Scared about going back to work again

[SpaceCadet]

Hi - I was recently diagnosed (by the V.A.) as an aspie and while it didn't really surprise me, I've been pretty depressed about it. Also I've been on SSDI for several years now - for unrelated, physical stuff - but I've improved a lot and I'd really like to go back to work again. I've worked retail in the past and know I could get back doing that, but being a typical (?) aspie, of course I hate that stuff! (although I CAN do it... pretty much). I'd love to just do data entry in a corner all day and not have to talk to people. Or deal with their stupid birthday parties and hear about their kids. And get asked questions about my (totally nonexistent) social life. Fortunately I live in an area (Boston) where "doing data entry in a corner all day" is probably, actually a possibility. The economy is good here and I know I could get a job... of some sort. But the interview part is a killer - do they all hate aspies in interviews? - plus there would be all the annoyance of dealing with commuter rail & subway on a DAILY basis (yikes) when I have a physical disability. So in a way I just want to hide at home and hang out with the cat!

 

[Rocco]

Welcome aboard

 

[Mia]

Welcome SpaceCadet

You sound a little conflicted, about what to do that is. Did quite a bit of commuting for a awhile, and once I got used to it I liked it. Gave me some time to read and or listen to music every day and prepare myself for the day ahead. But commuting is not for everyone, might depend on how long it will take for you to get used to it.

I'm an aspie and so is my husband, he eventually tailored his job so that he worked only evenings, when no one else wanted to, less traffic, fewer people and phone-calls, essentially computer stuff. Then he returned home after I'd gone to bed, and had an hour or two or three to decompress and do things he liked.

 

[SpaceCadet]

Thanks, Mia and Rocco. I THINK the commute itself will probably be all right. I'm more worried about having to talk to people and having nothing to say. Since this disability hit (the physical one) I've got really out of practice at being around people. Even when I do go out, it's usually to a meditation group or something like that (i.e. not much talking!).

 

[SpaceCadet]

Sportster: Thanks! I was wondering, where do the "Aspie scores" and "Neurotypical scores" etc. come from - are those tests on THIS site or from somewhere else? Although I've been officially diagnosed, I'm not familiar yet with what that stuff means.

 

[Tom]

Hi & Welcome
the difficulties you face will likely be different from the ones you imagine. so might as well give it a go and see what they are.

 

[Elemental]

where do the "Aspie scores" and "Neurotypical scores" etc. come from

Hi SpaceCadet Those self test links were available on this site although I can't locate them, currently.

Re: working, I always found jobs easier where I could work mainly alone & also on night shifts which were quieter times, with less people about. I didn't know it was because of ASD that I did this, like a lot of things lol. Welcome to our community!

 

[SpaceCadet]

Tom & Elemental: It's true - in younger days I managed to do a lot in work life that was intimidating, but it was always different than I feared going in. And since I saw it all as inevitable & unavoidable I did it anyway. Even the military, although not easy, wasn't overwhelming.

Oh yeah I "knew" something was "wrong with me" but since I didn't have a name for it or a context, it was easy to think, "well maybe I'm just imagining that." Even later when I read a lot about autism and suspected it, I was still telling myself, "well... you don't know that for sure." But now I DO know that for sure! I've read that sometimes there's a long period of depression after an official diagnosis, most people get over it, but I'm definitely not there yet. I realize maybe it's a little ridiculous because I suspected it for years anyway so nothing has really "changed," exactly.

I should add that like some aspies I have pretty severe prosopagnosia (face blindness), so in any larger work environment where I encountered co-workers "out of context" so to speak, there were a lot of awkward situations!