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Relationship with aspie bf

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dasil

Well-Known Member
You might not read it because it's long, also my english isn't best. But I just need an advice. I was in relationship with aspie for like 4 months. I didn't know he was aspie. After we had a few inconsistencies in our relationship, he told me about this syndrome and everything started to make sense to me. Because I loved him, I started to study about this syndrome to understand him as much as I could. Unfortunately, he left me without saying a goodbye - a few days after he whispered to my ear how he loves me. After a 4 (for me) great months. To write it briefly as is possible - he left me 2 times. For the first time, it was for a month - I was so sad, missed him every day and didn't stop to love him. After a month, he suddenly appeared. He was very sad that he has no friends and he is mostly alone. I offered him a friendship with me but he refused this offer with the fact that he can't be 'just a friend' with me. Well, we were in it again, but who would have imagined it would take only a few weeks. He left me for the second time a week after we spend fantastic 3 days in hotel.
I was broken and sad. I had to ask for a reason many times till he finally replied: 'we have nothing to talk about anymore'.
It's ended for me and I was about to move forward. I would probably wait on him if he just said 'sorry, i just want to be alone for some weeks', but he didn't say that. I though that he is already looking for or having someone else.
And now the problem... it's been 3 months now, he is a past for me (since we've known each other, we have not been away for so long.) but few days ago he send me a friends requiest on Instagram and I found there a pic of us how where we are kissing with this text: "sometimes good, sometimes bad, but I still have memories. :(". I wasn't in love anymore, I couldn't be, but sometimes I really missed him and I was scared that he has just "deleted me" from his brain.
The problem is I don't know what to do now. He writes me a lot now but i am
restrained. I miss him, I would like to hug him, but... maybe it's not worh it. On the other side, it is hard for me to say "No" when he probably loves me by his way and he always tried to "Work" on himself. Even that he failed again and again.

Do you have any experience like me? Why he has this repeating "disconnection" from me for some time?

How did it end up?
 
I’d advise you to keep your distance and ignore any attempts at reconciliation. I’d also suggest steering clear of his social media.
You shouldn’t have to be a plaything of his whims, regardless of whether he’s on the spectrum or not. Move on.
 
You should block him on everything. Yes, I've experienced this. It's not "his way," and Autism isn't relevant.

Run run run,
As fast you can,
He can't catch you,
'Cause
YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND RESPECTED

Gingerbread song revised. :cool:
 
He doesn't back up his words of 'love'. Its been only 4 months, too, so to love you would be unlikely. Also he doesn't know what he wants.

Don't be afraid to move on, darling, you can have much more fun and good times with far less heartache even if you bump into guys who won't be able to choose/date you. Plus the cuddles and getting to know new interesting people. Those hot chests so close...

Do your best to make yourself enjoy your life by the time he returns he wont have a chance to impress you with his empty promises or lame reasons, such as 'im lonely, date me so ill use and dump you so i wont have to deal with my own loneliness issue'. Tell him thats not a good reason to date someone and that youre looking for someone serious, someone who can work on his own issues and not hold you responsible. Someone who is not going to go hot and cold on his words and keep on messing up your heart.

Tell him he's literally wasted your time and needs to fix his issues before attempting to date anyone again or the same will happen again and again.

If you want love, its time to look for it. Youve wasted enough time and effort, you owe him nothing. You deserve to be happy and loved. Free yourself.

 
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