Question About Eye Contact - Do Some Aspies Make Eye Contact in Early Childhood

[mrzippy55]

Is it possible for a young child to make some eye contact with family and to smile and recognize people and still have Asperger's?

I don't remember my early childhood. In some pictures of myself age 0-4 I am looking into the camera or at another person somewhere near the camera. My mother wrote in my baby book that I smiled early and recognized people.
By the time I was out of grade school I am aware of having difficulty making eye contact. As an adult I learned how and to some degree when to make eye contact although I still find it easier to talk to people if I am not reminded they are there by looking at them.

I am sorting through self diagnosis. I identify with most symptoms. The eye contact thing makes me wonder.

Background
I'm 62 years old. Only recently learned details of Asperger's. I identify with almost all of the symptoms. I see the same symptoms in a sibling and my own child.
I was lucky in finding the right job and right partner in early adulthood and although having much difficulty and always feeling like a freak that didn't fit in, I have had some success in life. For this reason I don't think a professional would ever diagnose me as ASD.


AQ - 37
RAADS-R - 142
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 110 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 90 of 200

 

[Suzanne]

Hi and welcome and me too is self diagnosed. Those on here who are professionally diagnosed, show me that I do not need to be professionally diagnosed lol

As for your question: I cannot really say, because it was only sort of in my 20's when I discovered that I found eye contact to be very difficult and for me, always found my sunglasses to be my best friend.

I have improved greatly since finding out about aspergers, but recently, seem to have made a back slide and have to force myself to keep eye contact.

 

[Naturalist]

I find that I have always had better eye contact with people I know very well. That has never meant that it was really natural, or comfortable, just that it was there.

Outside my home, though, I always got reproached for not looking up at people. And occasionally, for staring. So in my case, the balance / timing was always off.

 

[Adora]

As far as I can remember I have struggled with eye contact and have a had a few people say to me to look them in the eye while they talk,my eye contact is a bit better with my husband but it's always been a struggle to keep eye contact with people.

 

[Progster]

I look in people's direction when I'm talking to them, and I make intermittent eye contact, both now ans in childhood. My main difficulty is in maintaining it - I tend to glance at the person and then look away. My answer would be that the eye contact doesn't have to be absent, but it can also be atypical, or involuntary - ie, one makes eye contact because one has been told that it's rude not to do so, and not because it comes naturally. It's about quality rather than quantity.

 

[clg114]

It does not bother me to make eye contact, I just do not do it unless I think about it. When someone is talking to me, I look them in the eye so that they do not think that I am not listening to them. NTs are funny that way.

 

[wanderer03]

I look in people's direction when I'm talking to them, and I make intermittent eye contact, both now ans in childhood. My main difficulty is in maintaining it - I tend to glance at the person and then look away. My answer would be that the eye contact doesn't have to be absent, but it can also be atypical, or involuntary - ie, one makes eye contact because one has been told that it's rude not to do so, and not because it comes naturally. It's about quality rather than quantity.

I have to constantly remind myself to make eye contact. For me, it isn't involuntary.

 

[Progster]

I have to constantly remind myself to make eye contact. For me, it isn't involuntary.

Yes, sorry, that is actually what I meant to say - that it is forced, a conscious effort.

 

[Myway]

Eye contact for me is extremely hard. I can't do it unless I prompt myself to. Such a sad thing.

 

[wanderer03]

Eye contact for me is extremely hard. I can't do it unless I prompt myself to. Such a sad thing.

It isn't sad. It just is ....

 

[mrzippy55]

Thanks to all for the feedback.
30 years in a corporate job forced me to learn to make eye contact but when I am looking directly at someone I'm not listening to them very well. If I am talking I only make a half second contact when I am making an important point.
I don't remember ever getting negative feed back but by high school I knew and felt shame about it.
My mother kept a journal in a baby book and it sounds like she saw nothing unusual. It makes me wonder if it is possible for there to be a delay in the development of this issue.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Is it possible for a young child to make some eye contact with family and to smile and recognize people and still have Asperger's?

I don't remember my early childhood. In some pictures of myself age 0-4 I am looking into the camera or at another person somewhere near the camera. My mother wrote in my baby book that I smiled early and recognized people.
By the time I was out of grade school I am aware of having difficulty making eye contact. As an adult I learned how and to some degree when to make eye contact although I still find it easier to talk to people if I am not reminded they are there by looking at them.

I am sorting through self diagnosis. I identify with most symptoms. The eye contact thing makes me wonder.

Background
I'm 62 years old. Only recently learned details of Asperger's. I identify with almost all of the symptoms. I see the same symptoms in a sibling and my own child.
I was lucky in finding the right job and right partner in early adulthood and although having much difficulty and always feeling like a freak that didn't fit in, I have had some success in life. For this reason I don't think a professional would ever diagnose me as ASD.


AQ - 37
RAADS-R - 142
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 110 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 90 of 200

I cared for a one year old child in a daycare, who I was pretty sure had Aspergers. He made direct, intense, eye contact. More so than any of the other kids that age. (One year olds usually don't make eye contact). He is four, now, and as he's gotten older, he's lost that direct eye contact-although I don't notice a difference between him and other four year olds in this, as most of them don't often make eye contact either.

What is eye contact is something that NTs learn only as they grow older?

 

[clg114]

I cared for a one year old child in a daycare, who I was pretty sure had Aspergers. He made direct, intense, eye contact. More so than any of the other kids that age. (One year olds usually don't make eye contact). He is four, now, and as he's gotten older, he's lost that direct eye contact-although I don't notice a difference between him and other four year olds in this, as most of them don't often make eye contact either.

What is eye contact is something that NTs learn only as they grow older?

I think that, for NTs, eye contact is social thing. Just one of the many non-verbal forms of communication that I miss.

 

[wanderer03]

I think that, for NTs, eye contact is social thing. Just one of the many non-verbal forms of communication that I miss.

It's interesting how with a lot of other animals that eye contact can be a threat or an indication of impending fight.

 

[Ste11aeres]

My mother kept a journal in a baby book and it sounds like she saw nothing unusual. It makes me wonder if it is possible for there to be a delay in the development of this issue.

I definitely think so.

 

[RidingDutchman]

I used to get forced to make y contact by parents and others, so I got into the habit of looking at the bridge of ones nose and at lips as they talk, or at some imaginary place behind peoples heads.

People will think you make eye contact while you don't really make any. When I get more stress (like during a party) i start to look at other objects more and more

 

[Myway]

I used to get forced to make y contact by parents and others, so I got into the habit of looking at the bridge of ones nose and at lips as they talk, or at some imaginary place behind peoples heads.

People will think you make eye contact while you don't really make any. When I get more stress (like during a party) i start to look at other objects more and more

I do that a lot. I think for me it is a matter of stress and social anxiety. I have to do some lip reading because of my hearing, so I like to look at people's lips as well. It makes more sense. Yes, people will think you are making eye contact. Let them think that. There is nothing wrong with that.

 

[Lena_C]

As I was a kid(0-12 y.o), I do make eye contact but never last long, maybe just a second then gone.
When I entered my teen age (critical period!13-16 y.o), I seldom make eye contact so everybody around me, especially my mother, scold me and force me to make eye contact, although it seems never success.
It takes time.
Around 17-18 y.o, I try to make eye contact with people while we're communicating, but some of them ask me to stop because they feel like I'm staring at them...
Now, I'm 23, nobody complain my eye contact issue so they don't think I'm on the spectrum.