Replacing "real relationships" with online socializing?

[Thanatos]

To be frank, I have no friends and my family members and I aren't close at all. Instead of trying to "make friends" I've often turned to online socializing, as it creates a safe distance for me and prevents intimacy pressure. But I know a lot of people may think this is unhealthy. Personally it's worked for me, and I feel a lot more emotionally/socially supported amongst online communities as opposed to having no real life friendships, or a shallow, awkward few.

What do you think of this? Would you say that real life friendships are vital for healthy mental/emotional/or social functioning? Why or why not? Can online socializing help to fill that gap or is it ultimately lacking?

Any thoughts are appreciated.

 

[Spiller]

I think the physicality of real friends and especialy partners is essential. I know from experience that what's termed as touch starvation can be very detrimental.

Online contacts are also real - at least as real as you let them be.. AC is the first social group I've ever been a part of, my best friends are here, I've learned how to have friends.
If I was comfortable in my anonymity at first, I've 'come out' to several people here, and they've done likewise - friendship through this screen is just as real as - and certainly easier to find than - friendship my side of it.

These friendships aren't shallower in any way, they're simply unencumbered by confusing signals.

 

[Mia]

Think that you have to go through a good deal of your life, attempting to have contact with people in real life. It helps you to understand people, under every sort of circumstance. In that way, you learn skills for interaction, you learn who you prefer, who you like to be around, who to avoid, who to trust, you learn about patterns and types of people.

Eventually you can narrow down who you would like to be around, and who to be careful of. Understanding and being able to figure people out, will help you in life. Eventually, you end up with a few people that you trust, who help you to learn about yourself as well. Getting out there, and going though life, makes you intelligent about the multitudes. More able to predict what will happen, yet smart enough to avoid it, if you don't want that particular thing.

 

[Hedgehog Instigator]

To be frank, I have no friends and my family members and I aren't close at all. Instead of trying to "make friends" I've often turned to online socializing, as it creates a safe distance for me and prevents intimacy pressure. But I know a lot of people may think this is unhealthy. Personally it's worked for me, and I feel a lot more emotionally/socially supported amongst online communities as opposed to having no real life friendships, or a shallow, awkward few.

What do you think of this? Would you say that real life friendships are vital for healthy mental/emotional/or social functioning? Why or why not? Can online socializing help to fill that gap or is it ultimately lacking?

Any thoughts are appreciated.

It's important to have at least 2 or 3 real life friends

 

[garnetflower13]

I agree about real life friends, even though I have very low success rate keeping them. But the need is still in me to reach out, so I guess I would risk that from time to time. Having said that, I like knowing that I can come to AC for social interaction!

 

[metalminx24]

My thoughts....it's nice to have friends of any kind. Any person you can relate to, have conversations with, confide in, laugh with is a person worth considering a friend. Of course "real - life" friends are nice, but I don't necessarily think that makes online friendships any less valid. As Spiller said, some of his best friends are here and that's brilliant but Mia is also right with the theory of 'get out there!'

With all that said, don't listen to me, I have zero friends in either world!!

 

[tree]

With all that said, don't listen to me, I have zero friends in either world!!

so what am I?
chopped liver?

 

[Spiller]

.. don't listen to me, I have zero friends in either world!!

How do you spell the sound of a wrong answer buzzer.. NYAAAAAA!!

It's not actually one of the written rules here, but I promise you, you can't have no friends on AC - not allowed!

I look out for your posts metalminx24, you're one of the People.


I try hard to fumble my way through even the few social interactions I have and not very well, really, with them generally.. I can only try to learn a bit from it all, painful as that is, as physically present friends are vital.

 

[metalminx24]

so what am I?
chopped liver?
[emoji14]

Noooo! Not at all!!! I didn't realise I qualified, I don't know when friendship starts, I'm a total aspie in that sense!! I need a banner or a formal letter...tee hee [emoji4]

I like our conversations very much, I didn't mean to stomp on everything with my big clumpy wellies!!

 

[metalminx24]

How do you spell the sound of a wrong answer buzzer.. NYAAAAAA!!

It's not actually one of the written rules here, but I promise you, you can't have no friends on AC - not allowed!

I look out for your posts metalminx24, you're one of the People.

Thank you, very kind man. I will duly clonk myself on the bonce with a wok [emoji6]

 

[Omega]

I'm actually more open here on AC. I do have a few real world friends, but for me it is easier to let things out anonymously. The people here seem to understand me better and I don't know anyone like them personally.

 

[pax]

Think that you have to go through a good deal of your life, attempting to have contact with people in real life. It helps you to understand people, under every sort of circumstance. In that way, you learn skills for interaction, you learn who you prefer, who you like to be around, who to avoid, who to trust, you learn about patterns and types of people.

Eventually you can narrow down who you would like to be around, and who to be careful of. Understanding and being able to figure people out, will help you in life. Eventually, you end up with a few people that you trust, who help you to learn about yourself as well. Getting out there, and going though life, makes you intelligent about the multitudes. More able to predict what will happen, yet smart enough to avoid it, if you don't want that particular thing.

I'm not very good at ascertaining who is a good friend, or even who is likely to be a friendly stranger. I was just thinking of this dilemna earlier today as my husband and I were visiting the off leash dog park. Most dog people are friendly. But by the time I've sized up how my dog is going to react, how the stranger's dog is going to react, and whether this person is likely to give me the time of day, the moment seems to have passed. My husband can do all 3 in a split second, and is carrying on a conversation with them like they are the best of long lost friends. I fear I get judged as that anti-social person, which in that situation, couldn't be further from the truth.

 

[Adora]

I'm the same, in real life I haven't any friends of my own but I seem to be more open here than I am in real life,i do sometimes wish that I could at least have one real life friend but being on here has still help me at least able to have online friends.

 

[Sass]

Online relationships *are* real relationships. Any 'back and forth' where you are sharing things with someone, face-to-face or not, well that is worth a lot.

Some of my best friends I've never met in real life. I have IRL friends that I met through my kids' school, but there's an element of 'behaving' there that I don't feel with my online friends.

I'd actually say online friendships are more beneficial to me, as I'm not constrained by social niceties or expectations, I can just be me. I can also edit what I'm about to say (not that I do that often) before I press 'send', which takes away the fear of blurting out things that aren't advisable LOL