Rant

[richbebo]

Hi, this isn't my normal optimistic post and it might be a little blunt but hey we all get a be in our bonnet time to time.
Normaly these days i have been just living with my dad with the occasional visit from my step brother and i like this, we share the same interests mostly so we normally just kick back and play some cod and i have no problems not being able to do my usuall stuff which is cool its how i like it and sometimes we even go down the pub with his mates which also is great. But some people i find it being an great effort to be around, like for instance the last few days i have had more brothers around both of them with there girlfriends me with no-one and plus my youngest brother of 17 has brought his 6 week old baby which is cool cause i wanted to see my new nephew, but i cant handle so many people at once, i feel like my home is being invaded, i get no pleasure out of just chatting with everyone about recent events. I just sit there stimming being quite praying for some privacy, i even took a shower just to get away. when i finnaly get some piece and quiet i can finnaly relax and do what i want. The worst thing is i have had to swap where i sleep temporarily and i hate that. i hate sleeping somewere else, i dont feel right if i dont go to bed in exactly the same way every night. Not to mention my brother has been stickin it to his gf in my bed and leaving there ****in jonies around with complete disrespect to me and they dont give a **** what i think. I get so little respect from my family its unbelievable, they act so smug because they have had girlfrinds for a long time and i'm the one who is alone they treat me like a freak, i'm unemployed so thats why i'm still stuck living with my dad, its not like i havent had job interviews its just that they are so hard because of my Aspergers. Its not nice knowing your younger brothers are doing better than you and talk down to you, ife isn't fair. Anyway i have loads of people round tonight aswell and theres going to be bodies everywere most of which think i'm a freak and its gonna be more hell especially if i cant just loosen up with booze cause i dont have any . I'd love it if someone could relate to this but i'm probably just being selfish, a baby or just a grumpy old man.

 

[umbrellabeach]

I'm having the same issues. I haven't had to give up my bedroom, but my sister and nephew are staying with us for six months and the kid is unbearable - screams a lot and wanders around without settling down unless I'm on the computer; then he settles down by me so he can hover over and pester me. No privacy at all, sometimes not even if I go to my room.
So yeah... I know how you feel. I'm sorry.

 

[richbebo]

I'm having the same issues. I haven't had to give up my bedroom, but my sister and nephew are staying with us for six months and the kid is unbearable - screams a lot and wanders around without settling down unless I'm on the computer; then he settles down by me so he can hover over and pester me. No privacy at all, sometimes not even if I go to my room.
So yeah... I know how you feel. I'm sorry.

Thanks, but its not really the kid that bothers me, he cant really being 6 months old. Its mainly the fact that i have to change my routine to suit them and now its going to be like this 2 nights a week. I let them bribe me with it once and now they have taken it upon themselves for it to be a weekly thing and i'm super anal about these things like for instance i want my room to be MY ROOM meaning my rules i dont want to be forced out of it two nights a week and given to someone else but at least i've got better recently, i used to have a go at people for leaving food or rubbish in my room, using my stuff without asking, walking freely into my room and turning the light on when i'm asleep, everyone using my room as a chillout spot whilst doing all of the above. All of these things make me really angry inside because i see it as complete disrespect to me(maybe this is because i feel i have such a lack of control over things that it manifests in my possesions). In the end i just keep my issues to myself and try not to make a big deal of it even though i'm grinding my teeth really. I feel alot of the time like my very existance is insignificant to other people and i let people walk all over me which i hate myself for all because i've spent my whole life just trying to be in the "It" crowd and getting possitive attention from others that its now rendered me to afraid to stand up to annyone or to self-concious to stand out in anyway. Also no one uderstands my Aspergers and even when i tell them about it they dont give a crap enough to listen and still take the piss out of the lack of a social life or girlfriend i have. The worst thing is any little bit of confidence i gain about my looks,my popularity my skills is all snatched away by little sniggered comments from the typical egoistic bastards who seem to sail through life so easily and carelessly with all there mates. I'd like to think i'm not the only one on this forum who feels like this but i probably am.

 

[chinaberry]

You definately are NOT the only one! This is a bliddy Aspie forum, you weirdo
I've felt like that loads. I'm fine now. I don't care if I don't have a boyfriend and if I didn't have any friends I might feel the sting sometimes, but otherwise it doesn't bother me that much. But I definately know how you're feeling!
You seem popular! Your avatar a while back didn't show you out to be a lonely nerd

Ah, routine. How I need it and how I wish I could stuff it in the pond. Woke up about a hundred times(see how I can be all NT and figurative?? do you see it! it makes a rare appearance now and again...) in the night worried about starting school again. Finally I just stayed awake and Dwelled On It. Fine getting there and being there- just: oh no! I need to get up an hour earlier and figure out exactly when to leave again and oh why do I bother having a holiday...but I have survived. Yay.

 

[richbebo]

You definately are NOT the only one! This is a bliddy Aspie forum, you weirdo
I've felt like that loads. I'm fine now. I don't care if I don't have a boyfriend and if I didn't have any friends I might feel the sting sometimes, but otherwise it doesn't bother me that much. But I definately know how you're feeling!
You seem popular! Your avatar a while back didn't show you out to be a lonely nerd

Ah Chinaberry its posts like that that makes me so glad i joined this forum, and your right i'm not a lonely nerd lol cause luckily there are people out there who arent the typical stereotype twats and i can relax and be myself around, people who like nothing more but to joke around about the stupidest stuff and like me for who i am and some reason that just makes me come out of my shell and feel like a genuinly fun and interesting person to be around and the confidence boost i get from that is amazing, i hope everyone in this forum knows that not all people are jerks and there are nice understanding individulas out there. FYI the nerd in my name i didn't mean to give off the impression that i actually am a nerd, i just thought it was a cool fitting name cause aspies are born different and start off with no social skills and then hopefully learn and grow into something different, hope i didn't throw anyone by this lol :thumbsup:

 

[umbrellabeach]

It's not just the kid; it's basically everyone for me too; the kid is just the worst one. I feel a routine disturbance too, since my nephew gets a bath every evening and my showering time is in the evening. I feel like the two clash, even though there's plenty of time for both in an evening. My family also does mess up my stuff and move things from their proper place to where I can't find them. Sometimes it makes absolutely no sense why they bother with my stuff; I don't think it affects them much.
When you don't want people invading your room while you're sleeping or anything, can't you just lock your door, or put something heavy in front of it?

 

[richbebo]

When you don't want people invading your room while you're sleeping or anything, can't you just lock your door, or put something heavy in front of it?

Its a good idea but its not that simple i'm afraid, my house has lots of come and goers these days so i end up having to share my room and sometimes even worse having to swap rooms which bloody annoyes me.