Quitting job bc of feeling angry all the time

[AprilR]

So i have a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders rn, and recently my employer fired the only coworker i rely on. There is no one to help me. I started to work on weekends too bc i can't meet deadlines otherwise. I am at the position that even a nt would be burntout and i am BEYOND burntout.

Also the other coworkers are constantly chatting about other things and doing other things which makes me feel jealous and furious. I started to hate them and at the same time i noticed i am constantly feeling furious and jealous of how other people have it so easy. I started to hate the world and feel constantly angry. I am saying i literally talk and curse to myself on the street.

This does not seem like a healthy mindset so i am thinking of quitting.

But at the same time this job is the only one that made me learn my profession and my employer is very nice and never gets angry at me. He trusts me a lot and he is relying on mostly me in the office. I don't want to let him down, and lose a good reference for my career but i dont want to feel angry all the time either.

Since he fired my only coworker that i rely on, it would trouble him for me to quit now. But i REALLY cant go on like this any more bc i NEED time to myself.

When do you think would be the right time to quit?

 

[Masked Man]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, feeling stressed and burned out is not ever a nice feeling.

Would you feel comfortable in discussing this with your supervisor? Do you think it would be possible for him to delegate some of your responsibilities to your co-workers to lighten your load?

I don't know what your profession is, so this may not apply to you, but with the job market (at least in the US) is not good right now, and I would hesitate to just leave a job without first having another one lined up.

Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[AprilR]

There is no one to help me, apart from 1 person and she is in another department so to speak.

I get paid very little and dont really need that money, i am also p. Sure i can find a better job in my profession easil

Thank you, i hope i can quit as soon as possible

 

[Judge]

When do you think would be the right time to quit?

As I mentioned in another post, when you've made a plan to exit, and have sufficient resources to pursue another line of work.

Best to prepare rather than abruptly quit. Something I've done myself once or twice...and it's not the best way to handle such a scenario short of total desperation.

 

[Rodafina]

I agree that the best time to leave work is when you are secure in your next step, but it sounds like you are there @AprilR.

It’s been such a long time that work has been making you severely unhappy, maybe now is the right time. You should be able to preserve that good reference you are wanting by just leaving with enough notice. You’ve already worked for a good reference and now maybe, it is time to use it. Even though your employer has been good to you, it is not upon you to take care of them. It is upon you to take care of yourself. Just leave in a professional manner and you should be fine, right?

 

[AprilR]

I am in no condition to start another job right now. I can barely function to make dinner, eat and do daily tasks on weekends.

I will give myself some time to rest when i quit and not look for another job right away.

My issue is, there is no one in the office right now that i can pass my workload to. That is why i can't quit right now, but that should be the employers problem, not mine

 

[Rodafina]

My issue is, there is no one in the office right now that i can pass my workload to. That is why i can't quit right now, but that should be the employers problem, not mine

Exactly! It would be best if you give the customary notice. Here in the United States it is two weeks.

 

[AprilR]

Exactly! It would be best if you give the customary notice. Here in the United States it is two weeks.

Thank you. However i fear even in 4 weeks it won't be enough for someone new to learn the ropes. Actually i am not even sure my employer will hire someone new and this possibility is the most horrifying. I wish he would hire someone new as soon as possible so i can quit.

This job has become like a shackle in my neck that prevents me from enjoying life. It did little for socialization also, despite my best efforts i did not make any friends

 

[Judge]

Thank you. However i fear even in 4 weeks it won't be enough for someone new to learn the ropes.

Part of leaving is not to look back. In other words once you leave, whatever your job entailed is no longer your problem.

Even when like myself, I had one employer for nearly 20 years. I made a similar decision, being unable to stand the job any more for a variety of reasons. Especially given they were paring down resources, laying people off and forcing us to take up the slack. The longer I remained, the worse it got.

You owe them nothing. You have no responsibility for whether or not your replacement is up to the task or not. No differently than whomever had your job before you. Giving them proper notice is about all that is realistically expected, from one former employee to the next one. Strictly business.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Thank you. However i fear even in 4 weeks it won't be enough for someone new to learn the ropes. Actually i am not even sure my employer will hire someone new and this possibility is the most horrifying. I wish he would hire someone new as soon as possible so i can quit.

This job has become like a shackle in my neck that prevents me from enjoying life. It did little for socialization also, despite my best efforts i did not make any friends

You do not live to work but rather work to live, so take your time and start put the pieces in place to really live.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Rule #1 when it comes to quitting a job: Only do it when you have another one lined up.

I don't know your situation, but I am curious as to why you are letting feelings about other people affect you? Disconnect. You're at work to perform, not socialize. Focus. I never show any interest in what my co-workers are doing in their lives. I don't care.

I've never been unemployed, like since I was 9 years old, no joke. The thought of being without employment or a regular paycheck would put me into an absolute anxiety attack. I've put up with a lot of crap in my day, a lot, and in my job, there's lives on the line, literally. I swim in chaos, unpredictability, and emergency situations. You just get in your work mode, roll with the punches, and knock it out. There are days where I say to myself, "I can put up with anything for 12hrs. I've always clocked out. I've always made it home to relax. If there is anyone who can swim in $#!^, it's me."

 

[undertheradar]

When I got fired two years ago... It was the best thing that ever happened to me from an emotional standpoint... I am much more centered now

 

[blitzkrieg]

So i have a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders rn, and recently my employer fired the only coworker i rely on. There is no one to help me. I started to work on weekends too bc i can't meet deadlines otherwise. I am at the position that even a nt would be burntout and i am BEYOND burntout.

Also the other coworkers are constantly chatting about other things and doing other things which makes me feel jealous and furious. I started to hate them and at the same time i noticed i am constantly feeling furious and jealous of how other people have it so easy. I started to hate the world and feel constantly angry. I am saying i literally talk and curse to myself on the street.

This does not seem like a healthy mindset so i am thinking of quitting.

But at the same time this job is the only one that made me learn my profession and my employer is very nice and never gets angry at me. He trusts me a lot and he is relying on mostly me in the office. I don't want to let him down, and lose a good reference for my career but i dont want to feel angry all the time either.

Since he fired my only coworker that i rely on, it would trouble him for me to quit now. But i REALLY cant go on like this any more bc i NEED time to myself.

When do you think would be the right time to quit?

Hi AprilR,

If you are burnt out and cannot do the job anymore without your mental health deteriorating, then it sounds like your best bet is to quit.

If you can afford it, you should take a break from work altogether to recover from burn out, or perhaps if you can take sick leave, do that instead, before possibly quitting.

Remember businesses & corporation mostly don't give a rats ass about your health unless they can see poor health is affecting your work, in which case they will usually punish you! Which is an ineffective solution usually.

Quit asap if you need to & can afford it, in summary.

 

[Au Naturel]

There is no one to help me, apart from 1 person and she is in another department so to speak.

I get paid very little and dont really need that money, i am also p. Sure i can find a better job in my profession easil

Thank you, i hope i can quit as soon as possible

Do not quit this job until you have the next one ready to go. At least in the US you don't get unemployment if you quit. The next employer might balk at hiring you if you up and quit but most will happily poach someone good who is actively employed. Go figure.

 

[Miska]

If you decide to quit before having another job lined up (which I do not recommend) state that you are quitting in order to take a leave of absence for personal reasons.

Reiterate that while you are grateful to the organization, you are unable to give a transition period due to "personal circumstances". I have done this before, and it has not caused issues.

When applying for a new job, I simply state that I had a family situation that demanded my complete attention and that the situation has been entirely rectified (ie my mental health was taken care of) and it caused no issues.

 

[Aspychata]

Hey April. It sounds like you are suffering guilt feelings. Instead, how about telling your employer, you need to hire an assistant? Why was your assistant let go? You can't be expected to do everything. Just say you need x-amount of hours for filing, research, phone apps, etc.

 

[VictorR]

I understand that you feel under pressure to hit certain production goals, but you're actually in a strong leverage position in that if you walk out, there is literally no one there to pick up the work.

As such, if you need to take some time off, or decline working overtime, the employer isn't in a position to be upset at you, and if anything, you respecting your own boundaries and needs would put more pressure on them to bring in additional help.

Sometimes bosses don't hire (extra) help if they feel that they have someone who is going to accept extra work. That's fine if you want to do it and are okay with doing it, but as noted, not okay if you don't want it / it's hurting your health.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Just before I Retired the cumulative changes. Made to the business model. Specialize in more prints as it was more lucrative. The number inks they me to make expected tripled unfortunately the changes I had them make caused this Even making the inks very quickly keeping a 24 hour a day operation supplied was taxing. Then stroke 10 days prior to retirement, at least I was on vacation 5 weeks off. To be fair I suspect the stroke was caused by covid. I'M a strong guy inks are denser than water iron oxide and other pigments in 6 gal pails heavy. make reduce measure tint. Never got any help.

 

[AprilR]

Just yesterday my employer praised me in front of all the coworkers and asked the others to help me more. Now i am so torn, it seems like he was aware of the pressure i am under

 

[Rodafina]

Just yesterday my employer praised me in front of all the coworkers and asked the others to help me more. Now i am so torn, it seems like he was aware of the pressure i am under

Awareness and praise can be wonderful, but really only if it leads to change. I’m happy that your work was acknowledged, but I can also see how this public praise would add to your feelings of guilt over leaving.

Your feelings of wanting to leave have been consistent for a long time. Consider what it would take for real change to happen for you at work.