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Relationship

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Debalem

New Member
Hi, i am in a serious rerelationship with a guy who has Aspergers, OCD, claustrophobia and other issues I don't understand. It took him nearln a year to admit what the issues were or that he even had any. I knew nothing about what this meant for us although I knew something wasn't right. We are now nearly 2 years in and I havent met his family, he won't tell me he loves memirme even likes me, he shows little interest in my hobbies even though I try to about his. My kids think he is rude, my friends think I am mad. I don't know what is bad behaviour and what can't be helped. He likes sex and is on a sites to meet women, although he is not successful, he is terrible with money and never has any. Help
 
I am not entirely sure. I suppose how do o know and understand what is bad behaviour and what can't he help doing. I know for instance that he drives miles out of his way to go home instead of a 20 minute journey it could take him an hour, iIundsrstandI that is, a compulsion.
 
I dont think he is intrested in you in a way that should be. Iknow quite some autistic people that know how to be in a relationship and how it is supossed to be like. Im not trying to mess things up but I dont think you should keep seeing this guy. I think he actually shows alot of disrespect.
But ofcourse it is up to you!
I think you should reconsider what the relationship benefits for you, like does he really makes you happy? or is it the illusion that makes you happy?
 
Debalem said:
He likes sex and is on a sites to meet women, although he is not successful, he is terrible with money and never has any.
Click to expand...
Debalem said:
We are now nearly 2 years in and I havent met his family, he won't tell me he loves memirme even likes me, he shows little interest in my hobbies
Click to expand...
Two years in what, exactly? Obviously, he doesn't think he's in a relationship. He's just using you for sex and support.
 
Really? How is he your boyfriend if hes on other sites trying to hook up with women?
I dont understand how that is a serious relationship
 
Ive been talking to a guy who has Aspergers and ADHD
He told me that even if another woman showed interest in him, he would turn them women down cause he is interested in me

Im sure thats a proper sign about when a guy has feeling for you
 
Yes, I'm afraid I agree with other people that looking on sites for other women is definitely not a good sign to say the least, this behaviour is not related to being on the autistic spectrum who are commonly more likely to be loyal. Perhaps there's more to this or we have interpreted what you wrote incorrectly?

There are some things that could be autism related however, many autistic people have very limited special interests that they can spend an excessive amount of time doing and are often very good at, while not being interested in much else such as your hobbies. Some autistic people also have difficulty expressing certain emotions, E.g. if they love someone they might find it harder to show it, they can also find it difficult in social situations and may appear to be inconsiderate of other people's emotions. All people on the autistic spectrum are unique however with distinct personalities, some won't show all the common traits, while others may show different traits at varying levels.

Here is some information on Asperger Syndrome and if you scroll down you will see some of the more common traits that are often observed in people on the higher functioning end of the autistic spectrum:

Asperger syndrome - NAS

Many people on the higher functioning end of the autistic spectrum learn to better overcome many traits, yes it is possible to improve over time, but autism isn't "curable" (that's if it should be "cured" since it's not really an illness).

You are definitely not "mad" just for being with someone on the autistic spectrum, there's a lot of very successful long term loving relationships between autistic people and NTs, some are members of this community, however as with any couple there obviously has to be love both ways for it to work.

PS: Welcome to ASPIESCentral.
 
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