Processing information is becoming harder

[Neia]

The whole process of me selling my little house in this expensive town, so I can buy another one in a much quieter area is rather unsettling.

The bureaucracy is so overreaching and befuddling.

Each time I think progress is being made, something ele comes up, and leaves me anxious. I get a brain fog and have to try really, really hard to be able to unfog things.

Honestly. Something that I would have had no problems with just 5 or 6 years ago, now seems unsurmountable.
I try reading things and it feels like Words are all stuck together and I can't understand what's written.

Then guilt comes, because I feel like I should "just make an effort" and understand what's written.

Could this be a consequence of growing up being forced to mask?
When I was much younger, I always felt like I couldn't tell anyone if I couldn't understand something, so I'd push myself to understand, even if only enough to scrape by.

I so wanted to be perfect like  they all were. Still do in many ways, even if I really don't want to. It's hard to join these two sides of me. The one who couldn't care less about what others think, and the one who wishes she could be "normal".

 

[Judge]

Hope it all works out for you. I went through it some years ago and it was an ordeal in a particularly bad market. Very stressful.

 

[Roisin]

Moving house (selling, buying, packing, unpacking) is discombobulating. Its one of the most stressful experiences we can have.

Your brain is reacting as best it can, I can relate to the frustration of this, what works for me, or rather what helps, is self-care, the things that I might not feel that I have time for, or deserve, little kindnesses to myself become critical for my wellbeing.

When I can relax my fight/flight/freeze response is turned off and my critical thinking skills return.
A stressed brain is of no use to me!

It takes longer than brute forcing your brain may have done in the past, but if its like with me, its the healthiest and most efficient way to work with my natural way of being.

Asking for help with reading and understanding these documents, is there someone gentle that you could trust with this?

 

[All-Rounder]

I know what you mean about learning not to mask after we've been doing it for a long time, but I think this is also is some sort of pressure and important big thing for you, where you expect yourself to get it done but also literally don't have support.
Try another time if it's not working, sometimes the brain just doesn't do, and the next morning, the brain takes me by surprise, when did I become so efficient?

 

[jsilver256]

Have you ever sold a house before? It is indeed a lot of work… and a lot of the concurrent tasks we are not good at.

While burnout may be a factor, you may also be noticing your limitations more often than you did before.

Like for instance when I tried not giving one word answers to everything or reciting off a script, I find myself tripped up with selective mutism quite often.

 

[TBRS1]

Stress makes every bad thing worse.

The stress of buying, selling, and moving house is about as stressful as things get - but add that on top of all the other stressors you (and, frankly, all of us) experience daily and you are talking about carrying a heavy load.

There is no cure for it, it seems, other that pushing through.

Best thing, in my experience, is to make sure that one includes enough "me time" to find one's way back to relative balance. For me, this means wondering aimlessly about the forest looking at and listening to whatever attracts my attention - wholly without any intended purpose.

Maybe for others something else will work better, but "me time" matters, and is easy to forget when pressed by stress.

 

[Neia]

The worst of it today, seems to be packing.

I have so much to pack. Books, PCs, crafts materials, tools... then there are all the regular things as well. Pots, pans, all the kitchen stuff I never use but "may need it one day". Clothes, linen, etc.

I'm trying to take it slowly, but am constantly feeling like my strength will fail me, my body starts trembling, my heart rate goes up, I start hyperventilating...

I hate this!!!!

Will I ever be able to do simple things like these again?

Sometimes I just think that I should either pack up every single pin or scrap of yarn without wasting time sorting things, or... chuck everything in the garbage and be done with it.

Neither is feasible of course

 

[Judge]

The worst of it today, seems to be packing.

I have so much to pack. Books, PCs, crafts materials, tools... then there are all the regular things as well. Pots, pans, all the kitchen stuff I never use but "may need it one day". Clothes, linen, etc.

I'm trying to take it slowly, but am constantly feeling like my strength will fail me, my body starts trembling, my heart rate goes up, I start hyperventilating...

I hate this!!!!

Will I ever be able to do simple things like these again?

Sometimes I just think that I should either pack up every single pin or scrap of yarn without wasting time sorting things, or... chuck everything in the garbage and be done with it.

Neither is feasible of course

It is a cruel process. I mean for all the momentary exhaltation of actually seeing a sale that goes through, then we are rewarded by having to move. The last act in this tragedy of a play.

I still recall the remaining moments when I left my condo for the last time. Desperately trying to repair one pesky curtain rod where I simply ran out of time and called my realtor. She didn't seem to think it was an issue....and I finally gave the realtor my keys and that was that. Off to Nevada with a car loaded with treasures. I was exhausted, taking a year and a half to actually make it all happen.

 

[Neia]

It is a cruel process. I mean for all the momentary exhalation of actually seeing a sale that goes through, then we are rewarded by having to move. The last act in this tragedy of a play.

I still recall the remaining moments when I left my condo for the last time. Desperately trying to repair one pesky curtain rod where I simply ran out of time and called my realtor. She didn't seem to think it was an issue....and I finally gave the realtor my keys and that was that. Off to Nevada with a car loaded with treasures.

The thing that bugs me as well, is that I had to move so many times all my life. As a child, between the time I was 1 and when I turned 8 we moved houses at least 8 times.
Then once when I was 14, another when I was 16, then in my adult age I moved 4 times between age 23 and 31.
Technically, I should be a pro.
Also, I've been wanting this for about 5 years...

If only my stupid brain would comply.

 

[Judge]

The thing that bugs me as well, is that I had to move so many times all my life. As a child, between the time I was 1 and when I turned 8 we moved houses at least 8 times.
Then once when I was 14, another when I was 16, then in my adult age I moved 4 times between age 23 and 31.
Technically, I should be a pro.
Also, I've been wanting this for about 5 years...

If only my stupid brain would comply.

Coming from a military family, that sounds just a tad familiar.

 

[Neia]

Coming from a military family, that sounds just a tad familiar.

My mom was a hairdresser... not in the military.

 

[Judge]

My mom was a hairdresser... not in the military.

LOL...that's interesting. Well...just goes to show that civilians can be transient as well.

But moving always seemed to be precarious....removing any sense of stability especially in a child's heart and mind. While the process was routine for us, it wasn't ever comfortable.