Pretend play

[Suzette]

I am still considering if I am really autistic. I go through many days of being amazed at my traits that are definately autistic and then suddenly remembering something from childhood that makes me question everything all over again.

Today I was thinking about pretend play. When I was a child I loved imaginative play, especially dressup. In many ways I wasn't too different from other young girls. I didn't want to wear my mothers clothes though. I just wanted my own dresses. I especially liked frilly dressess and skirts that would flare when I spun. I loved to spin! I was also rather perversly focused on high heels. I would stack blocks in my socks to approximate high heel shoes. I liked to dress up more than other girls and would play alone.

The other thing I liked was playing with my barbies. I always wanted a play house for them but I didn't get it. Sometimes I played out scenarios but most of the time I just liked using my barbies to do domestic things like cook dinner or go to bed. It wasn't the dinner I was interested in, it was the miniature household tools and furniture that I liked using. I also has some polly pocket minis that I loved, loved, loved!

When I was 8 we moved 3 times in one year. My mother decided that I was too old for my toys and gave them away. I was inconsolable! I continued to play the same dress up and doll games well into my teens. I simply saved my money and bought new things or begged for new ones for my birthday or Chistmas. I had more than one adult and one child tell me I was too old for my toys but I didn't want to give them up!

I also had a hundred or so plushies. There was a ranking system and the most favored toys got a spot on the bed. I did not play with my plushies, they were simply lined up and ranked. But they all had personalities!

That is enough for now.

Was my play style inconsisent with autisim? I don't know if I ever played tea party or invited adults to play tea party with me. That would seem a very nt kind of thing to do.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I wouldn't know. The only faux pas I remember involving a doll house was the first day of Kindergarten. I went to the classroom and saw what I took as a large model of a house. The teacher hustled me away, sternly warning me that I am never to play with such girls toys.

 

[Kalinychta]

Can you tell us what about all of that you think may be inconsistent with autism?

 

[Tom]

I don't think there is a standard pattern for autistics in this. I myself was very into pretend play. To some degree I still am I think. I still collect and occasionally set up the same toy soldiers I did when I was young. I also enjoyed engaging with my kids with their toys (legos, playmobil, etc). I've known others on the spectrum that were also very imaginative in play or other forms of expression, and others that were not. Although you never can tell sometimes what is going on inside their head.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

I sort of play with fashion dolls. I mainly change their clothes and try to give them different hairstyles. I’m pretty good at giving dolls 80s inspired perms and crimped hair. I made one Barbie I have look like Chaka Khan .

 

[NeilM]

The fact that you were spinning definitely places you on the spectrum. I did a lot of spinning too as a little boy. And the fact that you played with your dolls well into your teens is very indicative too.

I was the youngest of three boys so there were no dolls at my house (altho I remember playing with some at a neighbor house) so I had more gender appropriate toys such as building sets and model cars. I had things built with my building set up til I was going on dates with girls! I saw the inconsistency tho and put them away.

 

[Suzette]

@Gerald Wilgus, I am absolutely horrified by your experience. But you turned out o.k. al the same!

@Kalinychta, autisim stereotypes run deep. I never related to autisim until recently and I am learning new things about autisim all the time. "Autistic kids don't like pretend play" is a stereotype that is still mentioned on a lot of websites. It is hard to know what ideas have been debunked.

@Tom, thank you. That is a very reassuring comment.

@Captain Jigglypuff, I had an awesome pair of grey harem pants and a belt that was studded in moroccan coins and was about 12 inches wide. The 80s was a very fun time fashion wise.
I never got good at making clothes for my dolls. I am envious you have the skill.

@NeilM, that is interesting. I will read more about spinning. I still love spinning! My favorite ride at an amusement park is the one where they spin you very fast and the floor falls away. I also like the tea cups because I know how to make them spin fast!

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I am absolutely horrified by your experience. But you turned out o.k. al the same!

I was in a discussion with somebody who was pointing out that ND traits are considered less feminine in girls and I replied that in boys they are seen as less masculine and I am fine with that.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

My favorite ride at an amusement park is the one where they spin you very fast and the floor falls away.

THE WALL OF DEATH! Here's to you, @Suzette

 

[Fino]

I loved pretend play as a child, pretending to be superheroes and whatnot. But everyone had to follow my rules or I wouldn't play LOL

 

[Kalinychta]

@Kalinychta, autisim stereotypes run deep. I never related to autisim until recently and I am learning new things about autisim all the time. "Autistic kids don't like pretend play" is a stereotype that is still mentioned on a lot of websites. It is hard to know what ideas have been debunked.

I see, okay. Yeah, that’s definitely a stereotype. Seems like autistic people either have very little imagination or a very great deal of it. I loved playing by myself, reading books and imagining myself in them, making up my own worlds, etc. I’m still that way as an adult.

I started reading this book a few months ago, and it reminds me of your post. I bet you can relate to the author. She loved dressing up and high heels and all that sort of thing when she was a kid. It was her “intence, fixated interest,” but because it was girly stuff, no one found it unusual, which kept her from being diagnosed as autistic for many years.

Autism in Heels The Untold Story of a Female Life on the Spectrum: Jennifer OToole: Hardcover: 9781510732841: Powell's Books

 

[SusanLR]

I guess I fit the stereo type since I didn't care about dolls, dress up or pretend play.
Never had an imaginery friend.
Tea parties, no.
My mom tried to get me to participate in one with the local neighborhood girls, and when I got there
I found it silly to see them dressed up like fancey adults feeding dolls tea and cookies.

I did like playing with my collection of plastic dinosaurs outside in the grass and dirt.
Board games were my favourite as a kid.
I was about as far away from being girlish and femine as you could be growing up.

Fishing with my Dad and playing with my pets and things like lizards, turtles, frogs and bugs
were my things.

 

[Raggamuffin]

I enjoy reading posts like this as I see a lot of similarities in how I behaved as a child and it all adds to the feeling of being understood and integrated, after spending most of my life not really knowing where I fit in.

Ed

 

[Progster]

There's this false idea that still lingers on among some professionals that autistic people have no or little imagination, don't want to play with other kids and share, and therefore can't possibly do pretend play. It's wrong - take a look around this forum, and you will see plenty of people on the spectrum with imagination, engaging in fantasy, sharing that with others.

 

[SDRSpark]

Was my play style inconsisent with autisim? I don't know if I ever played tea party or invited adults to play tea party with me. That would seem a very nt kind of thing to do.

I wouldn't think so. There are a lot of stereotypes that wound their way into diagnostics and "official" opinion that are just plain wrong, and I strongly suspect that this is one of them.

I've always had "too much" of an imagination (think "maladaptive daydreaming" and hyperfantasia) - though I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. I wasn't good at playing with others though. I did play with others occasionally, but often times, the other kids just thought I was weird and bullied me. (Looking back on it I see WHY they thought I was weird and bullied me lol *cringe*).

I was also so stereotypically autistic that I probably would have been diagnosed if I weren't also female and gifted. They found "gifted" and stopped there.

 

[SDRSpark]

@NeilM, that is interesting. I will read more about spinning. I still love spinning! My favorite ride at an amusement park is the one where they spin you very fast and the floor falls away. I also like the tea cups because I know how to make them spin fast!

I loved to spin as a kid. I can't do it now (my stomach can't handle it lol. Dang adulthood!)

At least once I actually disappeared from class (or failed to notice that recess was over and come in with the rest of the class)...after a panicked call to my mother, I was found outside, alone, in the middle of the soccer field...spinning. I would spin at every opportunity. I would spin until I got dizzy, lay on the floor and watch the ceiling spin, then get up and do it again. I would spend hours spinning. Or on my knees swinging my head in circles to music. Or rolling back and forth with a blanket over my head to music. I would literally spend all day doing this. Even ruined two mattresses doing this (the springs popped through). It's literally all I would do all day when I was home on summer vacation.

How on earth no one took one look at me and said "this kid is textbook autistic" I have no clue.

 

[Raggamuffin]

I started spinning with my staffing where I do a palm spin which I can keep going for 10+ rotations, but now I spin on the spot with my body but in the opposite direction. It's really weird and it's making me dizzy.

Also, have an opossum - you deserve it.

Ed

 

[Sarah S]

I am still considering if I am really autistic. I go through many days of being amazed at my traits that are definately autistic and then suddenly remembering something from childhood that makes me question everything all over again.

Today I was thinking about pretend play. When I was a child I loved imaginative play, especially dressup. In many ways I wasn't too different from other young girls. I didn't want to wear my mothers clothes though. I just wanted my own dresses. I especially liked frilly dressess and skirts that would flare when I spun. I loved to spin! I was also rather perversly focused on high heels. I would stack blocks in my socks to approximate high heel shoes. I liked to dress up more than other girls and would play alone.

The other thing I liked was playing with my barbies. I always wanted a play house for them but I didn't get it. Sometimes I played out scenarios but most of the time I just liked using my barbies to do domestic things like cook dinner or go to bed. It wasn't the dinner I was interested in, it was the miniature household tools and furniture that I liked using. I also has some polly pocket minis that I loved, loved, loved!

When I was 8 we moved 3 times in one year. My mother decided that I was too old for my toys and gave them away. I was inconsolable! I continued to play the same dress up and doll games well into my teens. I simply saved my money and bought new things or begged for new ones for my birthday or Chistmas. I had more than one adult and one child tell me I was too old for my toys but I didn't want to give them up!

I also had a hundred or so plushies. There was a ranking system and the most favored toys got a spot on the bed. I did not play with my plushies, they were simply lined up and ranked. But they all had personalities!

That is enough for now.

Was my play style inconsisent with autisim? I don't know if I ever played tea party or invited adults to play tea party with me. That would seem a very nt kind of thing to do.

Suzette as you know im ASD 3 and all the rest and if there is one thing im good at it is pretend games or taking on other roles in different roleplays etc... And have been since i was a little girl. So as many of you already said to me and others in here you can't compare, you're self with us others. This is highly individual diagnose as is all NP diagnosis.

And i agree 101 % with Progster. Were all different and can't nor should we get trapped in the traditional mold of how us with this and or other diagnosis should be and work. We are all our own unique individuals.

If i were to follow how i actually were supposed to be with all my diagnosis and levels etc... I shore wouldn't be able to live all by myself taking care of my own household economy etc... And most definitely not being able to understand others & being able to help them.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

@Gerald Wilgus, I am absolutely horrified by your experience. But you turned out o.k. al the same!

@Kalinychta, autisim stereotypes run deep. I never related to autisim until recently and I am learning new things about autisim all the time. "Autistic kids don't like pretend play" is a stereotype that is still mentioned on a lot of websites. It is hard to know what ideas have been debunked.

@Tom, thank you. That is a very reassuring comment.

@Captain Jigglypuff, I had an awesome pair of grey harem pants and a belt that was studded in moroccan coins and was about 12 inches wide. The 80s was a very fun time fashion wise.
I never got good at making clothes for my dolls. I am envious you have the skill.

@NeilM, that is interesting. I will read more about spinning. I still love spinning! My favorite ride at an amusement park is the one where they spin you very fast and the floor falls away. I also like the tea cups because I know how to make them spin fast!

Actually the only clothes I’ve made for my dolls were no sew made out of baby socks. I don’t know how to sew or have a sewing machine.

 

[Aspychata]

Sign me up, l love spinning. My daughter loved dress up and went to cos play conventions. She spent most of young years alone except for a younger boy who she hung out with because they both loved Pokemon. It was fine with me.

I do love swinging and would always do this as a kid. I enjoyed inside roller skating around and around at the skate rink as a tween.

I remember doing many things alone and being perfectly fine with it.