Psychology is my current obsession.

[Perkinsj88]

This is something I attempted to compose as the result of what I found to be wrong in the world of psychology. These are just theories, yet I feel very strongly about them. This may or may not contain profanity, if for whatever reason, words classified as profanity bother you READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
At this point I would like to express the frustration I feel that was caused by the limiting the mount of characters in the amount of 10000. Now, I will divide my document since I can only attach pictures and I could print and then scan thus allowing me to attach but it seems easier to simply divide it into two posts, yet I still have frustration directed towards this.


I have Asperger Syndrome. This is a recent self-discovery pending a ?legal? diagnosis from a healthcare professional. Following this discovery I have been filled with excitement and intrigue directed towards understanding psychology. The revelation of my condition has sparked an incredible amount of joy and gifted me with the once lost ability to follow my thoughts and think for myself instead of dismissing what a predominant group of humans with the same thought process led me to believe I should do. Just because I sometimes have a seemingly grand idea that is outlandish to this group of predominating people does not indicate with any supporting evidence that my idea is wrong. I am never given the chance to prove otherwise. There is no form of language that can be utilized as quickly as the thoughts racing around my brain. I acquire knowledge in what is best described as an instantaneous spark. My ability to use logic and rules and recognize patterns in such an extreme way results in my inability to demonstrate many supporting factors of exactly why I think a certain way. This causes frustration, I am being directly affected by a communication deficiency, however what most fail to realize and I fail to show is that I am not the deficient factor here. Any form of modern language is entirely too deficient for me to utilize in order to show you WHY! I categorize language as its own entity, language I see as a way to demonstrate complex idea?s and thoughts that are clearly seen within our brains, and from Language stems many forms of communication, the English language is not language at all the way I see it, it?s merely a form of communication that has been birthed from an ever present preexistence of language. This complex theory was developed in an instant as soon as I maneuvered the vast amount of stored data in my brain and found the one missing key that would seem meaningless in a way. Once I found this ?key? it immediately invoked an explosion of thought in how this one single ?key? related to a million different keys thus I have absolutely no real way to communicate the clarity I found on this in a matter of seconds into this form of communication at the same rate. It would take me years to plot together the great amounts of data using a modern form of communication in a way that could be understood by everyone. This likely seems completely unrelated to what I am trying to explain. There are many times I find myself in an attempt to demonstrate an idea of my own only to become stuck in an endless cycle of explanation. By the time I explain in a way that is understood by a person much is forgotten. There are millions of factors supporting my idea?s, all stemming from that one single key that utilized my ability to accurately relate many seemingly unrelated parcels of data or thoughts.
I experience a multitude of these ?explosions? in each day. It can become flabbergasting at times and be interpreted by many as jolting me into a Manic like state. This is leading into how I developed the hypothesis that the widely accepted hypothesis presented for ?The chemical imbalance?. Because I use logic, reason, and patterns to decipher the world around me I immediately see this as far-fetched. This may have been a good theory, it was a creative theory and I am able to ?navigate? the train of thought that led to this conclusion by the person so certain of its accuracy. The difference is, I have Asperger Syndrome, I have an extremely logical, creative, and rule bound view. I will explain in as much detail as I can the reasoning behind the choice to debunk much of the supporting evidence provided in previously mentioned hypothesis. The all too obvious fact that there exists NO way of measuring the amount of these chemicals contained within our brains, also known as neurotransmitters. I DO NOT CARE ABOUT LIKELIHOODS. An estimate will never hold any further meaning than being an estimate. It is not accurate, and how often is it estimates are later found to be so far off it is embarrassing?

 

[Perkinsj88]

You can measure the amount of the chemicals present in my urine as much as you want, the ones that are expelled through my urine did not originate in my brain. Moving to the evidence comprised of the study of individuals with depression who were treated using the medication that would supposedly directly affect the production and dispersing of said chemicals. Again, this hypothesis has created a 12 billion dollar industry with endless demand. Money can be a very persuasive factor in making the decision to accept or debunk a hypothesis. The decision will start from the top and then trickle down through various trusted media outlets and then bam; it’s the truth because everyone says it is. Being as I went through the ringer with the medical diagnosis, originating at the claim I suffered from “depression” I can tell you, the medicine may mask the problem or provide enough time to regroup yourself and push forward again but it is not the fix nor is it aimed at the core cause. I have theorized that what is thought to be an illness may in fact merely be a symptom stemming from another disorder. This may become hard to follow at this point, try and pay attention, retain it all, and see the big picture at the end. When I speak of symptoms, what I mean is Depression, Social Anxiety, Bi-polar (or manic-depressive) disorder and other problems of this kind all stem from the same thing. The chemical imbalance is likely not there as the theory presented suggests. Asperger Syndrome (finally proved to belong in ASD) and all other variants of Autism Spectrum Disorder or “ASD” is the result of a condition that programs people to think and process logic in all its forms differently than the predominating population’s way of thinking. Think for a moment, how would you feel if for whatever reason your nose was missing from birth? You knew you were different, and everyone around you knew you were different as well. Most would reticule you for being so strange. This reticule would likely lead to frequent feelings of sadness. With Asperger Syndrome it’s a little different than this. I remember knowing I was different and when I displayed this difference publicly I was subjected to many unpleasant things such as rejection, psychical bullying, and so forth. I did not see any reason behind my difference so I began to observe others and attempt to morph myself into the mold created before I was ever there. Of course I failed to fit this mold, at least for any extended period of time. This of course made me sad and my sadness was obvious, thus the doctors deemed it required I wear the label of “Depression”. What they could never understand is this was a tiny piece of a very large picture. I went with it; I tried to make myself fit the mold that the doctors, teachers, peers, and the whole world seemed to want me to be in. The sedation effect of these medications gave the illusion that it was the correct treatment for the correct problem. The same story applies to my social anxiety, panic attacks, and so forth. Panic attack disorder, really? A panic attack is generally the result of being overwhelmed with anxiety, how can there be an anxiety disorder and a panic attack disorder, wouldn’t the panic attack simply be a symptom from anxiety? Not everyone can express emotions such as anxiety in the traditionally thought of expressions. It took me years to realize I had anxiety constantly; I went through a period of time that I would vomit any time I was introduced into a social environment. A person with Asperger syndrome wants nothing more than to have friends and be accepted, because of this and the failure to achieve this in general it causes a person to experience extreme (seemingly unexplained) bouts of depression, with anxiety. However, when I finally found I was different for a reason and there was no way for me to change that, I have been able to stop trying to morph myself in the way you want and as a result I no longer suffer from the so called illnesses. I’m trying to make the point that depression and anxiety are a result of the way society rejects differences and attempts to “help” them change in a way they deem positive. Even with a disorder that would never benefit from medication such as one in the ASD, you still attempt to change them as if they are nothing more than a defect by using cognitive therapy among other forms. I am not saying therapy is a bad idea, I am saying it needs to be viewed differently. Stop trying to fix everything and start trying to throw your comfort out of the window and allow different people to be different. The only thing I see as negative about my condition is how I am treated because of it. I am not broken you ****ing idiots, I work better than you do in many ways, and it just so happens that I work differently. Instead of pumping drugs into me and forcing unwanted change to people who are different, just go away and let us do things our way. It is likely that many of our ways are better if you define it with the rules of logic. I have still failed to present all the evidence in the way I wanted to. This would in no way qualify as a scientific hypothesis but I know I am right. I have concrete evidence in my data stores. The idea of chemical imbalance appears to be the product of a person suffering from mental retardation. I know you can’t help it, but what’s worse is that because of our society’s hierarchy, greed, and media outlets willingness to present anything in a way that benefits the highest bidder as “truth” to the population; the rest of the world seems to believe this theory with zero concrete facts to support it the indefinite truth. I relate this to an analogy in my head such as I see so many people who are trapped under this spell. Wake up, I will kiss you all if that means you will all regain your senses and think for yourself. The “normals” are all sheep’s, they follow ideas believed as correct from previous generations. They see other’s break away and carve their own ideas and this frightens them. They can’t make sense of the world unless it is the world they are comfortable with and have known forever, yet they ask so many of us to leave our world to live in theirs. I will not, you can either accept my ability to view things differently or you can stay the **** out of my way. I am done trying to make myself something you’re more comfortable with, this is my world now as well and you’re just going to have to find a way to accept it.

 

[thinkkaos]

ALthough in all likelihood this reply will not be seen as this thread is over a year old, however I am posting this for personal gain, and to attempt to explore my own learning and this prompts a placebo-like substite for explaining to a "real life person". I do think you are normal if the standard fro normality included aspergers. That is, if everyones had been born and began to subsequently interact wiith the world in the same way that you do, than according to science there would be nothing wrong with you. If your behavior is truly maladaptive and cases you anxiety, than you can alter that behavior in a unique method of preocessing so as to be more conducive to proper functioning. In yourcase, I belive you have fallen into the trap of generalising a reaction to you as the standard response to an alternative worldly paradigm. The statistically backed diagnosis of any disorder is based on a constellation of characterictics. If those charactistics repeat themselves, we recognise this as an identical occurence. With aspergers, it is simpy a nuerological and what some analysts would rightyl conclude, difference. We are all physiologically and psychologically endowed with unique makeups. Which are incrnate in an infinite amount of different configuratons. However, if someone doesnt accept me, then I personally struggle as well to fit the "mold" that they expect from me is ras the part that they want me to step into is so different from what I am capable of. I dont think that we AS statistics are lone in being subjected to a pathologic approach from the medical and similiar institutions. I was placed in special education because I was sleeping involuntarily depsite the amount of effort I expended to keep my head up during class. I was taking anti depressanrs whixh I still feel may be caryying potential repercussions on my body and mind. However, my input was not considered as viable and was dissmissed as false. Instead the larger behaviorall conceptualisations were considered, such as ADD. these are abstractions, if indeed more than behaviors being exhibited due to external influence.and if I did want torecreate a "normal" set of functional behaviors I dont think I would be able to. The statistics are just near impossible to recreate, you would have to utilie a full undertanding and probably experience of what it is you are trying to do in the first place. I dont think anyone should "treat: themselves. treatment being synonymous with personal efforts and actions to transmute behaviors personally percieved as negative in some form. The form should be determined my you.