Pitfalls and pinnacles tend to come in groups with mesas in between. I was a bit toasted in terms of burnout a little while ago. Things have stabilized a bit, but I also got a few surprises I was not expecting from friends and family that certainly didn't hurt.
One of
@VictorR s more recent posts in his journal thread also noted the groupings.
And sometimes you need to do a little self-care, when in the course of helping others you put yourself on the back burner.
I agree about that, with regards to burnout. I did not talk about that issue as admittedly I usually work myself through that silently too. But I did tell one here about six weeks ago, and even told a few since, I had reached my limits with trying to care too much, as something was missing that I needed more of, or present that I needed to back away from.
I think the untold story here are the ones that post a lot, and give too much for others, or push too far forward, masking their own pain or desires mostly. I am not one of those posters in terms of quantity, so it amazes me those who can do that.When I post I do give usually many efforts though.. But, there is a price to pay when many here care too much or have high expectations for ourselves, and/or when we put ourselves second.
The focus usually is on the outwardly depressed, anxious and more troubled ones in the moment, or the chronic concerning signs and symptoms cases, and less on the others trying to support or assist them or who have their own hidden issues or situations to deal with. The others assume we can handle everything. Yes we may be strong on the surface, be good at problem solving, or show traits that may seem like no help is needed, but we can reach our limits or stray too far into doing something more because of internal pressure or strong empathy too.
So what happens if we are so selfless and we go past the reasonable levels of taking care of ourselves, and we feel either others expect us to be perfect machines, and able to balance so many things without complaint, or if we put pressure on ourselves to be better or do more? Sometimes we take on too much, feel lots of stress or sadness mounting, or feel regretful for the outcomes where we did not meet our expectations, so we may back away in some way as we feel so unmotivated, alone, stressed, confused or ashamed unlike before.
Like I said before somewhere, I hope others in life do not take certain things for granted. Just as the outwardly depressed or really stressed or anxious can drop off the forum from time to time or for long duration, even if given support or advice, obviously so can the others who focus on supporting and assisting need a break, assistance or something more needed for them,when less support or advice is given them. They may never ask, but when they see they cannot do anymore,or at that time, they may back away at least temporarily because of that pressure or face things head on which can make matters worse..
So, the moral of the story maybe is, be just as kind, supportive and attentive to not just those outwardly suffering or requesting such, but the supportive and assisting ones too, as we all our suffering in some ways, on the surface or hidden, or have unmet needs. These persons rarely ask for anything, as it is trained in them to give and not receive, or as they learned to have to do things alone. So, consider reaching out to the outwardly content or happy ones too and asking how they are really doing from time to time. You might be surprised by the answer, that they had some troubling situation they could not solve themselves..
