Say Cheese!

[Vanilla]

Hey guys

This post is a bit of a light-hearted topic; just wanted to see who else can say that they too are guilty of this.

I see a few Aspies in my day-to-day life, and one thing I've noticed (that I too have been guilty of), is that we don't like to smile for photos; it's often either a neutral stare, or a forced, closed-mouth, smile. I thought that this was sort of an odd phenomena, and so decided to look in to it some more, and found this:

Children with Autism: The Struggle to Smile

Of course this only mentions children, but it's still relevant. Of course not all Aspies would do this, and even those that do may smile occasionally, but I though it was rather interesting.

 

[Sparticus]

I used to be a photograper. Feel safer behind the camera. Unless I know the person
very well and feel comfortable with them. Many people say I don't smile enough for the camera.

 

[Dark]

Well chalk another one up for "things I do that are explained by autism." Getting me to smile properly for family photos has never been anything less than a Sisyphean task for my poor mother.

 

[King_Oni]

I don't smile on pictures either, but I don't know why I would either. Perhaps it could go on towards the topic of "odd social norms".

If anything I'm probably bothered by the fact that too many people put up a smile on a picture... perhaps because I know it's a picture and that there's this notion that people smile on pictures and thus it just comes across as fake and insincere to me. Perhaps the entire "smile on command" bothers me as well

 

[Vanilla]

I don't smile on pictures either, but I don't know why I would either. Perhaps it could go on towards the topic of "odd social norms".

If anything I'm probably bothered by the fact that too many people put up a smile on a picture... perhaps because I know it's a picture and that there's this notion that people smile on pictures and thus it just comes across as fake and insincere to me. Perhaps the entire "smile on command" bothers me as well

Yeah, I imagine that's why a lot of Aspies don't smile. Smiling in photos of course looks friendlier, but it is like you said, usually on demand.

 

[King_Oni]

Yeah, I imagine that's why a lot of Aspies don't smile. Smiling in photos of course looks friendlier, but it is like you said, usually on demand.

I sometimes wonder if there's something with my processing in that regard. I never considered smiles to be more or less friendly. I can recognize some facial expressions, but they never give me a certain feeling when I perceive them. Even angry facial expressions often need to be paired with screaming and other antics for me to perceive it as threatening (and luckily that's usually what it's paired with)

 

[Vanilla]

I sometimes wonder if there's something with my processing in that regard. I never considered smiles to be more or less friendly. I can recognize some facial expressions, but they never give me a certain feeling when I perceive them. Even angry facial expressions often need to be paired with screaming and other antics for me to perceive it as threatening (and luckily that's usually what it's paired with)

Yeah, subtle anger can be hard to pick, but I tend to go the opposite way. I can sense anger, even when it's only mild, and so I can think someone is angry, when they're only a little frustrated. This throws them off when I then ask if they're angry, and they say "no, why would you think that?"

As much as I don't like forcing a smile though, I do prefer to see smiles

 

[tlc]

My photos have always been a forced smile. I don't like it, and have tried and tried but just can't do anything otherwise.

 

[wyverary]

All throughout my childhood I had ENORMOUS difficulty smiling, at least on demand.

By now (I'm in my 20s) I've finally learned to produce a small, slightly coy little smile that I think looks perfectly natural and charming, BUT, whenever I'm having my photo taken, usually as a group, for whatever reason it's never nearly enough for the photographer. Why the hell not?! I AM smiling, dammit! I'm being as genuine as I possibly can; I literally can't feign a smile, it has to be absolutely genuine. Faking a smile is impossible and it's only going to make it look absolutely horrendous. And it seems wholly unnecessary to begin with. I don't want to look like a plastic doll in every picture I'm in, as I think so many do when this is imposed on them. The photos where people have that huge fake grin repulse me; I'll have no part in it, thank you very much!

 

[Vanilla]

All throughout my childhood I had ENORMOUS difficulty smiling, at least on demand.

By now (I'm in my 20s) I've finally learned to produce a small, slightly coy little smile that I think looks perfectly natural and charming, BUT, whenever I'm having my photo taken, usually as a group, for whatever reason it's never nearly enough for the photographer. Why the hell not?! I AM smiling, dammit! I'm being as genuine as I possibly can; I literally can't feign a smile, it has to be absolutely genuine. Faking a smile is impossible and it's only going to make it look absolutely horrendous. And it seems wholly unnecessary to begin with. I don't want to look like a plastic doll in every picture I'm in, as I think so many do when this is imposed on them. The photos where people have that huge fake grin repulse me; I'll have no part in it, thank you very much!

Aw...there, there Wyv

 

[wyverary]

Aw...there, there Wyv

"No, wyv, tell us what you REALLY think!"

 

[Turk]

They dont call me Derek Zoolander for nothing, when the camera comes out. Unfortunately, while trying to escape the lens, and in true Aspie fashion, I dont know which way to run and usually end up colliding with something. The end result is, the Magnum look crossed with a hint of, Deer in headlight.

 

[Vanilla]

They dont call me Derek Zoolander for nothing, when the camera comes out. Unfortunately, while trying to escape the lens, and in true Aspie fashion, I dont know which way to run and usually end up colliding with something. The end result is, the Magnum look crossed with a hint of, Deer in headlight.

Haha, nice

 

[Aspieistj]

People smile when the emotion tells the face to smile. Aspies don't do emotions terribly well. Aspies see in black and white and smiling when not happy or amused is fake. I NEVER take a decent picture because I feel foolish faking a smile. Interesting---not too long ago, as I stood in front of a mirror washing my hands, something nice flashed through my mind and I smiled spontaneously. I was absolutely amazed at how pleasant I looked with a genuine smile.

 

[Tarragon]

Phew! It's not just me!!!!!

I have only learnt how to do this relatively recently. A fake smile yes, and I can hold it for a few seconds before getting bored/self conscious/irritated etc. It's not an emotional smile though. Not on demand. Not to pose for a photo!

I prefer to take photos, not pose for them.

 

[Andy R]

Same here! I don't have a genuine smile. Gig photographers take a lot of photos of me and the band. I always look really glum, even though I'm having a great time

 

[rollerskate]

I did that for years and years, mostly because I just found full smiles looked weird and I also didn't like how fake or goofy they always seemed to look. It's only been in recent years that I've started showing teeth, and I've learned how to make them look more warm and more genuine. Although now I'm so good at even faking a smile that no one else sees the problem when I complain about a picture looking fake because I know it was. That's why I prefer selfies... I can make sure I catch a real smile that way.

 

[tlc]

I can't even get a real smile with selfies, which are 90% of the time. Considering all the time I like to spend alone, my best friend is my tripod and timer. Good for getting pics of my daughter and me on our quiet travel adventures too. Actually she's usually the same way, it's either a crazy silly forced smile or nothing.

 

[Sparticus]

Don't know your business but as a former photographer will give you a hint. If possible try to introduce yourself to photographers. Buy them a drink, shake their hand etc. Not sure if this is possible per your schedule demands. But I've found as a public speaker [and photographer] when I get to meet people before business, I'm much more at ease.

Just don't go pointing no camera at me! Unless of course, I got to know you. Good luck on your gigs!!!!!

Same here! I don't have a genuine smile. Gig photographers take a lot of photos of me and the band. I always look really glum, even though I'm having a great time

 

[meff]

God yeah, I've always had a difficult time smiling on command for photos on command, selfies or otherwise. I always feel creepy and it never looks good to me. Thankfully most pictures people take of me are candid so I'm either looking away and/or already smiling cause I'm having fun. I've personally learned that if I do need to fake a smile, I just think of something funny and it's way easier to get something more natural out of it. I know that doesn't work for everyone, though.
I get so sick of people asking me why I'm upset when I'm not smiling in a picture. I'm having fun, I swear!