Resources for getting social interactions

[Victor Krumph]

Hello, I haven't been on here in a few months due to pressures from school. A lot has happened, I've made a couple of friends that I see, I've joined speech therapy in a group setting for my learning disability, I've found a therapist who knows and has dealt with my disorder (which apparently there aren't much where I live), I've applied for resources at my school, and am getting a handle on my first time taking four college level courses at the same time. I feel like I'm approaching some light at the end of a long 20 year long (I'm 20) tunnel but I want to head there even faster. My disability is called NVLD (Non-verbal Learning Disorder) and it has made it really hard to make genuine relationships that last. I've always had this deep, unsettling feeling of being disconnected with those around me even when spending years with them. When I tried to make new ones, they always remained at the surface and takes me substantially more effort to get to that deeper level than the average person. I either come off as cold, matter of fact, or even disingenuous when I don't mean to combined with the fact I have difficulty telling nonverbal cues when someone's uncomfortable, annoyed, etc. and relied on verbal cues that make more sense for my kind of brain.
I've improved, I no longer stand too close to people, I try to keep my laugh genuine without sounding incredulous, I listen better and am better at not offending. However none of this is really intuitive for me nonverbally and I have to learn it like a skill so I still am in the dark in many ways. For instance, I have no idea how to imply I just want to be friends with a female without the implication of wanting more (trust me, I don't, I've been single all my life, I can wait), I sometimes don't know if I'm looking at someone weirdly (most of the time I think I just have a poker face), and these are just the ones I know or suspect, I have no real idea of just what I'm missing out on. Any help would be appreciated, it can just be advice or just sometime to talk I guess. Whatever you feel is best, thanks!

 

[Outdated]

I can relate to a lot of what you are saying, I was given speech therapy when I was 7. Being able to speak well became one of the most powerful tools that I use to get through life. Both socially and in business, first impressions are crucial because if you get that badly wrong there is no second chance.

Improving your social skills happens in exactly the same way you improve your speaking skills - practice.

Of course you're going to make mistakes, we all do, but that's how we learn. Try not to be too hard on yourself about this, just use past experiences as lessons and try again. It's a known trend among autistic people that our social maturity takes longer to establish itself than it does with NTs.

 

[Georgia Galaxy]

I can relate to a lot of what you are saying, I was given speech therapy when I was 7. Being able to speak well became one of the most powerful tools that I use to get through life. Both socially and in business, first impressions are crucial because if you get that badly wrong there is no second chance.

Improving your social skills happens in exactly the same way you improve your speaking skills - practice.

Of course you're going to make mistakes, we all do, but that's how we learn. Try not to be too hard on yourself about this, just use past experiences as lessons and try again. It's a known trend among autistic people that our social maturity takes longer to establish itself than it does with NTs.

It sure does, in fact it took me all my life to get this good ,D And apparently there were rules I should've been taught as a kid, but wasn't! And I didn't try enough because I always thought I would fail. Still feel that way about some things (like using keys which I've always struggled with) but I give it a try anyway!