Recently Self Diagnosed Insomniac

[auroraflx]

I'm on week 3 of realizing I'm probably, almost definitely, autistic and it runs in my family.
It (probably) explains all these fun quirks in my life like never being able to learn to ride a bike, or understand verbal instructions. Everything I've Googled like... autism & nighttime teeth grinding or autism & difficulty driving a car and other random things that have been way more difficult for me than others I'm around I keep striking pay dirt.
So now I'm up Googling caffeine & autism since I had a cup of diner coffee at noon(!).. got sweaty, cleaned my whole house, made and edited a YouTube video and have been trying to quiet my brain down and sleep for 4 hours to no avail. Ughhhh.
I'm a 40 year old women, but actually more nonbinary if I'm being honest. Anyone got any advice for this fun questioning stage?

 

[Misery]

Anyone got any advice for this fun questioning stage?

Just take it slow, real slow. And if you find yourself getting frustrated while doing any sort of research, stop, take a break, and go do something else for awhile. Getting frustrated just slows down the learning process.

This whole thing takes quite awhile to really get a grip on. Even now, many years after my own diagnosis, there's still things to learn. There's no reason at all to rush, and there's always more to learn about.

And instead of focusing a lot on what you CANT do, try and really focus on what you CAN. If you look for just the negative, that's all you'll fine. So... dont do that.

Also be really careful about caffeine. I'd strongly suggest only having it in the period very shortly after waking up for the day. That stuff stays in your system much longer than you might realize. This is something I had to learn the hard way.

Welcome to the forums, by the way. It's a nice place. Feel free to talk about anything you want.

 

[Nitro]

 

[Rodafina]

Hello and welcome! My advice would be to hang out here with us and read and write as much as you’d like to. There is so much to learn here about lived experiences and a unique way of communicating with each other.

 

[Outdated]

Hi and welcome.When it comes to better understanding yourself I think reading posts in this forum is much more helpful than anything written by health professionals. They write things down in ways that a neurotypical person can understand and then you have to try and work out how that fits with what you feel and experience.

The people here are much easier to understand. Just join in any conversations that interest you.

 

[auroraflx]

Just take it slow, real slow. And if you find yourself getting frustrated while doing any sort of research, stop, take a break, and go do something else for awhile. Getting frustrated just slows down the learning process.

This whole thing takes quite awhile to really get a grip on. Even now, many years after my own diagnosis, there's still things to learn. There's no reason at all to rush, and there's always more to learn about.

And instead of focusing a lot on what you CANT do, try and really focus on what you CAN. If you look for just the negative, that's all you'll fine. So... dont do that.

Also be really careful about caffeine. I'd strongly suggest only having it in the period very shortly after waking up for the day. That stuff stays in your system much longer than you might realize. This is something I had to learn the hard way.

Welcome to the forums, by the way. It's a nice place. Feel free to talk about anything you want.

Thanks so much for validating my experience. I had a pretty close friend yesterday really brush it off when I said I thought I might be autistic. She meant well.... and said she just thought I was creative and had been watching too many Tiktoks since I have my life so together. But it's like.... so much bigger than outward displays of sociability. I am really grateful to finally have an answer after all these years. I am creative, and have found a great social circle of weirdos who seem to like my inability to sit though music or not cry during art shows. But it's taken so looong, and so many perplexing work difficulties where now I've learned to get everything in writing. Anyway. So grateful for this forum because so much is new research and the glories of the internet where we can really delve into similar inner lived experiences. Anyway, thanks! I have to go to work anyway, so that will be a good break from diving too deep.

 

[Aspychata]

That sounds pretty typical to me. A normal day routine for me, the autistic part. The teeth grinding, whirlwind of cleaning, caffeine consumption, and going to bed at 4 or 5:00 am.

And l was just realizing how much l like to organize things. Like l could have done this for a living. I love packing cars for trips, like figuring out how to efficiently use spaces to pack things into. My app on my phone is moving shapes around to get to the exit square with the primary cube.

Welcome to the site.

 

[DaisyRose]

I definitely struggled with riding a bike and currently with driving. I remember as a kid it took me months to learn how to ride a bike. I have scars on my knees from falling off so many times. That’s why later on I decided to stick to a razor scooter instead. I am currently learning how to drive at the moment and it is hard.

I am working towards my drivers license and hoping to get it in the summer. People have told me I’m very “technical” when it comes to driving. Maybe I like to be “technical” so that I’m careful to not harm anyone when I’m behind the wheel. I don’t want to cause any accidents or trouble that involves hurting others.

I would consider to look for a place where you can get a diagnosis. I remember being in your shoes about this and getting a diagnosis helped me understand myself better. Getting diagnosed helped me realize how I cope with different situations and how I process information. You also get information about social groups you can go to where other people share the same diagnosis.

 

[auroraflx]

I definitely struggled with riding a bike and currently with driving. I remember as a kid it took me months to learn how to ride a bike. I have scars on my knees from falling off so many times. That’s why later on I decided to stick to a razor scooter instead. I am currently learning how to drive at the moment and it is hard.

I am working towards my drivers license and hoping to get it in the summer. People have told me I’m very “technical” when it comes to driving. Maybe I like to be “technical” so that I’m careful to not harm anyone when I’m behind the wheel. I don’t want to cause any accidents or trouble that involves hurting others.

I would consider to look for a place where you can get a diagnosis. I remember being in your shoes about this and getting a diagnosis helped me understand myself better. Getting diagnosed helped me realize how I cope with different situations and how I process information. You also get information about social groups you can go to where other people share the same diagnosis.

 

[auroraflx]

That is really interesting and good to know I'm not the only one with biking and driving difficulties. Yeah, biking really hurt and the balance was too hard so I never have learned and am over it since I have tried countless times as an adult... I'd consider an adult tricycle. I grew up on a farm so could drive okay there, and sometimes to school, but got so easily overwhelmed. I finally was forced to learn during grad school when my apartment, school and practicum placement were impossible to get to with public transit and I had super kind roommates who gave me time to learn by myself slowly with their car... whereas before I'd always be with teachers/friends/partners who were stressed out/ giving advice and it just freaked me out & distracted me... and yeah, the massive fear of killing people is horrible. I somehow manage to subsume that. We can also be helpful if we notice pedestrians and animals other drivers might not! Good luck! You'll get it. It is really illuminating to know there's a reason though.... I heard so much growing up "What's wrong with you!?" If only I could have said, it's developmental... I just need more time, research, watching, practicing and obsessing than you do.

 

[VictorR]

Welcome! I'd just like to echo the general sentiment that there's lots of information and knowledge here - though searching can be a bit of a challenge due to different folks wording things in different ways. Of course there's nothing wrong with starting new threads either.

 

[Aspychata]

I had issues tying my shoes, bikes took me some time to master. My daughter is a high functioning autistic beautiful spiritual young lady, had to really tackle the driving aspect to get her license. But she is great at doing other types of things that require skill and creativity.

 

[DaisyRose]

That is really interesting and good to know I'm not the only one with biking and driving difficulties. Yeah, biking really hurt and the balance was too hard so I never have learned and am over it since I have tried countless times as an adult... I'd consider an adult tricycle. I grew up on a farm so could drive okay there, and sometimes to school, but got so easily overwhelmed. I finally was forced to learn during grad school when my apartment, school and practicum placement were impossible to get to with public transit and I had super kind roommates who gave me time to learn by myself slowly with their car... whereas before I'd always be with teachers/friends/partners who were stressed out/ giving advice and it just freaked me out & distracted me... and yeah, the massive fear of killing people is horrible. I somehow manage to subsume that. We can also be helpful if we notice pedestrians and animals other drivers might not! Good luck! You'll get it. It is really illuminating to know there's a reason though.... I heard so much growing up "What's wrong with you!?" If only I could have said, it's developmental... I just need more time, research, watching, practicing and obsessing than you do.

Thank you so much for your kind words I really appreciate it. My dad has to be my practice driver because he is calmer and more patience than my mom. He is easy to work with and makes sure I understand how to do everything. I keep practicing in an empty parking lot to get more practice.

My mom is the one who stresses me out she causes me to panic and mess up. It makes me lose focus and I preform worse when I’m with her. I have to focus really hard when I’m driving because I am looking at everything at the same time. It’s hard to process multiple things at the same time in that sort of setting.

So far so good I’m keeping at it and going twice a week for practice. I am getting familiar with driving and getting better at my parking and turns. It makes me feel better someone can relate to what I’m feeling.