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Seeking to understand the end of a friendship

B

Bess L.

New Member
Hello. I am trying to understand why a close friend of 2 years has suddenly stopped our friendhip. We were best friends for 2 years and had a lot of fun together. She was always a little mean to me. And she was always annoyed that our husbands developed a friendship of their own. but i decided to look past that because we had so much fun together. Then she got a diagnosis of "high functioning autism" and suddenly everything about me was "annoying" and "neuro-typical". She started getting really mean towards anyone with a difference of opinion - looking down on everything from my choice of dog treats to my love of colorful clothes. One day she texted me and said that she was having a really hard time with a family members illness and i wrote back that "i know things can be hard. I had a hard time with my own situation, so I'm here to talk if you ever need an ear". She said "thank you friend"
A day later her husband called my husband and asked to be on speaker phone, he told me that my text was selfish and that i would never understand because im neurotypical. I asked him to explain because i didnt understand. He wouldnt explain. I then texted them to say my feelings were really hurt and i want to know what i did wrong. They have not responded. My "best friend" just ghosted on me for that! I'm really hurt that someone who i was very close with would just not care about me anymore. Is this typical for autism? I dont know if i should try to reach out again or just accept that she hates me for being neurotypical. I've been really hurt by this and have cried a lot over it. I thought we had such a good, fun friendship but it seems that she doesnt care at all about my feelings. I dont understand what happened and i dont understand why they wont tell me.
 
No. Speaking as someone officially diagnosed with Autism, Schizotypal, and ADHD. That is not the norm for all of us. Each is an individual and unique.
To be honest it sounds like a ploy to break your husbands friend ship with hers.
 
yes and everyone is entitled to break with everyone at all times. Just remember that you had good times with some people sometimes. In the future, someone else will come along.

I just had two friends and a person had me round last week (all within terms). That was after a year with no contacts.
 
I don't believe it is typical behavior of autism at all. Probably some other negative personality traits she has.

I think an opportunity to break away from them may be a blessing in disguise.
 
Goodness no. No one gets a free pass. If you act like a jerk and you have autism, you are a jerk with autism. A lot of us (most of us) are very kind and would never treat you badly. Stick around a while and see :-)
 
Thats very insightful and i appreciate it. I think maybe you are right that she wanted more to break up the friendship between our husbands. I am going to stop worrying that i did some horrible offensive thing and just accept the rejection. Thank you for helping me with another point of view.
 
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