Question: Am I too sensitive?

[Caprine_Caper]

I've been struggling with some heavy, heavy things for about six years now(suicidal thoughts, self harm) and have been seeking therapy for about one year.

To sum up the story as much as I can; I've been hospitalized twice and my new therapist has been making my mental health worse which makes me worry I'll end up in the ER for a third time. I've also been told it "Gets worse before it gets better" so the whole situation is confusing on whether I should seek a better therapist or stick it out. Everything with her was generally fine and she seemed to listen during the initial talk therapy but when it came to giving advice it all began to go downhill...

During episodes of extreme stress, her recommendation was to stick my face into a bowl of ice water to shock myself out of it. It shocked me alright and sent me straight into a meltdown too. Safe to say I never did that again! Finally, I was coaxed into doing a relaxation session with her that involved her saying positive things during a meditation before our time was up. The results had me sobbing in her office after she told me "you're not you're autism" and then having multiple panic attacks throughout two days after. I honestly feel personally attacked by this phrase. Autism is something I was born with that affects almost every aspect of my life and DEFINITELY can't be wished away with a little mantra. Least if it was that easy I would never need to seek out therapy! I've also been diagnosed since I was a child so there's no way she could think I was some hypochondriac.

For further clarifications, I sought out a therapist with the goal of managing panic attacks and anxiety, not trying to be cured of ASD which is the believed reason that caused the two-day-pain-train. Why else would she do that unless she was trying to make me less autistic so her advice would work better? So, this leaves the main question... am I looking too deep into things or am I justified in being so upset?

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

It sounds like you're therapists approach is completely wrong for you. That's fine, it can take a while to find the right match, especially when you have autism. Try and transfer to another therapist, maybe one who has experience with ASD people.

However, I think you might be misreading her intention with the "you are not you're autism" mantra. I doubt she was trying to make you less autistic, probably more like she was aiming to help you separate your understanding of yourself or your mental illness from your diagnosis, or something along those lines.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I honestly feel personally attacked by this phrase. Autism is something I was born with that affects almost every aspect of my life and DEFINITELY can't be wished away with a little mantra.

You are not your thoughts.
How does that phrase work?

You do not need to be affected by someone else's phrase or thoughts .
How about that one?
The reality is you are, as most people are.

There is a journey to take where you are less affected by the thoughts.
You need to find methods that work for you as an individual.
You have the ultimate choice to form those habits.

Finding the right therapist is part of it.
Rejecting what a therapist says is also taking more responsibility for yourself.
A long journey but worthwhile.

For me, I would journal,make notes and gradually become more aware of your patterns.
Then it's looking into methods to accept your thoughts but not act on them.

 

[Sarah S]

"Caprine_Caper, post: 596033, member: 21891"]"I've been struggling with some heavy, heavy things for about six years now(suicidal thoughts, self harm) and have been seeking therapy for about one year."

First WARM welkome to the forums , Oh dear that sounds NOT good

"To sum up the story as much as I can; I've been hospitalized twice and my new therapist has been making my mental health worse which makes me worry I'll end up in the ER for a third time."

sounds to me you need to ask for another therapist dear

"I've also been told it "Gets worse before it gets better" so the whole situation is confusing on whether I should seek a better therapist or stick it out."

Okey thats just plain BS OF COURSE things DONT need to get worse before they better, SEEK a new therapist as its clear to me this one isent worth DIDDLY

"Everything with her was generally fine and she seemed to listen during the initial talk therapy but when it came to giving advice it all began to go downhill..."

NOT surprised all this therapist seems to be interested in is the money

"During episodes of extreme stress, her recommendation was to stick my face into a bowl of ice water to shock myself out of it. It shocked me alright and sent me straight into a meltdown too. Safe to say I never did that again!"

Please DONT do that EVER again and how a therapist can even suggest sush a thing is beyond me to be honest (gasp )

"Finally, I was coaxed into doing a relaxation session with her that involved her saying positive things during a meditation before our time was up. The results had me sobbing in her office after she told me "you're not your autism" and then having multiple panic attacks throughout two days after."

Well obviously that particular method was NOT a good one either

"I honestly feel personally attacked by this phrase. Autism is something I was born with that affects almost every aspect of my life and DEFINITELY can't be wished away with a little mantra."

I agree and again its clear to me you need to look for another therapist preferably someone that actually KNOWS something about this diagnose

"Least if it was that easy I would never need to seek out therapy! I've also been diagnosed since I was a child so there's no way she could think I was some hypochondriac."

I understand for what its worth i DONT dought youre diagnose dear and neither will anyone in here (HUG )

"For further clarifications, I sought out a therapist with the goal of managing panic attacks and anxiety, not trying to be cured of ASD which is the believed reason that caused the two-day-pain-train. Why else would she do that unless she was trying to make me less autistic so her advice would work better?"

The sad truth is thee IS NO cure for this diagnose, ALL we can do is to try to find ways of dealing with our problems

"So, this leaves the main question... am I looking too deep into things or am I justified in being so upset?"

Simple answer on this is NO youre not looking to deep & its natural to whant to understand youre problems and diagnose and do everything you can to try to find a way to cope and adapt to this my dear (ive fought against ALL my diagnosis pretty mush all my life and its only in recent years i finally managed to understand them and thats on my own and not even the so called professionals could give the the answer of those questions that i sought answer too ALL this years from 4 (got my MBD diagnose then ) and up, later ADHD then ASD when i was 30 (ive obviously had ALL my diagnosis since birth but they werent diagnosed until later) .And in NO way should you accept having to feel this way.

 

[Suzanne]

On the contrary, your therapist should retrain and listen this time!!!!!

The problem is and how I see it, is that we are too discerning and therapists get caught out with this and they are the ones who turn to being too sensitive, because they cannot control us.

It seems you have been put in a mental hospital, due to "professional" treatment, rather than because you are severally mentally ill.

I went to see an expert in autism and he is highly sought out. When I got my diagnosis, all he did was copy his scruffy piece of paper that shows I am moderate to severe and put his stamp on and gave me the copy and that, is my evidence.

I was expecting an official document to arrive, but nothing has and when I mentioned this to my husband, he saw nothing out of the ordinary with me getting this scruffy copy!

It is hard being surrounded by people who think differently to us and can drive us nuts.

 

[Caprine_Caper]

Thanks to everyone for their comments so far! Not even a half hour and there's already tons of amazing advice and insight.

After some rethinking, it is more likely that the therapist was coming in with some good intentions and there was a couple of misunderstandings, also I'm likely not going to stick it out and take the safer route of finding a therapist that's more compatible and has some experience with ASD like everyone is suggested.

P.S. Thanks for the warm welcome and I will start keeping a journal!

 

[Sarah S]

Glad if i can somehow been at help dear & if theres anything you feel i might be able to help with (check my profile and deside for youre self ) im only a Pm away

 

[Pats]

If I had a therapist tell me to stick my face in a bowl of ice water, I'd think she was a witch doctor and wouldn't have gone back. Sounds like she's trying her own techniques on you to see if it changes you. You're not a guinea pig to test things out on, you're a person. Find somewhere else.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

If I had a therapist tell me to stick my face in a bowl of ice water, I'd think she was a witch doctor and wouldn't have gone back.

A witch doctor would create a little figure of you and throw it into water.

At random times of the day you would suddenly find yourself soaking wet.

 

[BraidedPony]

I’m surprised she didn’t sell you the special magical ice to use!
Don’t people get Valiums anymore? It works within 20 minutes and it’s affordable.
So much suffering....

 

[Caprine_Caper]

If I had a therapist tell me to stick my face in a bowl of ice water, I'd think she was a witch doctor and wouldn't have gone back. Sounds like she's trying her own techniques on you to see if it changes you. You're not a guinea pig to test things out on, you're a person. Find somewhere else.

There is another side to the story I left out to make the post shorter! By the various things in her office, she seems to be into new age spiritualism and is an avid follower of some dude called Dr. Joe Dispenza. I found him too difficult to understand so I didn't really look too far into his youtube channel but looking at his online shop he gives off that same new-age-spirit-stuff vibe as well. Elaborating on the "vibe" I'm talking about, the items I found in his shop were a sleeping mask with an eye of Horus on it and art on a book cover that features a chakra chart.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

There is another side to the story I left out to make the post shorter! By the various things in her office, she seems to be into new age spiritualism and is an avid follower of some dude called Dr. Joe Dispenza. I found him too difficult to understand so I didn't really look too far into his youtube channel but looking at his online shop he gives off that same new-age-spirit-stuff vibe as well. Elaborating on the "vibe" I'm talking about, the items I found in his shop were a sleeping mask with an eye of Horus on it and art on a book cover that features a chakra chart.

Run

 

[rollerskate]

Autistic or not, your therapist should feel like they are on YOUR SIDE. For example, my therapist visits - she asks about what's been going on in my life and how I've been doing, like any normal conversation. I might hint at an issue. She might gently prod me to open up more about this issue. Every inch of the way (I will admit I have trust issues and this is probably part of what she's working on with me), she gives me praise and encouragement for opening up to her. She accepts what I'm saying, and validates my experiences. She also praises/encourages any self-work I've done on those issues. She then might tell me to keep up the good work, or might gently suggest some other tactics. They are purely suggestions... and I'm free to question them as much as I want to determine whether or not they are viable for me to use. The entire focus isn't on diagnosis at all. It's on finding what works for me personally and individually to function well. If that's living alone like a recluse surrounded by cats and books... that's a-ok. But if I'm living like that, and I have issues with loneliness, we will start tackling ways to change that - TOGETHER. She is careful not to do/say things that will cause me to shut down or get me upset... that is completely unproductive for both of us. The idea is to instigate change, and that change cannot happen if we are at odds with each other. A lot of my therapy also includes her saying things like, "you're normal for what you've been through." And because she is so easy to talk to, and helps so much, I am quite eager to go back to see her every visit. She makes me feel empowered... and like it is perfectly okay to be me... and like I do have the inner tools I need to function well.

That being said... your therapist has a point, but she's using the wrong approach with it, methinks. I think she's trying to get you to stop focusing on your diagnosis so much and start focusing on your individuality. However, there are more positive and empowering ways she could say this besides just being like, "you're not your autism." She could say things like, "you are so much MORE than your autism." Additionally... another unhealthy thing I can identify in your description is the denial of emotions through shock therapy (that's what sticking your face in a bowl of ice water is doing - it's a distraction from the issue, as opposed to actually working on self-soothing and coping skills).

This style of therapy she's providing may work for some people. But obviously... from your description... it's not working for YOU, and YOU are what's important to YOU. You sound like you may be pretty sensitive, like me, and THAT IS OK. It's not a negative trait, but it does require we learn different coping mechanisms than what may work for other people. It's important that your therapist recognize this and be able to adapt their therapy techniques accordingly... which this therapist seems unable to do for you.

Please, hon. You are not wrong for not being able to cope with this therapy. If anyone is in the wrong here, it's the therapist for not properly assessing your needs and adjusting to fit them. Don't beat yourself up about it. Personally, it's taken me years to find a therapist that could properly read me well enough to work with me... and to my understanding, that's not unusual at all for anyone, autistic or not.

P.S. You need someone with a MASTERS in PSYCHOLOGY to do therapy. There's been this horrible trend lately in states allowing social workers and bachelors students to do counseling. They may do well with basic counseling like marriage issues, but when it comes to issues like autism, they simply are not qualified enough to work it.

 

[Sarah S]

As the others said i repeat my former original statement Time to find a new therapist ASAP

 

[BraidedPony]

He dispenza de B.S.....

 

[Pats]

There is another side to the story I left out to make the post shorter! By the various things in her office, she seems to be into new age spiritualism and is an avid follower of some dude called Dr. Joe Dispenza. I found him too difficult to understand so I didn't really look too far into his youtube channel but looking at his online shop he gives off that same new-age-spirit-stuff vibe as well. Elaborating on the "vibe" I'm talking about, the items I found in his shop were a sleeping mask with an eye of Horus on it and art on a book cover that features a chakra chart.

I stay by my original answer. Does not sound like somewhere I'd want to go.

 

[Fino]

You are not too sensitive, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

 

[some/aspies/need/hugs/13]

With me I have found I don't do well with most therapists and it is because a lot of them don't understand my Asperger's. Different people need different therapists and therapy. The best therapists I have found tend to adapt to you and your needs. Some days I may need a bit of a shove towards my goal, while others I may need them to be gentle and reassuring about what is going on. And it sounds to me like you need a new therapist. Maybe try finding one who has experience and training for patients with autism. Also from what it sounds like you might benefit from a gentle and reassuring therapist. Personally I always try to find therapists that are very understanding also I find with my anxiety that I always try to have at least two people I can talk to about what is going on and if need be get help from them decompressing. Decompressing is what I call the process of relaxing after a stressful event or situation. I usually decompress through a process where first I talk with a friend or family member about the situation in general describing everything that happened in detail, then how each thing made me feel, then I talk about why I felt the way I did and how the situation could have been avoided or made better, ideally they give you feedback through this process and show sympathy and understanding.

 

[Isadoorian]

not trying to be cured of ASD which is the believed reason that caused the two-day-pain-train.

This is redundant as their is no such thing as a "cure for autism"; if your Therapist thinks there is, they're wholly misinformed or they follow the Autism $peaks movement which is in reality Against Autism rather than For.

 

[Ginseng]

she seems to be into new age spiritualism and is an avid follower of some dude called Dr. Joe Dispenza.

Yes, RUN!!! Glad you are awake enough to pick up on that. That is not good stuff.