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Problem with keeping secrets

A

ArtistVia

Active Member
I've had this problem keeping secrets. Or not keeping secrets. I realized my belief system that supported why I thought that was ok is heavily flawed (people should know the TRUTH). Should have realized it when it supported not keeping people's secrets but nope. If I had never made the connection to Asperger's I would've gone on forever thinking this system was right and everyone else's was wrong. So now back to redefine my beliefs for like the 110th time because that system causes me to hurt people and push them away. I've come a long way from the system that supported ramming my ex-boyfriend's car (twice) as a good idea but there's still a long way to go.

Anyone have experience overcoming gossiping or breaking confidences? It's tough!!!

Thanks. So very glad this site is here.
 
I don't really have that problem. I only have two friends and they don't know each other. At work, if someone confides something to me I usually forget about what they said in a couple of hours probably because I guess I just don't care and I'm there to do a job. I guess it's good for them since they can air out their problems and they know I don't gossip. I have learned so many things about people and then I file it all away for later use for myself in who exactly I can trust. I don't know about men, but women are such gossips! That's why if I have anything I need to get off my chest I'll just talk to one of my two friends or my Mama. I wouldn't even trust a priest these days.
 
I do have trouble keeping secrets, but it is more: this is hard to keep, but I see why I have to keep this secret and thus, maintain not "telling on others", which has resulted in people confiding in me and when it does get out and they come back to me, I tell them plainly that they need to look else where and generally, they realise they told someone else.

Integrity keeping is VERY important to me and that helps me do the right thing.

My biggest problem is keeping it secret from my husband and I am afraid, that I do nearly always tell him, but he is good and does not let on that he knows.

I have this constant fear of blurting out because I am always having trouble with keeping truths back!
 
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