Really annoyed, don't know whether to be angry and going round in circles

[OlLiE]

I love headphones, but some of them are just too expensive to justify buying.
That doesn't keep me from wanting to buy them.

I went to my favourite hifi shop the day after christmas, i go there because i trust them and they are authorised dealers for a brand i really wanted to be able to buy, so i check in with them every so often.

The brand i really liked was discontinuing a certain headphone to replace it with a newer model. The shop had already sold out, but also had a demo model, it only had little nicks on it on the outside but they offered me a 30% discount, which made it just affordable for me.

I've bought demo models before, they sound perfect and in the worst case there is some slight superficial damage, i can accept the imperfections because i've gotten a good deal on something i otherwise wouldn't be able to afford at all.

I was really happy with my purchase. Being the idiot i am i decided i wanted more tech specs on the headphones and within a second i found:
- another authorised retailer selling them new for the price i paid for the demo model
- the brand itself selling its refurbished bstock for the half the price i paid for the demo model

The guy at the store sold it to me for his purchase price +VAT, so i couldn't really expect more of a discount, and i can't really be angry with him. The brand itself said that it wasn't their problem, once its sold to their distributors they can do what they like.

So basically i'm screwed, but there's nothing i can do about it.

It's going round and round in my head and i can't get it out.
I've lashed out at the shop and at the brand through email.
Can i be angry at being screwed over by someone that was actually doing their best to help me get what i wanted but factually screwed me over in the process.

 

[Progster]

Similar things have happened to me, I reacted in a similar way and feeling angry about it is understandable. This can be an issue with impulsive buying because you don't do any research beforehand - though I understand that this was not the case here. I would just write the incident off as a learning experience - these things happen, it's done and unfortunately there's really nothing you can do, you got caught out this time but the next time you will know what to do, to research it some more before buying.

Edit: try to find things to take your mind off it - listen to some music or do an activity you enjoy for a couple of hours. The feelings of anger will subside and fade in time.

 

[OlLiE]

Similar things have happened to me, I reacted in a similar way and feeling angry about it is understandable. This can be an issue with impulsive buying because you don't do any research beforehand - though I understand that this was not the case here. I would just write the incident off as a learning experience - these things happen, it's done and unfortunately there's really nothing you can do, you got caught out this time but the next time you will know what to do, to research it some more before buying.

Edit: try to find things to take your mind off it - listen to some music or do an activity you enjoy for a couple of hours. The feelings of anger will subside and fade in time.

Thank you, i guess is was stupid in trusting an 'authorised retailer'.
I'm binary that way, either I do or I don't. I had bought there before and thought i could trust the guy. People buy at hifi stores because of trust and the amounts involved. Like I said, i guess i was stupid for trusting the guy.

 

[Gracey]

Can you remember how great you felt when you found out you could just about afford to buy the headphones from a supplier you've trusted in the past.

I honestly believe he made you the best deal he could when you were both stood in the shop.
(Retail premises have overheads, narrower profit margin)

Any further information gained AFTER you bought your headphones is neither here or there. You were still really pleased with your headphones at the moment you bought them.

Keep hold of that memory. And let that which you can't change, go.
Nobody is out there to personally rip you off.

 

[OlLiE]

Can you remember how great you felt when you found out you could just about afford to buy the headphones from a supplier you've trusted in the past.

I honestly believe he made you the best deal he could when you were both stood in the shop.
(Retail premises have overheads, narrower profit margin)

Any further information gained AFTER you bought your headphones is neither here or there. You were still really pleased with your headphones at the moment you bought them.

Keep hold of that memory. And let that which you can't change, go.
Nobody is out there to personally rip you off.

I agree, i happily pay more to buy in a store specifically because of trust. These guys haven't been replaced by the internet because they are expensive and because people need 'trust' to buy these products.

The problem is that the other guy also had a store and was also an authorised dealer. I wouldn't have cared about it if the difference was minimal or average. Here i either paid twice the price for a Bstock or bought used at the price of new. I don't trust often, and i get upset when i feel it has been abused. It becomes 'personal' and hard for me to digest. It can take me days or weeks to get passed it.

But I will try to follow your sound advice, thank you.

 

[Mr Allen]

I bought an Xbox One headset last week, for Christmas.

And even though I wear a digital hearing aid, it worked perfectly.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I agree, i happily pay more to buy in a store specifically because of trust. These guys haven't been replaced by the internet because they are expensive and because people need 'trust' to buy these products.

The problem is that the other guy also had a store and was also an authorised dealer. I wouldn't have cared about it if the difference was minimal or average. Here i either paid twice the price for a Bstock or bought used at the price of new. I don't trust often, and i get upset when i feel it has been abused. It becomes 'personal' and hard for me to digest. It can take me days or weeks to get passed it.

But I will try to follow your sound advice, thank you.

Does this qualify as a sunk cost fallacy?
Hindsight bias,maybe.

Learning about cognitive biases helped me a lot.

I spent a long time being cut up about this sort of thing.

But the above provides a logical reason for emotional sticking points, easier to let it go,once defined.

 

[Gracey]

I agree, i happily pay more to buy in a store specifically because of trust. These guys haven't been replaced by the internet because they are expensive and because people need 'trust' to buy these products.

The problem is that the other guy also had a store and was also an authorised dealer. I wouldn't have cared about it if the difference was minimal or average. Here i either paid twice the price for a Bstock or bought used at the price of new. I don't trust often, and i get upset when i feel it has been abused. It becomes 'personal' and hard for me to digest. It can take me days or weeks to get passed it.

But I will try to follow your sound advice, thank you.

I tend to pay more for trust too. I rarely buy anything off the internet. My literal interpretation of the product description usually means I'm disappointed with what is delivered.
I much prefer to walk in to a shop and ask questions, get a feel for the product if it's something I'm going to be paying a lot of money for.

It's always my decision if I buy it or not.

That cycle of annoyance you're on will continue for days or weeks if you keep on making it personal.
I agree in so much that if I was in your shoes, I would be so irritated by the situation, I would keep on replaying the memories of unfairness over and over on a thought loop and feeling its physical effects. (Frustration, indignation, anger)

Once felt, I'd have to decide what I can do about the situation because I know I personally can't remain in that mind set indefinitely.
If I can't change the outcome despite my best efforts, I know I have to let it go.

I'm sorry you found yourself in that situation, trust isn't something I give away freely either, I hope you can find your way passed this.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

agree in so much that if I was in your shoes, I would be so irritated by the situation, I would keep on replaying the memories of unfairness over and over on a thought loop and feeling its physical effects. (Frustration, indignation, anger)

A.k.a. 'the hamster wheel'

Run as fast as you like, you never get anywhere.

 

[watersprite]

Does this qualify as a sunk cost fallacy?
Hindsight bias,maybe.

Learning about cognitive biases helped me a lot.

I spent a long time being cut up about this sort of thing.

But the above provides a logical reason for emotional sticking points, easier to let it go,once defined.

Would like to know more about said cognitive biases. Please if you could provide a link?

 

[Ambi]

I love headphones, but some of them are just too expensive to justify buying.
That doesn't keep me from wanting to buy them.

I went to my favourite hifi shop the day after christmas, i go there because i trust them and they are authorised dealers for a brand i really wanted to be able to buy, so i check in with them every so often.

The brand i really liked was discontinuing a certain headphone to replace it with a newer model. The shop had already sold out, but also had a demo model, it only had little nicks on it on the outside but they offered me a 30% discount, which made it just affordable for me.

I've bought demo models before, they sound perfect and in the worst case there is some slight superficial damage, i can accept the imperfections because i've gotten a good deal on something i otherwise wouldn't be able to afford at all.

I was really happy with my purchase. Being the idiot i am i decided i wanted more tech specs on the headphones and within a second i found:
- another authorised retailer selling them new for the price i paid for the demo model
- the brand itself selling its refurbished bstock for the half the price i paid for the demo model

The guy at the store sold it to me for his purchase price +VAT, so i couldn't really expect more of a discount, and i can't really be angry with him. The brand itself said that it wasn't their problem, once its sold to their distributors they can do what they like.

So basically i'm screwed, but there's nothing i can do about it.

It's going round and round in my head and i can't get it out.
I've lashed out at the shop and at the brand through email.
Can i be angry at being screwed over by someone that was actually doing their best to help me get what i wanted but factually screwed me over in the process.

I get frustrated by things like this because I am so careful and exacting in what exactly I want and trying my best to get it for the best price and in the most convenient way - and when despite all of that work, and needing/expecting things to occur as predicted/planned (i.e. well, since I put forth such effort), it gets very frustrating when that happens. I'm dealing with it right now - a store shipped me the wrong item. I went to return it and get my money back, the lady at the store insisted she could re-order me what I had originally wanted - after taking forever and attempting a few times, she said she had managed it. My bank account shows repeated charges and no return. I called the store and they said it can take several days for my account to look accurate....so then I have this silly? anxiety for several days while waiting to see if it turns out as she says. All of this additional frustration/stress/hassle for something that should have been very simple. But this kind of frustration will make a person sick, I think it's very destructive. Thankfully I just move onto other things - posting a rant here really helps.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Would like to know more about said cognitive biases. Please if you could provide a link?

This is a blog i subsribe to, but don't pay for, lots of imteresting reading here.
Mental Models: The Best Way to Make Intelligent Decisions (113 Models Explained)
General :
Cognitive bias - Wikipedia

But googling charlie munger and behavioural economics (richard thaler, nudge theory) may be of some interest, though strays a bit from farnam street, which is worth reading several times imo

 

[Benjamin Dover]

My worst experience that was like this happened when I went to a car lot and bought a preferred used car on a Friday night. Gave them my down-payment, got the contract signed, and all that.

Drove home and sat down at my computer. Noticed that I had an email from the car lot where I had just purchased my car. They added me to their promotional email list and wasted no time.

The email said: "Come in to buy a preferred used car THIS WEEKEND, and have NO payments for three months."

If only I had waited just one more day, which was only a matter of hours.

Obviously, I won't be going back there again.

 

[Judge]

I wouldn't beat yourself up over this. Being an astute consumer has become ever more difficult than before. Often requiring being in the right place at the right time to be aware of the most optimal deal in the marketplace. All compounded with product life based on newer versions rather than outright obsolescence. And in a peak season where retailers have never been so competitive.

Meaning it could potentially happen with just about any product or brand and anyone retailing them.

 

[OkRad]

They suckered you, pure and simple. Being in retail, they knew how much it was going for.

Sell it on Ebay for what you payed. You WILL get a buyer. Then take the money and buy the pair that's new

 

[Judge]

Gotta ask. Was this by chance a Bose product we're talking about ? Christmas seems the only time when they heavily discount their top products. At least that's my observation. But even then, they still seem awfully pricey. Though I still wish I owned one. Maybe some day...or settle for a lesser expensive Sennheiser.