Please and thank you.

[Keith]

I sometimes have trouble saying "please" and "thank you". When asking someone to help with something, all I say is "Excuse me, could you help me with this?" (although I do thank them afterward, albeit quietly for some reason). When I receive an answer to something, I often say "ok" but not "thank you". When I do thank them, I say it at a tone almost akin to a whisper.

I think this mainly comes up when I'm talking to family members. When I'm talking to a cashier, I'll thank them more audibly. This also comes up on social media where I reply "ok" or not at all. I wonder if this is because my mind is distracted by its own random thoughts.

 

[Progster]

I don't have difficulty saying "thank you" - this comes automatically, but I often find it hard to ask for things. It makes me feel awkward. I prefer to try to do things on my own, but that's not always possible.

 

[clg114]

I think it depends on how you were raised. My mother always taught us kids to be polite. I always said "please" and "thank you" as a kid because that's the way my mother wanted it to be. As a adult, I was the same way because if I wasn't and my mother found out, I was in big trouble. Now my mother is long gone, but I'm still polite out of habit.

 

[Kari Suttle]

I have issues with this as well. Usually its because in the moment i tend to forget. I focus too much on not showing nervousness and actually getting my point across than on remembering to be polite. I forget more often as a cashier (myself at work) than i do talking to a cashier. I never remember to say thanks or be polite asking for help with something.

The more comfortable i am with someone the less reserved and guarded i am, the more real i am with them. People at work especially. If i'm overwhelmed and its someone i'm comfortable with i'll pretty much stutter out what i need help with and fall over my own words doing so. If i'm uncomfortable around the person i'll force myself to say everything as normally as i can manage, and if i'm more than a little nervous i'll actually be polite on instinct. I'm just relieved that my favorite supervisors seem to be able to understand what i'm trying to ask them about in these moments. Idk how they do it lol. They don't know im aspie. But a coworker is an aspie so maybe they learned, or maybe its just a thing good supervisors can do by instinct.

 

[Keith]

I have issues with this as well. Usually its because in the moment i tend to forget. I focus too much on not showing nervousness and actually getting my point across than on remembering to be polite. I forget more often as a cashier (myself at work) than i do talking to a cashier. I never remember to say thanks or be polite asking for help with something.

The more comfortable i am with someone the less reserved and guarded i am, the more real i am with them. People at work especially. If i'm overwhelmed and its someone i'm comfortable with i'll pretty much stutter out what i need help with and fall over my own words doing so. If i'm uncomfortable around the person i'll force myself to say everything as normally as i can manage, and if i'm more than a little nervous i'll actually be polite on instinct. I'm just relieved that my favorite supervisors seem to be able to understand what i'm trying to ask them about in these moments. Idk how they do it lol. They don't know im aspie. But a coworker is an aspie so maybe they learned, or maybe its just a thing good supervisors can do by instinct.

Thanks for that.

 

[Berianireth]

I tend to forget social conventions even though I sometimes *think* them wordlessly. Especially when I'm nervous. I am usually OKAY with remembering via e-mail/text/letter mail though.

 

[Effy]

I say please, but I have a lot of trouble thanking people. I forget, but a lot of me also feels like it should be automatic/that they should already know it. Then again, I read somewhere that neurotypicals seek validation a lot, so maybe... maybe that's it?

Furthermore, I still don't understand why, if I'm feeling quite confident that day, I can't reply, "I know, right?" to someone's comment about me looking good that day, or something like that. Neurotypicals find it rude, but the Aspie I said it to found nothing wrong with it -- we decided it was simply a fact, and saying thanks for someone noticing a fact was weird, but then we went to discuss how others should notice the Aspie in me... I think it would still work, considering if people say, "You're an Aspie," or something like that, I can't really say thanks for it... I can thank them for acknowledging it, but not for saying I am.

/ramble

 

[royinpink]

I sometimes have trouble saying "please" and "thank you". When asking someone to help with something, all I say is "Excuse me, could you help me with this?" (although I do thank them afterward, albeit quietly for some reason). When I receive an answer to something, I often say "ok" but not "thank you". When I do thank them, I say it at a tone almost akin to a whisper.

I think this mainly comes up when I'm talking to family members. When I'm talking to a cashier, I'll thank them more audibly. This also comes up on social media where I reply "ok" or not at all. I wonder if this is because my mind is distracted by its own random thoughts.

I usually remember, and tend to over-thank people if anything...I have this weird sing-song 'polite' register I use that I think I originally copied from a middle school friend. But sometimes I mix up polite phrases. Like one time I thanked Halloween trick-or-treaters instead of saying "You're welcome," and oftentimes my default is "Sorry" in place of all polite phrases if I'm a bit distracted/flustered.

 

[anthoskate]

I don't have any problem saying please and thank you because my mum used to always ask if I said please and thank you to people when I was younger, so it is a rule that I follow. Although I can see how you might have that problem because I have a problem saying hello when I see somebody that I know.

 

[Keith]

Come to think of it, it might have something to do with a tendency to sometimes become confused as to how to respond to a given situation.

 

[Berianireth]

Keith I have a similar problem from working! I am used to people that are so hurried that please and thanks are psycho remarks. I go home with my dunce cap on and come back having figured out that my coworker is displeased but I still don't know why they were so nasty when I was polite! I end up avoiding the common courtesies with other people that would like to be spoken to more because I fear the "punishment tone" lol.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

I always say please and thank you, however, at the new job they want us to also thank our patients for choosing our hospital to come to. I'm going to have a hard time with that one cause I feel like I'm trying to sell my services. It just feels weird. Maybe they just came there because its the only trauma hospital in the area and the ambulance brought them there, or maybe it's because we are conveniently located in their area. Idk. It's just weird to thank people for their business when they're a patient. Everything always comes down to money I guess.

 

[Keith]

What prompted me to bring this up was a realization that I wasn't thanking people on Yahoo Answers. I would choose the best answer, but not thank the person.