Regarding 2015 assessed at NT think I am asperger's

[Gift2humanity]

Hi

My psychiatrist agreed that he would write to the Autism assessor who assessed me as NT in 2015 to seek a review of this diagnosis.
I don't know what my psychiatrist wrote on his letter to the autism assessor.
In the meantime I have been diagnosed as EUPD/Borderline personality disorder.
The assessor thought I had ADHD I think I have both.
At the time of 3 interview assessment I was foolishly on recreational drugs and drinking alcohol, I was using and drinking heavily at the time.
I am now tapering off illicit valium under the supervision of psychiatrist.
Not any any other meds.
I got a letter from the same man who assessed me and he sent a copy of the assessment letter with a covering note asking which parts I disagree with.
I am panicking as there are bit I missed out in the interview, which I am worried he will discount and still say I am NT.
Also, I don't know how quick he wants me to reply, I don't want to rush it and miss things out, but on the other hand, I don't want to take too long in case he thinks that I have somehow made stuff up just to get a diagnosis.
This last concern is because the ADHD feedback said my interview sounded scripted, as I googled ADHD and a lot of the criteria fitted me.
I was invited back by ADHD nurse to see ADHD specialist as she suspected it but I postponed as I Wanted to go sober, never got another appointment as the funding got cut, instead I got long letter, lost that, saying I had to be drug free for another assessment.
So, any help would be appreciated.
I am happy to copy the assessment letter on here and bits I missed out, as I did make notes for my psychiatrist before he contacted the autism assessor.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Hope no one minds the bump. What is the name of that red green and blue thing, in my sig line, I read the letter from the assessor and in it I say things to suggest I am not autistic.
For example, he asked what I would say if a friend bought a dress I didn't like and I said I would be diplomatic and say I liked her other dress, when in reality I would freeze, I think I only said this as I was high on drugs and in a safe clinical setting. Please also see above post, hope I don't sound rude, communication problems.

 

[Magna]

My opinion is that your autism assessment could very have been compromised by you being high on drugs as you say, at the time. You mention that in at least one part of your assessment, you answered a question in a way that was not accurately reflecting what you really think. There may be other areas of your assessment where you thought at the time you were answering honestly, but perhaps without realizing it, you were not. Also, is it possible that being high on drugs at the time could have altered your non-verbal communication or lack thereof? In most any situation I can think of, being high on drugs at the time negates the validity of what is being relied upon as fact. I don't believe people can testify in court while they're high on drugs and have it be considered valid. Same for a wedding ceremony.

The very good thing is that you're tapering off of using illicit drugs. If getting another look at your autism assessment is important to you and if it's at all possible, once you're no longer using I would suggest you seek a completely new autism assessment which you'd take part in without being under the influence of any potentially mind or mood altering drugs.

 

[Progster]

Yeah, being high on drugs at your assessment was a mistake - for your assessment you need to be yourself as you normally are. I hope you get a second chance.

Also, perhaps the assessor was asking the wrong kind of question. They needed to be asking not just what you would do in a given situation, but how it would make you feel. As adults on the spectrum, we learn to mask. We are aware of white lies, that we are supposed to pretend that we like something so as not to hurt a person's feelings, even if we don't like it. But we are often conflicted by it, it feels fake and wrong or forced, and this is what is relevant to the assessment, not what you would actually say. Perhaps seek an assessment from a different person?

There's a UK TV documentary called "Are You Autistic" where two people (adults) who suspect that they are on the spectrum are put through various tests. One of the test was exactly this, they were asked for their reactions and thoughts to a scene where someone was telling a white lie. Both spotted that it was a white lie and understood the reason for it, the guy said that he thought it was dishonest and it felt wrong. The assessor then said that this reaction was typical of a person on the spectrum. Both later received an ASD diagnosis.

 

[Starfire]

I am panicking as there are bit I missed out in the interview, which I am worried he will discount and still say I am NT.

A diagnosis is given once many things are taken into consideration such as body language, voice tone, facial expressions, your history from childhood onwards, current and past work and relationships history etc, etc, etc.

If you missed out a little bit, and you don’t specify what that might be, I wouldn’t worry about it as no doubt everyone who has been through the diagnosis process has missed something out due to time constraints, memory, what you want to get across as a priority, what your assessor wants to focus on and find out about and many other factors.

The point is your assessor will be well aware of all this, yet still found in their expert opinion that you are not, or are unlikely to be on the spectrum. I don’t understand why you or anyone would be panicking because they are found to be neurotypical, that’s not a bad thing. I wish that had been the conclusion at the end of my assessment. Why are you worried about being told you are a NT, maybe you are and you just need to accept and embrace that?

 

[Gift2humanity]

My opinion is that your autism assessment could very have been compromised by you being high on drugs as you say, at the time. You mention that in at least one part of your assessment, you answered a question in a way that was not accurately reflecting what you really think. There may be other areas of your assessment where you thought at the time you were answering honestly, but perhaps without realizing it, you were not. Also, is it possible that being high on drugs at the time could have altered your non-verbal communication or lack thereof? In most any situation I can think of, being high on drugs at the time negates the validity of what is being relied upon as fact. I don't believe people can testify in court while they're high on drugs and have it be considered valid. Same for a wedding ceremony.

The very good thing is that you're tapering off of using illicit drugs. If getting another look at your autism assessment is important to you and if it's at all possible, once you're no longer using I would suggest you seek a completely new autism assessment which you'd take part in without being under the influence of any potentially mind or mood altering drugs.

Hi thanks for your answer.
I am still on 25mg valium but this is legitimately prescribed by the NHS. It maintains me from the horrible withdrawals, I am reducing it under supervision, it does not make me feel high, it just staves off the withdrawals. I feel much different to how I did in 2015, I see myself for who I really am not for who I want to be, I am just afraid the assessor will think I am "looking for a diagnosis" because in 2015 I said I would be ok without one, when I am not.

 

[Magna]

Hi thanks for your answer.
I am still on 25mg valium but this is legitimately prescribed by the NHS. It maintains me from the horrible withdrawals, I am reducing it under supervision, it does not make me feel high, it just staves off the withdrawals. I feel much different to how I did in 2015, I see myself for who I really am not for who I want to be, I am just afraid the assessor will think I am "looking for a diagnosis" because in 2015 I said I would be ok without one, when I am not.

Like Starfire, I too am wondering why you feel you're not ok unless you're diagnosed with autism? If you were able to obtain a second assessment perhaps from a different assessor and the result of that assessment was that you were NT, would you feel ok about things then?

 

[Gift2humanity]

A diagnosis is given once many things are taken into consideration such as body language, voice tone, facial expressions, your history from childhood onwards, current and past work and relationships history etc, etc, etc.

If you missed out a little bit, and you don’t specify what that might be, I wouldn’t worry about it as no doubt everyone who has been through the diagnosis process has missed something out due to time constraints, memory, what you want to get across as a priority, what your assessor wants to focus on and find out about and many other factors.

The point is your assessor will be well aware of all this, yet still found in their expert opinion that you are not, or are unlikely to be on the spectrum. I don’t understand why you or anyone would be panicking because they are found to be neurotypical, that’s not a bad thing. I wish that had been the conclusion at the end of my assessment. Why are you worried about being told you are a NT, maybe you are and you just need to accept and embrace that?

I cannot meet the demands and expectations of a neuro typical.
I am too sensitive, I have to put my fingers in my ears when I hear loud noises.
Can't stand certain food textures.
Life is too intense.
Also, if I was put in the workplace, I would not be given reasonable adjustments, like an Aspie would and as previous jobs have shown, I would fail.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Like Starfire, I too am wondering why you feel you're not ok unless you're diagnosed with autism? If you were able to obtain a second assessment perhaps from a different assessor and the result of that assessment was that you were NT, would you feel ok about things then?

It's the same assessor who wrote to me asking why I disagree with his assessment. The difficulty is that I said a lot of things in that assessment that are not who I really am, due to the drugs.
I am on ESA, if taken off, I would not be given reasonable adjustments in a workplace to cope with a job.
People get annoyed with me because I do not have an explanation why I struggle to communicate, why I say the wrong thing, why I hate vagueness etc etc

 

[Gift2humanity]

Yeah, being high on drugs at your assessment was a mistake - for your assessment you need to be yourself as you normally are. I hope you get a second chance.

Also, perhaps the assessor was asking the wrong kind of question. They needed to be asking not just what you would do in a given situation, but how it would make you feel. As adults on the spectrum, we learn to mask. We are aware of white lies, that we are supposed to pretend that we like something so as not to hurt a person's feelings, even if we don't like it. But we are often conflicted by it, it feels fake and wrong or forced, and this is what is relevant to the assessment, not what you would actually say. Perhaps seek an assessment from a different person?

There's a UK TV documentary called "Are You Autistic" where two people (adults) who suspect that they are on the spectrum are put through various tests. One of the test was exactly this, they were asked for their reactions and thoughts to a scene where someone was telling a white lie. Both spotted that it was a white lie and understood the reason for it, the guy said that he thought it was dishonest and it felt wrong. The assessor then said that this reaction was typical of a person on the spectrum. Both later received an ASD diagnosis.

It was a very stupid mistake to be high on drugs in an assessment.
I hope I get another chance. I was high on speed in an assessment in 2006, I have come to my senses now.
Masking wasn't mentioned in the assessment but I do mask.
It was based on Wing and Gould and the ICD 10.
Thanks for your post.

 

[Magna]

It's the same assessor who wrote to me asking why I disagree with his assessment. The difficulty is that I said a lot of things in that assessment that are not who I really am, due to the drugs.
I am on ESA, if taken off, I would not be given reasonable adjustments in a workplace to cope with a job.
People get annoyed with me because I do not have an explanation why I struggle to communicate, why I say the wrong thing, why I hate vagueness etc etc

Since the original assessor has asked for your feedback as to why or what areas you think the assessment wasn't correct, at this point have you told the assessor that you were high on drugs at the time of the assessment? Does the assessor know this?

 

[Gift2humanity]

Since the original assessor has asked for your feedback as to why or what areas you think the assessment wasn't correct, at this point have you told the assessor that you were high on drugs at the time of the assessment? Does the assessor know this?

Yes he does it is mentioned in his letter.
What is the name of that green, red blue aspire score in my signature, as I keep getting asperger's every time I do it. Thanks

 

[Starfire]

It's the same assessor who wrote to me asking why I disagree with his assessment. The difficulty is that I said a lot of things in that assessment that are not who I really am, due to the drugs.
I am on ESA, if taken off, I would not be given reasonable adjustments in a workplace to cope with a job.
People get annoyed with me because I do not have an explanation why I struggle to communicate, why I say the wrong thing, why I hate vagueness etc etc

So the reason that getting a diagnosis is so important for you, is that you think it means you can stay on benefits, and if you can’t, that you will then be able to claim accommodations in a place of work?

Having ASD is not an excuse or reason in and of itself not to work or contribute, many people who self-identify don’t have recourse to any accommodations in the workplace, yet work. Others with a diagnosis are able to find work that suits them without claiming accommodations.

Perhaps the problem is that you aren’t looking for the type of work which would suit you, but you want to find a reason not to do the type of employment which you know definitely wouldn’t suit you.

 

[Gift2humanity]

So the reason that getting a diagnosis is so important for you, is that you think it means you can stay on benefits, and if you can’t, that you will then be able to claim accommodations in a place of work?

Having ASD is not an excuse or reason in and of itself not to work or contribute, many people who self-identify don’t have recourse to any accommodations in the workplace, yet work. Others with a diagnosis are able to find work that suits them without claiming accommodations.

Perhaps the problem is that you aren’t looking for the type of work which would suit you, but you want to find a reason not to do the type of employment which you know definitely wouldn’t suit you.

It's not about staying on benefits. If I was offered a job, I would want an employer to know my difficulties so they could make reasonable adjustments. I struggled through my old job, it was chaotic, very bitty with lots of unwanted interpersonal interaction. That employer might have given me a less chaotic job with less interpersonal interaction, if I had been given a diagnosis at the time.

many people who self-identify don’t have recourse to any accommodations in the workplace, yet work.

This was me, I had to interact with people, at short notice, no routine to job, very bitty, whereas others at the same grade had routine desk jobs and were not expected to interact with people, it was a struggle and affected my self esteem as I did not know why I struggled. It caused meltdowns.

Others with a diagnosis are able to find work that suits them without claiming accommodations.

If I was lucky, this could be the future me.

My talents are art, writing and singing. I was an early reader and could read and write before school, however I could not walk very well, learnt to talk before walking.
My Dad was jealous of my early reading, but I did not know this, and he used the fact that I fell down a lot to mock me.
I chose at 2yrs old to give up reading as I wanted to walk like my not-so-older siblings, I wanted to be sporty at school, I became ashamed of my art and brightness and dumbed myself down to fit in.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Hi sorry to bother you again, I was going to start another thread but couldn't tell if this would cheese off the moderators.

Question 1, what is the name of that red and blue picture that shows your asperger's score?

Question 2, I am female and feel that the ICD-10 which my assessment was based on is geared towards males. I can't tell if it would insult the assessor if I mentioned this.

Question 3 I mentioned Tony Attwood in my response letter, as a leading expert on asperger's. I don't know if this would insult the assessor. Attwood recognises that girls manifest symptoms different to boys.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Sorry to bother you, please can someone translate the following diagnostic criterion into plain English for me, I don't want the assessor who wrote my failed diagnosis letter to just think I am looking at autism as an excuse for my problems.
Thanks
1.Failure to develop in a manner appropriate to mental age, and despite ample opportunities peer relationships that involve a mutual sharing of interests activities and emotions.
2.Lack of socio emotional reciprocity as shown by an impaired or deviant response to other people’s emotions; or lack of modulation of behaviour according to social context; or a weak integration of social, emotional, and communicative behaviours.
3Lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people (e.g.a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out to other people objects of interest to the individual.

Thanks