Preempting

[Suzanne]

I had this trait of mine. As soon as someone is explaining something, I stupidly jump in, without giving them the courtesy of finishing their sentence and think it is because my brain has grasped on to what they are saying and thus, I want to speed things up.

Yesterday, was on zoom and my video was going crazy. I tried to switch to another video emabler and it worked for such a short time, before my screen started being stupid. So, someone started to say what to do, and I once again, interrupted with: yes, I will restart my computer and quickly apologised for interrupting. Well, it did not work and in the end, I thought that perhaps I needed to do an update and thus, will see tomorrow if that works.

I kick myself each time I preempt someone. Just do not feel good about it.

 

[Stuttermabolur]

I know exactly what you mean. I need to consciously tell myself not to do that when speaking to people. I did it way more when I was younger and didn't think about it, but now it only happens occasionally when I "slip".

It might help that I live with my grandparents, and my grandfather often takes several seconds to finish sentences, so I've gotten very used to having the opportunity to finish sentences but choosing not to. When I speak with an autist friend of mine it's actually quite funny, as we are constantly interrupting each other since neither one of us cares. The conversation is basically one big interruption. Most people would get really annoyed with me if I spoke the same way with them as with her.

 

[Rodafina]

@Suzanne and @Stuttermabolur , I understand what you described for sure. I don't interrupt much (too passive), but I stop paying attention. If I feel like I know where someone is going with too many words, I get anxious and start stimming and then get lost in my own thoughts.

 

[Angular Chap]

I would never interrupt anyone for fear of being shouted at, and I hate being interrupted myself, I get annoyed, flustered and lost when people do it to me, but I used to finish peoples sentences all the time. I don't think it's considered rude here since no one ever shouted at me for doing it, and I thought I was being helpful. I learned years later that it makes me look like a know-it-all when I do it all the time, so now I try not to do it at all.

 

[Hylian]

I do this all of the time and it's hard to resist doing it. I just don't want to wait for people to finish what they're saying if I already know what they're getting at. The purpose of speaking is communicating something, and if they've already communicated something to me then in the moment my brain just doesn't see why I should make someone waste time by explaining things more than is needed. I try to word it like I'm asking and trying to confirm if that's what they mean though, instead of just flat out interrupting and stopping them, but I still think people think how often I do it is really rude.

 

[Rodafina]

The purpose of speaking is communicating something, and if they've already communicated something to me then in the moment my brain just doesn't see why I should make someone waste time by explaining things more than is needed.

Amen to this! Well said... the logic of the autist prevails.

 

[Forest Cat]

I used to do that a lot. But over time I realized it's a bad habbit and it's annoying for people. And I don't want to be annoying. So I learned to stop myself before I do it. It's better for everyone.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I had this trait of mine. As soon as someone is explaining something, I stupidly jump in, without giving them the courtesy of finishing their sentance and think it is because my brain has grasped on to what they are saying and thus, I want to speed things up.

Yesterday, was on zoom and my video was going crazy. I tried to switch to another video emabler and it worked for such a short time, before my screen started being stupid. So, someone started to say what to do, and I once again, interrupted with: yes, I will restart my computer and quickly apologised for interrupting. Well, it did not work and in the end, I thought that perhaps I needed to do an update and thus, will see tomorrow if that works.

I kick myself each time I preempty someone. Just do not feel good about it.

It can be a challenge, no doubt. The brain gets a bit too excited and your social skills and communication "fall off the rails". My inner monologue is often reminding myself to "just chill the **** out", pause, take in the context and perspective, listen to people, then communicate calmly. It's a constant thing with me because my baseline behavior is to just fire off a quick, and sometimes inappropriate response, or interrupt their train of thought.

 

[Hylian]

I think I also find it hard to resist doing this because I have problems verbalizing my thoughts, so I don't mind if people give me an "out" and interrupt me by finishing what I'm taking forever to convey, so I don't have to keep trying to talk for no reason. I try to remember that other people don't have that problem and don't want me to do that to them. My coworkers who don't speak English that well don't seem to mind it though, probably for the same reason that I don't.

 

[Aspychata]

Think it's an important rule of civility, please let the person finish their train of thought because in life, people don't think at the speed of lightning like a pinball machine, and put together thoughts, logic, and words in the same order. Nobody is better than anyone else, and everybody has off days. I use my lighting speed to ask more thoughtful questions which always delights the person l am talking to. The added bonus, people assign me more IQ points. (Which may not be true).

 

[SusanLR]

The person I live with, the only person I have a semblance of a conversation with,
constantly interrupts and cuts me off when I try to say something.
It is very annoying.

I start to say something, and he interrupts, trying to finish what I'm about to say.
Usually, he is wrong. It's not what I'm about to say and I have to reply, no.
Then he'll say something else and it's usually not correct either.
And I wonder why he always tries to second guess me.
Why can't I finish a sentence without being interrupted?

In reverse, if he asks something and I'm not lightning fast with an answer,
he'll mock me by saying, "No answer."
Then I must say, no, I was going to answer, but I was thinking about the best possible answer.

Other times he scolds me and says I have to go all around the world to explain something that one or two words would have done.
I like being precise and making sure the other person understands.

I remember a thread on this subject a long time ago and most were like me.
They felt the NT just needed the quick reply or explanation and didn't understand
why I needed a little more time to process and put words together.
It does become annoying.

 

[Luca]

I try to never interrupt anyone if I can avoid doing so because my mom does it constantly, not just to me but to everyone else, including professionals, and it really irritates me. So I understand how much it must annoy other people. It comes off as very rude and disrespectful and like she's not listening at all, and like she has to have the last word. I lose my patience real quick when she does this. Other people do too, like the other day she legitimately got into an argument with a doctor on the phone because she kept interrupting her.
I also don't want people to think I'm rude or annoying because a lot of people already find me rude and annoying anyway.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

The person I live with, the only person I have a semblance of a conversation with,
constantly interrupts and cuts me off when I try to say something.
It is very annoying.

Story of my life, Susan. It's very aggravating. Especially when they say, "I never noticed I was cutting you off." Really? You think I just speak in half-sentences and can't formulate a full opinion or point??