance agents who always wanted something. It became so routine that I lost the fear of using the phone, though I freely admit that I still have problems in terms of timing when to speak and when to listen. Probably an aspect of being on the spectrum. Having tinnitus in my right ear certainly doesn't help either.

 

[Suzanne]

I hate phones and cursed the inventor lol but due to my faith, I actually have learnt to speak on the phone and even have a study via phone, which is interesting to say the least.

I used to hyperventilate if I had no choice but make a phone call, even a call that is no big deal.

Jump all the time when that contraption rings.

 

[Metal316]

Yes, phone anxiety goes back to me being called out when I got home, by the workplace.
Having to drive again in teatime rush hour traffic.

Not wanting to be on call but not wanting to let others down.
A similar dislike of letters arriving as well.

 

[Outdated]

A similar dislike of letters arriving as well.

I only check my mail about once a fortnight, if I remember to check at all. Sometimes the letterbox is quite full.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I very seldom make phone calls even when I was at work, would rather walk to the persons office. see them in person, i prefer to read the person I'm talking too, which you cannot do over the phone.

 

[Progster]

Yep, always hated making phone calls. I much prefer text. It's a necessary evil that has to be done sometimes for work or other reasons. I won't pick up the phone if I don't recognise the number.

 

[Storm Hess]

I HATE the phone as I do talking to others in person. I forced myself to speak with a person from the district counsil during his neighbourhood evaluation, because I thought it was important to be heard. Talking to someone in person is better than the phone, though I despise that as well.

 

[Ken]

I know a lot of other people have this problem but I wonder to what extent. I hate making phone calls. Right now it’s 2:00 am and I don’t want to go to bed yet because in the morning I have to make a phone call.

It’s ridiculous, it’s not a tough phone call I have to make, just phone some maintenance people about my stove not working. There’s no reason on earth that I should get nervous and worked up by such a thing, but I do.

I don’t have any trouble talking to people in person, in fact I prefer it. Talking to people is one of my special abilities. Quite often I feel like I’m a bit of a conman because if I can get inside your personal space then you will like me and you will want to help me. It’s an incredibly useful talent that almost never fails.

I can’t do that over the phone, over the phone I’m emotionally deficient and also hard of hearing.

Yes, I’m a little strange.

I feel I'm the same way regarding talking on the phone. It sets extreme anxiety, I can't sit and talk on the phone. I have to pace the whole house when on the phone. It is so bad, that I can't even own my own phone. Just the thought of owning one is nauseatingly gross to me . We have a land line phone in the house and that is what I use when I have to.

Talking in person for me is the same, if not worse. I have pretty extreme social anxiety and being in the company of others has my anxiety to about train wreck levels. I can mask my way through for about an hour, but it gets really hard beyond that.

 

[Stuttermabolur]

It's interesting reading some of the responses here, as I feel differently than most of the people here.

I definitely have a lot of anxiety about contacting strangers (or even people I know if it hasn't been scheduled), but it goes just as much for phones as sending an email, SMS or other type of message, and doesn't have anything to do with the medium.

When it comes to communicating with others, the phone might actually be my favourite way of contact. I'm not hard of hearing so that isn't a detrimental factor like for some. Texting to me is great becuase it means that I can get my thoughts out fully formed, however, I don't think it's optimal when I'm having a conversation due to how slow it is, and sometimes it is useful to get feedback or be able to explain specific things more quickly. I would much rather be able to tell someone something in 5 minutes rather than spending 2 hours writing and editing a perfect message, which the person might ignore anyways.

I dislike talking through a camera as the person can see how my face reacts, and I can also see their face. The internet can cut out and the sound quality is often bad. I can have difficulty controlling my face, and thinking about my appearance, and how others are feeling is anxiety inducing, and during online meetings, it can also be difficult to know whether you should keep your camera on or not. I also feel like talking over people happens very easily online.

Phones to me have the best of both worlds. They aren't connected to the internet (for calling at least) so the sound quality is consistent, neither person sees each other so you can focus on the contents of your words. I tend to pace around a lot while talking which I think might have a calming effect, but you can still have a long deep conversation and gleam a bit how the other person is feeling from their words. Interruptions do happen, but once you get into a rhytm, I feel like it's easier than for an in person conversation. The main problem, as Outdated mentioned, is starting them.

 

[Outdated]

...but it goes just as much for phones as sending an email, SMS or other type of message...

This is true for me too, I don't use any social media and I really hate online chat. I worked on a project with a US programmer for a while and we had to chat but I never got used to it.

I'm fine with email though, I don't have to answer emails straight away, I can give more reasoned responses like that.

I hate texting mostly because I'm sitting here with a 27" screen in front of me but for a text I have to try and find where I left my other glasses. Then all of a sudden an election was coming up and the thing kept squawking at me all the time. That was the final straw for me, not doing that any more.

 

[Outdated]

Just another quick thing about phones.

I don't get phone calls very often, but today the phone rang and I didn't feel like answering it. I just carried on playing my game and let it ring out.

It took quite a while to ring out and I thought - if my neighbour's got OCD this is probably driving him mental.

 

[DaisyRose]

I used to despise making phone calls. Especially when I was in school. I always had to make advisory appointments to schedule my classes each semester. I also had to make appointments for my accommodations as well. It feels awkward to not see who you’re taking to. I would always be so worried and even cry when I had to make phone calls. My meds have helped me a lot with phone calls. I just do it and not worry about it anymore.

 

[vergil96]

I can’t do that over the phone, over the phone I’m emotionally deficient and also hard of hearing.

I don't hear well, so I have a similar issue. I rely on visual cues much and don't hear well through the phone, so I avoid phone calls as much as I can.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I hate making phone calls but for over 20 years I had work that involved a lot of phone calls every day, many cold calls. Gradually I learned techniques, patterns, for different types of calls and got pretty good at it. But never got over my dislike.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I hate talking people I don't know well. I'd rather talk on the phone than in person, but still I don't like it. I too, have put off phone calls for days. I would much rather go to a website and do what I need to do if possible. Or if I can text, I will do that. I only call on the phone if necessary.

 

[tazz]

I know a lot of other people have this problem but I wonder to what extent. I hate making phone calls. Right now it’s 2:00 am and I don’t want to go to bed yet because in the morning I have to make a phone call.

It’s ridiculous, it’s not a tough phone call I have to make, just phone some maintenance people about my stove not working. There’s no reason on earth that I should get nervous and worked up by such a thing, but I do.

I don’t have any trouble talking to people in person, in fact I prefer it. Talking to people is one of my special abilities. Quite often I feel like I’m a bit of a conman because if I can get inside your personal space then you will like me and you will want to help me. It’s an incredibly useful talent that almost never fails.

Yes, I get this too. If I have a call to make it's unsettling for hours or days beforehand. Sometimes I'll pace up and down for an hour or so rehearsing before I can make the call. I'll look for ways to avoid making the call. It's quite debilitating. And one of the first things I did as I got to grips with being diagnosed autistic, and figuring out what changes I could make to make my life a bit easier, was to stop making calls.

 

[Outdated]

I hate talking people I don't know well. I'd rather talk on the phone than in person....

I'm the exact opposite. I go to great lengths to avoid making phone calls. I'll break out all my old school hacker skills to find out which office of which building they're in and go and introduce myself in person if at all feasible.

The same as @vergil96 mentioned above, I rely heavily on being able to see the person physically and to be fully aware of all their body language if I'm to communicate effectively. Over the phone I'm almost deaf by comparison and severely disadvantaged. In person it's the other way around, it's everyone else that's at a disadvantage.