Recurring silence

[Nyades]

I don't know if this is a universal issue but does anyone else find that once an emotion enters the picture, the ability to speak leaves and you go on autopilot as far as going about what your supposed to be doing, only silently. It doesn't matter which emotion, though for me it's usually anger or frustration, which makes it irritatingly impossible to debate about anything I care about. It's almost like an inability to even internally multitask. But this has been a major obstacle since I can remember, I've found it to prelude every major "downward spiral" that resulted in job loss and roommate loss. Currently, a few weeks ago my roommate angered me to the point I couldn't speak, and I haven't been able to speak a complete sentence to them since. I'm not trying to be rude or punishing with "silent treatment", I just got stuck at that juncture and remain without a response. This has made the house uncomfortable to reside in especially when they are present, and the most logical next move seems to be to move out soon.

 

[Margaretha]

Emotions can be overwhelming. It must be hard living with roommates.

 

[imagesbyholly]

I know what you are talking about. In the last few years it has gotten better for me. Somehow I learned not to take myself or conflicts so seriously. It started with a desire to be more forgiving, and trying to learn and practice that, then Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage which focuses on positives and building on those, rather than obnoxois talk therapy where you harp on your differences/faults. This idea about laughing more and taking some things more lightly helped me too. It's not a "snap your fingers" thing though, and I still get these feelings. I have to tell myself (and practice what to say/do by myself) that life must go on, and kindness, and overlooking the problem until it can be calmly resolved are more productive that panicked or angry silence. I always dissociated really bad in these situations so, like I said, it was hard to learn not to do it, but very worth it.

 

[girl_incognito]

I do this in a way. I don't always completely lose my words, I will say things that make absolutely no sense. But if it's someone that I don't live with that angers or frustrates me I can dissociate with them rather quickly. I just rather not deal with it. The only people I can not do this with is my children and my husband.

 

[Nyades]

It started with a desire to be more forgiving, and trying to learn and practice that, then Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage which focuses on positives and building on those, rather than obnoxois talk therapy where you harp on your differences/faults. This idea about laughing more and taking some things more lightly helped me too.

Humor would be helpful but my sense of humor tends to be literal instead of situational.

Anyway, I'm glad to see it's not just me. It's probably just so problematic for me since I only have two emotions: anger and not-anger, though I very, very rarely get angry (maybe once a year). Mostly, I reason and logic everything.

 

[Aalo]

I don't know if this is a universal issue but does anyone else find that once an emotion enters the picture, the ability to speak leaves and you go on autopilot as far as going about what your supposed to be doing, only silently.

This is pretty close to what happens to me. While I was a kid I just became really irrational and babblative, and as I later on learned (to have more questions) more about social interactions the whole scene of getting emotional just appeared to me so that none of conclusions I had tried to form felt complete and everything was just contradictory. Doing opposite what's alleged isn't what I do, but random actions have taken the place of vague words.

How I've tried to learn handle better these situations is to think that nothing really affects me. People act in a fey way around me without it really touching me, without it really physically changing me,therefore I don't need to have an opinion over that. Taking stressful situations as observations of a chance and acting mere callous will leave me space to act coherent. But there's no measure for how much I dislike being like that. I have no idea if it'd be better to be cold and reasonable or irrational and with the situation.

 

[BK111]

I don't know if this is a universal issue but does anyone else find that once an emotion enters the picture, the ability to speak leaves and you go on autopilot as far as going about what your supposed to be doing, only silently. It doesn't matter which emotion, though for me it's usually anger or frustration, which makes it irritatingly impossible to debate about anything I care about. It's almost like an inability to even internally multitask. But this has been a major obstacle since I can remember, I've found it to prelude every major "downward spiral" that resulted in job loss and roommate loss. Currently, a few weeks ago my roommate angered me to the point I couldn't speak, and I haven't been able to speak a complete sentence to them since. I'm not trying to be rude or punishing with "silent treatment", I just got stuck at that juncture and remain without a response. This has made the house uncomfortable to reside in especially when they are present, and the most logical next move seems to be to move out soon.

I think the best thing to say is to learn how to appreciate the silence. I've learned to be silent when I do not have anything to say and when I do have something to say that I think will at least contribute to the conversation say it and then listen and be quiet. Tell the people around you that you respect what is going on around you and for that reason are trying to respect that. Lastly, try as hard as possible to not multi-task. It does no good, especially if you want to show dedication to the working you are doing. Stop everything you are doing when your employer or other person you know comes up to you and focus solely on that task. Then return to what you are doing. I think these things are important to keep in mind.

I will be happy to answer further questions you have or give further advice as you need it.

 

[silent ABAB]

I was wondering if this was colloquial with others. It is reassuring hopefully to you also that somebody else has the same problem.

 

[DealingWithIt]

The more I read on here the more I smile. It's wonderful to know that I am not alone. Dating was always very hard for me since I was never sure what it was I was supposed to be feeling towards these people. Weather I liked them or hated them, whatever I felt just kept me silent. If I liked them I was even quieter. To this day, anything that introduces emotion and attempts to replace my very comfortable sense of logic leads to deafening silence.

 

[Aalo]

I've just recently realized that I'm no invisible for most of people. In many ways I'd like to be, and I want to learn to use that thinking as my benefit. Lately I've tried to build this as my strength. I've grown to believe I can't afford to have a strong reaction, or one at all, as it would in some cases really ruin further opportunities. It's good that I've already learned to let go of my verbal turnout. It might be the strongest thing to get peoples attention.

 

[oscar2012]

I dont like tracing paper people also people who no what they are doing there scary people to me

 

[Peace]

When my emotions are stirred, "I Spill". I talk, I write, I jump to action. Just this week we had a controversial meeting of our local government. As usual, I ended up on our TV news, on radio stations and in the newspaper. I even declined a request for an interview, and still ended up there. I just cannot keep my mouth shut!!! I am sure that most of you have already figured this out.
This is just as difficult as not being able to speak. I constantly have people coming up to me to ask questions or give their comments. I get phone calls, and people coming to my house, some of them I don't even know. I am always in the spotlight. I have had to learn to control what comes out of this Monster, which is the most difficult thing of all!
I too go on auto pilot, only instead of clamming up, I explode with words, well actually it is emotion that comes out in word form.
This is a very difficult life for an Aspie!
Be careful what you wish for. There is always someone who has it that wishes they did not.