Hey guys it said dont be nervous so ill try to explain what i feel because im looking for help and every person that i ask they give me the same runaround. I was diagnosed with high functioning autism a while ago, i have bad anxiety. At the moment im thinking of how i can put things into words i just feel numb tired no emotion no drive i feel like an alien here i really do ive tried many medicines for major depressive disorder and they just make me feel like im trapped in my mind and i feel like a robot.
I just feel very numb so numb that i cant find excitement for anything i see all these people around me going about their lives like its nothing and thy have no problem with it. I suck at socializing because people just want to pick on me, it sucks being retarded im a good looking guy and people always percieve me wrong its like my mind doesnt match who i am.
I dont think im going to go anywhere in life i have a job that i get too anxious to go to i feel like im just going to end up dead or just a loser i know im just a loser i used to be good at socializing at making people laugh now since i got older (18) i cant find joy in anything. NOTHING WORKS!
I just feel like im doomed i always have experiences where i can tell what people are thinking about me thru their body language and it sucks because i just wish people knew how to be nice and understanding but it seems like everyone i talk gets bored and is ready to stop talking to me because i dont interest them. i really am tired of feeling blank and numb everything ive said is real because i feel it and i see how the way i feel affects others and i just wish i could be relaxed for once like a normal person.
I just sit in my room doing nothing its like everything i do i fail at im just a retard thats going nowhere and i know it because ive tried fitting into the world i dropped out of school i coudnt take the pressure there it seems like im a dead end now. Im just putting this out here maybe you guys can help but like i said ive heard much of the same stuff its like everyhing i do does not change the way i think its just like im doing something or just running thru the motions. And when i type to i can tell that people will think im just going crazy but its not crazy i really have a heart but i dont have emotions.
I wrote this thinking that it probably wont help me at all but im bored and maybe someone can spark a new idea in my mind that will get me thinking.
I just feel very numb so numb that i cant find excitement for anything i see all these people around me going about their lives like its nothing and thy have no problem with it. I suck at socializing because people just want to pick on me, it sucks being retarded im a good looking guy and people always percieve me wrong its like my mind doesnt match who i am.
I dont think im going to go anywhere in life i have a job that i get too anxious to go to i feel like im just going to end up dead or just a loser i know im just a loser i used to be good at socializing at making people laugh now since i got older (18) i cant find joy in anything. NOTHING WORKS!
I just feel like im doomed i always have experiences where i can tell what people are thinking about me thru their body language and it sucks because i just wish people knew how to be nice and understanding but it seems like everyone i talk gets bored and is ready to stop talking to me because i dont interest them. i really am tired of feeling blank and numb everything ive said is real because i feel it and i see how the way i feel affects others and i just wish i could be relaxed for once like a normal person.
I just sit in my room doing nothing its like everything i do i fail at im just a retard thats going nowhere and i know it because ive tried fitting into the world i dropped out of school i coudnt take the pressure there it seems like im a dead end now. Im just putting this out here maybe you guys can help but like i said ive heard much of the same stuff its like everyhing i do does not change the way i think its just like im doing something or just running thru the motions. And when i type to i can tell that people will think im just going crazy but its not crazy i really have a heart but i dont have emotions.
I wrote this thinking that it probably wont help me at all but im bored and maybe someone can spark a new idea in my mind that will get me thinking.
