So, a very unexpected thing happened in my little world today.
I get up, head on downstairs, get my soda, try not to run into the doorframe, the usual. Get down here, power up the PC here, with the intent of finding something short on Youtube to watch as I have my first meal of the day, as per standard protocol.
Get down here, get the thing up and out of sleep mode, and... a message? Through Steam? While I was asleep? Huh. Well, not hugely rare, but then I look to see who sent it, and... It's someone I havent heard from or seen in years. A long time, longer than I really want to think about. Not his fault, mind you... so much of that is due to me letting my own depression and issues take control. But still, been a long time. Just... yeah. An old friend I hadnt thought I'd meet again. I'd actually wondered, more than a few times, if any of that group would still remember me much, given how long it's been. We used to all meet up for gaming-related hijinks and such, over at a specific person's house.
A positive thing I can say right off the bat is that this was another instance of me being able to give someone the whole "Hi I'm Sophie" explanation and all of that, so... that's a good thing. Which he's fine with, as I figured he would be. So, that's a good step forward on that front.
Beyond that, we just talked about all sorts of random things, he told me how some of the others are doing, he talked about how he's doing, asked how I'm doing, and we chatted about random hobby-related stuff for way too long (which is standard procedure, you see). Very good, very positive conversation. And he's like, hey, so you want to meet up in the next week or two?
I answered that as being like, that sounds fine to me, but I cant handle everyone at once yet. He knows I'm autistic (I never exactly made much of a secret of my diagnosis and all) and I gave a quick explanation of the simple fact that I've been too non-social for too long (with the pandemic not helping) and I'm like... yeah, I'd get overwhelmed fast in a group situation right now. Gotta take it slow. So, going to just go over to his place for a nice simple visit (once I work out exactly how to get there, that is). Go over there, just have some fun for a couple of hours, and then take it from there, you know.
But I aint used to this sort of thing. Or... at least, I aint used to it now. Seriously, I've been stuck in my own stupid little box for far too long.
So, here's the thing: I want to be able to just go over there and... you know, NOT be super awkward and nervous about it simply because I havent been social in ages (since again, that's my own fault). Particularly since it occurs to me that this isnt going to be the only instance of reconnecting with someone. Friends I aint seen in ages, but also family too... plenty of them. Sooner or later, I'm gonna have to deal with that. It's bad enough as it is that I hid away for so long. So I gotta be able to do that.
I'm wondering, thusly, if any of you have any tips or thoughts on that. Getting through my own general nervousness about socializing and meeting up with people I havent seen in so long.
Now granted that's not the ONLY problem... I also have to consider my screwball sleep schedule (which I did explain that as well, as that completely controls when I can and cannot do things) and I do gotta figure out how in the funky heck I'm gonna get over there, I know the general area but my previous route was me coming from the irritating little town of Naperville, now I'm coming from a total backwoods region with problematic roads (country roads, a bit run down, that sort). So I gotta take some time to come up with a proper route. But that stuff, I can figure out on my own. It's really the social element that I've got so much trouble with.
Yeah, any thoughts or ideas anyone might have would be super.
Positive thing overall though. I'm in a darned good mood for once. Or at least I would be if I wasnt so sore (my own fault though, that).
I get up, head on downstairs, get my soda, try not to run into the doorframe, the usual. Get down here, power up the PC here, with the intent of finding something short on Youtube to watch as I have my first meal of the day, as per standard protocol.
Get down here, get the thing up and out of sleep mode, and... a message? Through Steam? While I was asleep? Huh. Well, not hugely rare, but then I look to see who sent it, and... It's someone I havent heard from or seen in years. A long time, longer than I really want to think about. Not his fault, mind you... so much of that is due to me letting my own depression and issues take control. But still, been a long time. Just... yeah. An old friend I hadnt thought I'd meet again. I'd actually wondered, more than a few times, if any of that group would still remember me much, given how long it's been. We used to all meet up for gaming-related hijinks and such, over at a specific person's house.
A positive thing I can say right off the bat is that this was another instance of me being able to give someone the whole "Hi I'm Sophie" explanation and all of that, so... that's a good thing. Which he's fine with, as I figured he would be. So, that's a good step forward on that front.
Beyond that, we just talked about all sorts of random things, he told me how some of the others are doing, he talked about how he's doing, asked how I'm doing, and we chatted about random hobby-related stuff for way too long (which is standard procedure, you see). Very good, very positive conversation. And he's like, hey, so you want to meet up in the next week or two?
I answered that as being like, that sounds fine to me, but I cant handle everyone at once yet. He knows I'm autistic (I never exactly made much of a secret of my diagnosis and all) and I gave a quick explanation of the simple fact that I've been too non-social for too long (with the pandemic not helping) and I'm like... yeah, I'd get overwhelmed fast in a group situation right now. Gotta take it slow. So, going to just go over to his place for a nice simple visit (once I work out exactly how to get there, that is). Go over there, just have some fun for a couple of hours, and then take it from there, you know.
But I aint used to this sort of thing. Or... at least, I aint used to it now. Seriously, I've been stuck in my own stupid little box for far too long.
So, here's the thing: I want to be able to just go over there and... you know, NOT be super awkward and nervous about it simply because I havent been social in ages (since again, that's my own fault). Particularly since it occurs to me that this isnt going to be the only instance of reconnecting with someone. Friends I aint seen in ages, but also family too... plenty of them. Sooner or later, I'm gonna have to deal with that. It's bad enough as it is that I hid away for so long. So I gotta be able to do that.
I'm wondering, thusly, if any of you have any tips or thoughts on that. Getting through my own general nervousness about socializing and meeting up with people I havent seen in so long.
Now granted that's not the ONLY problem... I also have to consider my screwball sleep schedule (which I did explain that as well, as that completely controls when I can and cannot do things) and I do gotta figure out how in the funky heck I'm gonna get over there, I know the general area but my previous route was me coming from the irritating little town of Naperville, now I'm coming from a total backwoods region with problematic roads (country roads, a bit run down, that sort). So I gotta take some time to come up with a proper route. But that stuff, I can figure out on my own. It's really the social element that I've got so much trouble with.
Yeah, any thoughts or ideas anyone might have would be super.
Positive thing overall though. I'm in a darned good mood for once. Or at least I would be if I wasnt so sore (my own fault though, that).
