Selective Mutism

[Skylark]

This aspect of Asperger's intrigues me. I was a quiet, shy child, not good at socialising but good at reading and writing and in secondary school, speech and drama when I was able to stand and speak in front of a crowd. Put me *in* the crowd, however, and I would struggle knowing what to say.

I have times now where I prefer to be silent...and times when I wish to say something but physically cannot get the words out. Sometimes I'll try to say something brief in passing like 'thanks' or 'hi' and my mouth moves but there's no voice. Other times it is more like brain dysfunction - I can't remember the right word, mix up sounds or say the wrong word.

My neurons don't seem to be firing consistently.

Other times I am too chatty. I notice myself dominating the conversation and inwardly cringe at the runaway train of thought...with little idea how to stop gracefully.

Then there's my daydreaming...in which I'm often mute. One of my interests is sign language, though I've not managed to learn it as a skill, just the odd sign here and there. I can always hear (my hearing is actually very good though I miss meanings - and can seem a bit deaf - due to auditary processing disorder).

But I digress...I'm interested to hear about manifestations of muteness in Asperger's. This is sort of new to me as I've only realised myself as being autistic in the past few months.

 

[zoedundas]

My brain freezes up and I literally cannot think of a single thing to say. It's really awkward and happens in social situations where there's more than one or two people. I end up sitting silent and ignored and just praying that I can leave soon.

 

[Beverly]

You don't want to have to deal with me for the first hour or so after I wake from a deep sleep. I think just fine but, somewhere between thinking and making my mouth say it, everything gets garbled into something unintelligible.

I do loose my words now and then, especially if asked a surprise question. I've very good at replying "I can't comment on that now." or faking a suddenly dry throat and needing a sip of water, then asking the person to repeat the question they asked before my supposed dry throat interrupted the conversation.

If it happens when I can't find an easy temporary escape. I simply apologize "Sorry, lot my train of though for a moment. What was that again?" with a smile and a slight chuckle, works every time. Apparently even NTs loose their train of thought now and then.

It does happen more than I would like, more than I see it happen to NTs but, years of practice have made me pretty good at covering for it. When al else fails, go back to the previous topic and add something new, as if you hadn't finished speaking your thoughts on that and, the other person interrupted you. "Yes but, back to [previous topic] I feel [proceed to expound on your opinion for one or two sentences.]" that's a last resort cover up for loosig it a bit in a social situation but, it still works as long as you don't use it more than onece in the same conversation.

Sometimes at home, I simply want to be quiet and, that's my prerogative at home. Respect it or don't, I really don't care, I won't speak to you unless I choose to do so in my home.

 

[unsurewhattoname]

Not sure if it counts, but for my entire childhood I simply could not speak to adults with the exception of close family. One particular TA tormented me every day about it. While I can speak to adults now it's still in there and I'm incredibly nervous constantly if there's a situation I need to speak to an adult. No idea why, it's existed my entire life and it's annoying because I know it's irrational. I have no idea what's up with that.

 

[Jonathan Lees]

i sympathize with you all, i am fortunate to never have been unable to speak but i do get extremely nervous and awkward.

 

[Skylark]

My instances of mutism are very brief...but it does worry me a bit that I may get stuck in such a state! Maybe it's just balancing those times when I get stuck in chatterbox mode

 

[TSS]

I can definitely empathize with you. One time at the grocery store I got so stuck in not being able to talk that the cashier started to sign to me. I just had the feeling of wanting to get out of there as fast as I can. I have a hard time coming up with things to say in conversations.

 

[blueskies]

Hi Skylark! I have similar problems with mutism.

I have trouble just saying hi, even though there's nothing to fear. It's like someone pushed a mute button on me and I can't physically speak. There are times I have something to say but I can't get the words out, and other times I can't think of anything to say or can only come up with sentence fragments. It's frustrating. I have watched videos on how to make conversation which has helped a little, but I still remain silent most of the time. Growing up I was always quiet and rarely said anything, and that hasn't really changed much. I'm so quiet some people tend to forget I exist.

 

[ancusmitis]

Funny, I never thought of the times when I couldn't say anything as selective mutism. Used to happen a lot, but not any more. I think I may have identified the situations where it occurred and began systematically avoiding them. But I've also started eating better and quit drinking since then. Other things still apply to me, like failing to get the right word out or even think of what it is. I like to think I've gotten better at a lot of things in my life, but I do still have issues.