Rules

[buckyboy14]

How do you deal with people breaking the rules of things? It has always been one of the hardest things for me to overcome. In elementary school, we would play board games during indoor recess, and they wouldn't play by the rules, but I was the only one bothered by it. I would always have meltdowns. In gym class, when we played kickball, some kids would never kick and just let others cut in front of them all the time, and since I could never cut in front of somebody, I could never kick. There are many more examples of this. My therapists always brought up "soft rules" and how I needed to try to abide by those, but I still have a LOT of trouble with that. For example, in the "Tragedie of the Aspies" play we're doing here, it upsets me when someone switches to another character, because the rules say that you need to stay as one character. Does anyone else have problems like this?

 

[Loomis]

It is interesting to me that aspies all have unique sets of stuff that annoy them. The one you describe does not bother me. I think this diversity among us argues for the concept of autism being much more than a disability. It is why I believe the word spectrum is so apt. We are as diverse as the NTs, just different. Sorry I can't be more help on this particular annoyance.

 

[consultingrodent]

i've been bothered by that sort of thing before. i guess as i've grown up, i've come to realize people are going to do whatever it is they want regardless. now i'm more upset when people break MY rules for things.

 

[shoukori]

I am also extremely bothered by people flaunting rules, but only if i can see the reason the rule is in place, in other words i can see what the purpose is and it is benefits people. (for example I've been known to speed down the highway, not obeying the rules there I guess, but I keep it within reasonable limits)

I can be very bothered by people breaking small rules if I think it has an effect on others. For example, I was at an event today where people drove up to unload some stuff out of their car and were told to park in front of the building after they were finished. Many people never moved their cars from the unloading zone, despite the rules clearly saying that is what should be done. I get very annoyed at this behavior, even though I expect it, and I always move my car from the unloading zone and park in front. Nothing much I can do about the 10 or 20 people who didn't do so, though. I have learned to compartmentalize certain feelings of frustration and just ignore them, because if I think about it too much it will just make me crazy.

 

[kg4fxg]

It is a difficult subject. Seeing that rules are broken so easily I feel no guilt to avid by them especially if they make no sense. My motto, rules are meant to be broken.

 

[Soup]

As a Canadian Aspie (a double whammy!) I can get nuts when it comes to rules. As I get older, I'm more flexible & selective. Most rules are there to render coexistence easier for everyone & to maximize safety. Those rules I'm careful to follow. Those that are foolish, I'm more likely to challenge. Here in QC, many rules seem to change by unwritten consensus. For example:

The municipality I reside in allows people to have dogs. They charge citizens for a license & you can only get one IF you can prove your dog's rabies shots are up to date. They give you a discount if your dog is spayed/neutered. There's 1 dog park that doesn't provide a separate section for large dogs. GREAT! So if you take a Chihuahua there, there's a fair chance that it'll get accidentally trampled by larger dogs or mistaken for a canape by a Newfoundlander, a Tibetan Mastiff or a Rottweiler!

The long rambling cycling path runs though parks, along the river, through natural wooded areas etc. There are signs saying no dogs allowed warning people about a fine. Where the heck are people supposed to walk the dogs the city allows them to have & charges all kinds of fees for? The moon? People decided to ignore this dumb law & nobody cares providing:

1. Your dog is on a leash
2. You scoop your dog's poop immediately & discard the closed bag in a garbage receptacle.
3. Your dog isn't aggressive (or a barking nuisance)
4. Your dog is walked by the edge of the path or the grass beside it so as not to interfere with cyclists & roller-bladers.

 

[Loomis]

. Here in QC, many rules seem to change by unwritten consensus...People decided to ignore this dumb law & nobody cares providing:

1. Your dog is on a leash
2. You scoop your dog's poop immediately & discard the closed bag in a garbage receptacle.
3. Your dog isn't aggressive (or a barking nuisance)
4. Your dog is walked by the edge of the path or the grass beside it so as not to interfere with cyclists & roller-bladers.

That is amazing and totally cool that rules so specific and detailed could be created by the citizenry.

 

[King_Oni]

That's why I rather not deal with people on a basis where rules are not enforced strictly.

If people don't care for rules, why should I care? If we're playing soccer and someone breaks a rule... then by all means, all bets are off and we could turn it into a bout of fisticuffs. The fact that people agree on rules, especially with games, keep to those rules... and know them. I see no reason to ever play with people (or just in general participate with said people) in said games.

A reason why I rather play games digitally rather than "analogue" is because of a strict rulessystem. No one does something illegal and not part of the game.

As for laws... let's put it this way; when I was a kid I wanted to become a policeofficer... after seeing the movie Judge Dredd (the old one with Stallone; but the comics do fine as well). Then those dreams crumbled because that wasn't an accurate depiction of keeping lawbreakers in line. And to be honest, I sometimes have to restrain myself to not involve myself with something I see that is "illegal". As such there's a reason I try to not take an interest in other peoples behaviour since it gets me kinda frustrated with law and the failure to reprimand people for doing such things.

Funnily enough I once got in trouble at a job, for being too strict with rules. If a company, and a company that deals with medical equipment nonetheless, doesn't care about regulations, just to make more money, then yes... I'll complain about it since it doesn't sit right with me. Obviously I knew I could get fired for not walking "in line", but for me there's something like principles.

A thing I could state about the dog thing Soup posted. Yes, I feel that if you have laws, at least cover "every option". Make it unneccesary that people make up their own laws. I see those things a lot, and the little rebel in me always looks for way to break them. I don't do anything illegal in that sense, but I just exploit a law, which should be crafted more meticulously. Laws should never rely on common sense. I feel that those laws are the ones that get broken and exploited most, since everyone has an approximate of "common sense" but there is no absolute value in common sense that sticks around for decades.

 

[Soup]

King_Oni,

You're right about that! Unwritten rules aren't enforceable by anyone & rely on people's good intentions & honour. There's always someone who will let their dog poop right in the middle of the path & won't clean up the mess (one particular miscreant has a giant St.Bernard!) It's awkward because everyone is outraged, but nobody really wants to confront a big rude guy with a giant dog.

Had the municipality done its job & drafted the laws sensibly in the first place, the citizenry wouldn't have been placed in such an awkward position. For the most part, it works out well. With few exceptions, people are respectful of the unwritten consensus. Even when there are written laws, there are those who deliberately flout them any ways.