relating to an autistics boss

[Brian Smith]

Hi, I joined this site to help relate to a new boss. Here's the history:

- we used to be colleagues, both starting as Network Engineers at the same time for a Fortune 500 company.
- he admitted in the first month or two to the team that he is on the autism spectrum and can come across harshly at times.
- he constant complained about the job and how bad things were and if he didn't get his way he would leave
- our Director finally gave him a Senor Manager role over everyone else and total control
- He has admitted (and it's on a recording) to me that "I don't have the personality to be a 'people manager' " and he admits he's "an azz".
- He's also admitted within two weeks of being promoted he's burned bridges with most of the managers and others around him.
- I've had to file a HR complaint against him for the things he's stated and seemingly at times has appeared to be mentally incompetent, on drugs, or on under of the influence of medications he's on due to his obesity, diabetes, pneumonia, ear infection and who knows what else.
- He lives in an apartment with his dog and all he does is work, his "vacations" are staying at home in his apartment.

At this point I've started to look for employment elsewhere, the proverbial tiger such as him at 53 years old and his situation doesn't change his stripes. Any reason I should give him and this company another chance?

No hate mail please, at least I'm giving him a chance and asked you.

thx,

Brian

 

[Crossbreed]

If you have met one autistic, you have met one autistic. It very likely that many of your other engineering co-workers are autistic, too, without being as offensive.

The things that you describe would be troublesome even for other autistics. And his medications may very well be a factor.

You said in your profile that you were unsure of your diagnosis. Take some online screening tests and see if that fits.
If you ARE autistic, you can begin to come to terms with it and afford a certain amount of grace to others.

If you happen to be an engineer who is not autistic, it would still be worth your while to get a better understanding of autism whether you stay or go.

 

[Brian Smith]

p.s. I have a teenage step-son who has been diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum and, as an engineer and married to a wife who is an accountant, we can all be somewhat on the "spectrum", who is to say, meaning I am certainly sensitive to the matter.

 

[Crossbreed]

Hello & welcome, BTW.

 

[Gerontius]

Howdy Brian!

Don't feel bad for getting along with your boss; autism or no autism nobody gets the excuse to act like that. You guys are in the professional fields & if he cannot be professional, then no reason you should be expected to conform to his mediocrity.

This isn't an autism debate, or about your boss. Friend, this is about you, and (since we're talking business) your success! Working with unpleasant, difficult people drains your soul. We aren't made to go to work 8 or 10 hours a day with people we hate, so we can come home and spend an hour & a half with ones we love.

You're an engineer, so I know you're a problem-solver; you're going to have zero problem finding something cool to do. I hope people don't ignore you for being 53; ageism in the workplace is a real thing & it shuts out a lot of wisdom & skills. See if you can get somewhere that lets you get a good pension/benefits; if you're in a vital role for your company right now & they'll have trouble replacing you, use this as leverage and maybe they will put you in a part of the company you don't have to listen to this one guy in Senior Management who's being unpleasant.

Good luck. Go for it--you have nothing to fear and (hopefully) nothing to lose.

 

[Crossbreed]

...ageism in the workplace is a real thing & it shuts out a lot of wisdom & skills.

You got that right...

 

[Aneka]

Being autistic doesn't exclude narcism.

 

[Crossbreed]

Being autistic doesn't exclude narcism.

Except narcissists tend to be extroverts who want to be the center of attention.
We tend to be introverts who eschew excessive attention...

 

[Gerontius]

You got that right...

Seen it happen. And I've seen people get laid off for getting pregnant.
Loving, aging, marrying, dying--all this stuff is part of the general living-and-dying of it all, but oh no, we're going to lose a few dollars, whatever shall we do-- S

Except narcissists tend to be extroverts who want to be the center of attention.
We tend to be introverts who eschew excessive attention...

Take a good look round through part of the forum here, and that's not the case, sorry. Not everyone's an introvert.

 

[Crossbreed]

Not everyone's an introvert.

I agree, but we skew INTJ. I'm INTx.

 

[Ken]

From you description, your boss has a lot more issues than just autism!

 

[Tom]

You won't find azz or bridge burner under a list of autism symptoms.