Processing Error?

[@iam_cloud]

Recently, I've been going through a lot of stressful and emotionally heavy life changes. I lost my best friend (yes he was a dog. Still...) of 9 years. This, combined with my relatively new status as aspie adult and what that means to the people around me, has created a lot of emotional strain. On top of this, my father (who I live with) and sister are too steeped in the "how things are done" approach to understand that I don't process things the way they do and no amount of forcing is going to make me.

I wanted to adopt and train a new companion dog ASAP so that I could continue to function in society while I grieved the loss of my little buddy. But I was told, "That's not how you grieve." This turned into a battle that's completely changed my relationship with both my father and sister.

I went ahead and adopted a dog myself, rather than waiting for the approval that will never come. But now I can't help thinking that I'm somehow broken. I wish I could just experience social interactions, day-to-day situations, and the emotions that come with these. But I can't. Am I a special case to be filed away in the disabled file? Or am I just a different kind of normal?

 

[Judge]

Rest assured, there is no clear manner for how or how long one grieves. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

We all navigate grief at our own pace, whatever it may be.

 

[wyverary]

Don't ever let anyone try and tell you the right way to grieve. We all process these things in our own ways, regardless of neurological profile. NT's grieve in so many different ways, too. It's not a "processing error."

 

[Autism]

cloud: so very sorry for your pain.
Do what makes you happy, do what makes you feel whole, what makes you heal on your own terms. Family often can be the biggest hurdle to get in your way of getting healthy again.
We all have to see ourselves different from the family, we are not family, can still care for family, but not let them run our life.

 

[LikeyouToMe]

My wife and I used to dog sit for some friends and the unthinkable happened and my favourite dog in the world and actually a massive love of my life, died, under our care. No one will understand the connection I had with Sadie, it hurt like living **** and I'll never get to see her go absolutely ballistic when she got to see me ever again. I got a tattoo of her name, date of birth and the date she died on my arm too.

I can't pretend to know you pain fully, but I know it hurts and no one can tell you how to grieve but do be careful that you aren't "just" replacing your friend with something new because your new friend will never be the same as the one you lost.

I hope they bring you as much joy and happiness though. Sending love

 

[Peace]

Hello,
You are neither broken nor wrong, you are different. We are all different, but many of us have much in common. This is a safe place, something most of us do not get at home. Not because other people are bad, but because we are misunderstood. Having Aspergers is a gift. Sure it is difficult, but anything worth having is worth sacrifice. Learn to appreciate what you have, and how to use it in a good way. There is good and bad in all things, what you choose to take away from it is a choice only you can make.
Good luck.

 

[Autism]

I know what you mean with the dog. They really are family members. They are actually much more disciplined, loving, and loyal than most of us ever experience. My ex husband never measured up to the dog, hahahahahaha.

 

[KassieMac]

I know what you mean with the dog. They really are family members. They are actually much more disciplined, loving, and loyal than most of us ever experience. My ex husband never measured up to the dog, hahahahahaha.

My cat had a twitter account, she called me Mom and called my ex The Big Mean Guy That Used To Live Here. She passed in August and it nearly killed me. I can totally relate, I'll take animals over most people any day. I love my new kittens, but the one that just passed truly was my soulmate, and I'll never forget her. I'm so sorry for your loss, to the original poster and anyone else who's lost someone special.

 

[@iam_cloud]

Thank you all for your support. It's funny how I get more here from complete strangers than I do at home. My new fur-baby is fitting in really well and she is completely different from my boy. Though, they would have loved each other.