Potentially being fired from my job, any advice

[RemyZee]

I have processing differences and executive functioning challenges, and I find it challenging to navigate lots of the practical aspects of life (ie forgetting things, losing things, remembering dates, etc etc ect. At my job I have been told I'm being put on notice--I was already on a "personal improvement plan". I had a report that was due, and while getting things in on time usually doesn't get in my way, I missed filing it by two days.

This morning, at a staff meeting, my boss kind of blew up because of the report being late, and berated me during a staff meeting: ("I've told you again and again to get it into me. It isn't hard. You have to learn the essential functions of your job. On your personal improvement plan for the next month you have to work on feedback (I don't quite know what he means by improving my feedback) and by doing better on my time sheet, but I was told by the accountant my time sheet hasn't had anything wrong in the past two months. He really isn't a bad guy, but I've made too many mistakes and it always comes back to the mistakes. The social stuff doesn't help at all. And I TRY. I do everything people tell me to: take notes, make calendars,etc but it's my constitution that I process things slowly and it leads to all kinds of misunderstandings.

I'm just really sad right now because it looks like again I may be asked to resign or fired. And it's not covered by the ADA--the ada doesn't cover essential duties. I do fine and even excel at some things: writing, research, putting together events. It's the things that seem unimportant to other people because it comes naturally to them--things like doing time sheets or keeping a calendar organized.

Have any of you been fired because similar things and how did you handle it, and does it sound like my boss was being confrontational or just trying to help? I kind of had a melt down and stopped being able to talk. Actually cried in front of everyone. I know I'll get through, but it has been a difficult day.

 

[jsilver256]

I am so sorry this is happening to you.

Autism does come with a greatly impaired working memory.

You need to assume that you cannot remember these functions in the same way that NTs can. Have a checklist of things to do before you sign off. Set timers for everything. Even the most basic things. Get used to scheduling, calendaring, checklists, whatever it takes for you to maintain your duties. Record conversations where important things are said.

 

[tree]

@RemyZee
"On your personal improvement plan for the next month you have to work on feedback
(I don't quite know what he means by improving my feedback)"

Who are you supposed to be giving feedback to?
Seems like a good idea would be getting concrete examples of
what sort of feedback they're looking for.

If they mean feedback from you.

Or maybe they mean you're supposed to work on aspects of job performance
that they have told you about.

I can't tell.
Which is it?
Or is it both?

 

[RemyZee]

@RemyZee
"On your personal improvement plan for the next month you have to work on feedback
(I don't quite know what he means by improving my feedback)"

Who are you supposed to be giving feedback to?
Seems like a good idea would be getting concrete examples of
what sort of feedback they're looking for.

If they mean feedback from you.

Or maybe they mean you're supposed to work on aspects of job performance
that they have told you about.

I can't tell.
Which is it?
Or is it both?

That was part of the uncertainty--I kept asking what he meant and he'd say "feedback, you need to improve in feedback." I still have no idea what he meant.

 

[tree]

It would be good to know.

I think you need to get clarification on that.

Did you tell him you had no idea?

Has he given you examples he considers sub-standard,
so that you can know what you're supposed to improve on?

 

[Tired]

In my company all of us are getting evaluated by other workers. So "getting better feedback" for me means "I want to hear other workers saying good things about you, because right now they don't."

 

[Tired]

Sorry to hear about your situation, OP. I never was fired and i am not ND, so I don't know what to suggest. I just hope it'll get better for you.

 

[Rodafina]

@RemyZee

I also think it would be good to get some clarification on what your boss said. Anticipating that this could be stressful to ask for, you could write down a few questions or notes to keep in your pocket.

A boss "blowing up" and "berating" you at a staff meeting is not a good way for them to communicate any issues with your work. I think it may be worth it to try to have a more appropriate, private, and clear conversation with this person.

 

[RemyZee]

It would be good to know.

I think you need to get clarification on that.

Did you tell him you had no idea?
I didn't tell him I had no idea, but said I wasn't sure of what he meant--he just kept saying improve on feedback.

Has he given you examples he considers sub-standard,
so that you can know what you're supposed to improve on?

f

It would be good to know.

I think you need to get clarification on that.

Did you tell him you had no idea? Itold him I didn't know what he meant and asked for examples but he didn't give any.

Has he given you examples he considers sub-standard,

He gave a couple of examples: there was an issue with timesheet s, but I've gotten to where I am doing them NEARLY correctly; and issues with converting to military time--I know the formula, but for some reason I can't do the basic change. I basically have to take standard time, translate it to military time, transfer it to an excel sheet along with getting all the numbers right (numbers shift around a lot when I look at them) translate it onto an excel sheet, ensuring that the information correlates with the database, and then the whole process of locating that particular timesheet in my files and the process of sending it. Talk about working memory. I get 10 seconds into a process and lose what I'm doing. It is a disability advocacy center with a non disabled boss.

so that you can know what you're supposed to improve on?

 

[RemyZee]

In my company all of us are getting evaluated by other workers. So "getting better feedback" for me means "I want to hear other workers saying good things about you, because right now they don't."

oh yes. And maybe he has gotten negative feedback about me.

 

[BryceMcBryde]

Really sorry to hear about this. From personal experience, I know how hard it can be to focus on stuff like thid while on the spectrum. I hope things work out in the end

 

[Aspychata]

We support you here. Sorry you are going thru this. Do you think u should apply elsewhere?

 

[vergil96]

I think feedback means telling the boss what you're doing, reporting fairly in real time, and asking him/her question when you have doubts. Especially in the context of difficulties with "easy" tasks. My first thought would be to get through the process of e.g. filling out a calendar with someone else a couple of times first, so that I learn how to do it and don't struggle with it later, ask when I can't find something, ask if everything is fine and how to correct it. Don't be afraid to ask for feedback (essentially for others to tell you how to do certain tasks or to help you do them).

 

[AspieChris]

Nothing but support here RemyZee.

All I can tell you is what I do to remember things. I.e. my tricks:

The biggest one is using alarms on my phone. I suck at using the calendar, so I just use the alarm. If I have a commitment that is due tomorrow at 9am, and I get off of work at 5pm today, I might set 5 alarms as soon as I am told what I need to do with each one titled for what needs to get done. 4:45 pm “gather materials”, 6pm “work project”, 8pm “work project”, 7am “double check project”, 8am “put car keys with work project”, 8:55am “don’t forget project is due at 9am!!!”

It sounds ludicrous to everyone else, but I genuinely want to do well. I want to be on time and I AM capable of performing fantastically….. if I can avoid distractions. I cannot avoid distractions though, so I use my alarm to sort of slap me back on track.

You’re obviously smart, so start thinking outside of the box. We have seemingly endless tools available (smartwatches, etc), so just try EVERYTHING and don’t be afraid to look foolish on your own time. I would (personally) prefer to be laughed at by my friends and family for having my alarm go off several times if it can remind me to NOT lose my job

 

[Hypnalis]

at a staff meeting, my boss kind of blew up because of the report being late

I've told you again and again to get it into me. It isn't hard. You have to learn the essential functions of your job.

On your personal improvement plan for the next month you have to work on feedback (I don't quite know what he means by improving my feedback) and by doing better on my time sheet,

I'll decode some of what your boss said, but it won't solve your real problem - see the second part of this post for that..

When you're paid to do a specific job, you have to do it. Not doing it, regardless of the reason, means you need to be doing something else.

When you're doing a job (which means: "not in the process of exiting because you can't do it"), your boss sets the responsibilities and activities. If you cannot do some part of the work, you must do one of:
A. Negotiate with your boss
B. Move to a different job

There are more options for other: there are people who can "fool the system". You're not one of them - you have those two options.

In case it's not clear, "persuade people to accept your inability to deliver as expected" wasn't forgotten. It's not on the list. Again, there are (quite common) situations where that happens. It seems very likely yours isn't one of them.

You can deal with your immediate issues only if you address the real situation. I could probably help you, and there others here with the necessary skills and experience. But it's not an easy path. If you want an easy path, "technical" help is useless to you.

2. Decoding your boss's words.

1. If you had to deliver something other people will use (i.e. most reports), and it's delayed, you've messed up other people's schedules. Your boss will either be held responsible for that, or get other kinds of problems in his work.

2. You were reminded to get it done in time. That's all your boss has to do. It's actually more than he has to do.
The second sentence ("You have to learn the essential functions of your job") is obviously true.

3. "Feedback" can be more than one thing, but he may have said more. What he very probably means is to tell him when there may be an issue with an essential work product.
It would be sensible to verify that though. Because he's clearly not playing - you're right to be concerned about issues at work.

And BTW - "no errors with time sheet for two months" just means you've performed at slightly better than minimal level. It doesn't get you off the hook for e.g. a delayed report.
What he means is "if you fail at any other essential aspect of your job there will be negative consequences". Quite possibly (B) above will be put on the table (e.g. via a "Personal Improvement Program").

"Decoding" wrap-up.
Naturally I can't be certain about this, because I got the information it's based on via you.
But I advise you to take your work situation very seriously.

3. Summary

You need to sort out your work issues fast.
The tools and techniques mentioned in other posts will help, but they won't address the root cause of you issues. So don't transfer your efforts to creating the perfect set of tools. It's really for that to become the "next displacement activity" rather than a solution to your acute issues.

Identify your specific acute problems at work (don't forget "your boss is out of patience"). I'd guess 5 to 10 issues.
Address each one, prioritizing "things I have to do to keep my job".

Identify what you do, or don't do, that makes these simple things problematic. This can't be done quickly, but if you're not facing the underlying causes, you'll start making the same mistakes again.

4. I'm an IT guy, not an MD, but ....

It sounds like you have both "executive disfunction" and a weakness for "avoidance" over problem solving.

You may not be able to "fix" those. But you can definitely work around them. It's difficult - fighting your own nature is always difficult. But the alternative is (B) above.

The solution is discipline (at least in your working life).

BTW: be careful about using the web or YouTube for advice on discipline. Most if it is to help people who like being structured and organized to achieve difficult goals. A lot of it is good, but the entry point is too high for you at the moment.

 

[All-Rounder]

I honestly believed that if I'd be diagnosed I could be safer at the workplace and now that you're saying that even the ADA doesn't cover these tasks, I guess it's all up to negotiating and at least trying to explain to the person our struggles. But that's very hard and vulnerable thing to do as well as it doesn't guarantee any understanding or patience.

I read in forums a long time ago a guy who told his boss he was autistic, was undiagnosed and had to get a diagnosis but once he took it to his boss his boss believed him and didn't fire him anymore. It depends on the boss and maybe even the stuff that will happen in case you miss to operate as expected again.

I have gotten fired over many things, from being late losing track of time and generally starting some unimportant task and not being able to end or finish it, a one-track mind,
to not focusing on data and not viewing numbers well, to inability to count and severe hardship to calculate. Casheering is a nightmare and it took me long into the night with the guard trying to throw me out of the building because I wouldn't ever finish my calculus and everything within the time we had to and I couldn't get the bill for the day while customers still were around probably shopping. When I closed the store a bit sooner than usually to be able to do my duties in time one customer got suddenly very upset called customer protection and reported me for closing time. Sucks to have no help, but if you do they might not want to be doing the calculus, counting themselves all the time.

When I had to unpack and document all the merch while watching customers and stopping my progress, scanning their products it was terrible and I made plenty of mistakes, and the program couldn't edit the files so I got in trouble tons because I also had the fear of the file disappearing and I would save it but even sometimes I wouldn't notice that some fields that needed completed in some parts were not, there was a lot of stuff to remember, some fields had to be empty, others not. And sometimes I would forget if I added some products on the document or not, like where I left the merch document off at.

There was social anxiety my psych said is the cause of that, when people were around I also couldn't focus.

I learned slowly and I had to study on the screen because otherwise I couldn't retain so I'd look for the products on my own like I'd normally do at home in my interest and that helped. There were too many products and I don't understand how my colleagues complained behind my back audibly after a few days that I wasn't learning them. There was one who sued my boss and was staying after boss tried to fire her who kept saying they had done everything alone without help and learned fast when the store first opened. Maybe so but I didn't work that way.

I managed to keep my spirit and happiness up to have a job regardless of all the hardship and thoughts but when I got the call I'm fired I just started crying.

I am at the stage where I can't imagine being able to profess a lot of the jobs I'm thinking of and the dread and fear of being fired over and over again once every few months and abused is in my bones. Now I am physically impaired too with my knee issues: osteoporosis, osteoarthritis, broken ligaments and broken meniscs. I feel stuck and my home situation with paying all my money watching it disappear while my mother treats me worse for having a job is just crushing.

Even with a full-time job which I wonder if I can handle I wouldn't afford living on my own and handling everything, bills, food, tasks and repairs to maintain my own place, the salaries are dirt, they're not majored like in the rest of Europe for many years now to keep up and the inflation is top of Europe. People leave to better countries for salaries. But for that you have to offer impressive skills and work hard to be accepted as a stranger instead of a local worker.

 

[Peter Morrison]

Most of us have issues like yours - inability to complete tasks or being confused and wasting time. I have always found that concentration takes a lot of energy because I have to avoid distractions. Distractions come in many forms. The environment and the organization of that environment can ease some distractions. Take some time to evaluate your natural habits to identify why deadlines get missed. Use the tools that support your natural habits to keep you on track. Also, I think your boss needs confirmation that you understand the issues he wants to see improve. You are not a failure - you are going through a learning curve that needs a lot of attention. Find the methods that work best for you, and ask for help when you need it. Everyone goes through difficult learning curves.

 

[Judge]

Remember, it's not a crime if and when a job just doesn't suit you. Sometimes it just happens, and likely for most of us at some point in time.

Take care.

 

[RemyZee]

I've thought about it and am keeping my eyes out.

We support you here. Sorry you are going thru this. Do you think u should apply elsewher

 

[Raggamuffin]

I got in trouble in every office job I worked for constantly making mistakes.

After 18 years of such anxiety and shame provoking critiques from management, I moved to care work. I absolutely thrived at that work.

I'm now just starting a new job as a Support Worker for people with learning disabilities.

The pattern of mistakes at office work mostly boiled down to the sheer repetition of the work. It was dull and soul destroying. Thus I tended to rush through it, in a vain attempt to get it all out the way as soon as possible, knowing full well more would be on the horizon.

Ed