Resetting Filters

[CeasarKungPow]

Hi Again

I am in the process of resetting my filters. I found that my mouth is currently being filtered to such a degree that I have mostly stopped talking unless absolutely necessary.
I've also been practising to keep my meltdowns more to myself, even though it's never easy as they can strike without warning!!!
I have been able to identify some of the tell tale signs of the build-up to them, but this has resulted in almost complete withdrawal. I'm vegan and work in a restaurant that sells a lot of meat. They don't have good hygiene, some smell. When they do things that are wrong I want to shout at them.
I've tried being calm and professional about it, but they say I'm being sarcastic or trying to be clever, even though I am in fact more intelligent than most of them I don't try to flaunt it and feel uncomfortable when someone points it out!!
The smell is so bad that I have moments where I feel the need vomit, even though I don't. People have started to notice
I think part of my problem is that I stopped telling people what's on my mind altogether because they either laugh in my face, get angry or try and tell me how to fix it. They sometimes completely miss the point because I tend to be very long winded in explaining a "simple" matter I don't need fixing, I need everyone to stay away from me and if you're close to me then please shut up!
Not an easy thing when you work in a restaurant where teamwork is an important component to a smooth operation.

Any advice on how to reset the filters? I don't want to lose my job, but have a lot to say, most not pretty.
I don't have patience for small talk.

 

[CeasarKungPow]

I might have got a bit lost with that question, but perhaps I get a good tip and I get less stressed...

 

[Elemental]

Hi

I can identify with the sometimes vomit-inducing smell of even fresh raw meat & that is as somebody who is not currently vegetarian although I have been before. In your current job, it's a difficult one. I've worked in a lot of kitchens & canteens & they are often by nature, fast paced with little room for "additional conversation" when pressure is on to get orders out, so I guess if people are stressed & busy around you, they may not have much time or attention for stuff that you are stressed about, especially if they feel it slows them down. Kitchen staff are usually essential sought-after people in my experience, so a move away into a better i.e. veggie or vegan environment is something you might want to be trying to plan for & work towards? The filter thing, I think so many of us will identify with, it's the ongoing challenge in trying to accommodate our hypersensitivity to a lot of stuff, including much BS which challenges us in life. I liked kitchen work because I had set tasks that were to some degree self contained & within that remit, I was left to get on with my job in peace although I've also experienced bullying at work & so understand how hard that can be. Don't know what else to add except Good Luck & try to look for resolution here.