Selective mutism.

[Daydreamer]

As a young child, I used to be selectively mute. This lasted just under a year. I wouldn't speak to anyone except my sister, not even to my parents. Often I would use my sister as a translator, I'd speak to her and she could tell others what I wanted. The adults in my life put my hesitancy to speak down to the fact I was insecure about my stutter and slight lisp that I possessed.

I also did not communicate in any form, including written and body language (no eye contact, very little in terms of hand signalling and rather inward facing stances). Speech therapy changed my life. It gave me the confidence to start speaking in public, and I started to write again. Plus, I later discovered a passion for writing stories. My body language also greatly improved, which is quite evident when I look back on old photos of myself (before the speech therapy VS after).

For someone that used to be selectively mute, I sure do talk a lot these days. Were you selectively mute? If so, what was your experience like? Do you still struggle with it?

Personally, usually I don't but if I'm ever in a situation where I get nervous then sometimes I start stuttering and/or can't seem to talk or form words. Occasionally I've pretended not to speak English. However, when I'm around friends (or just anyone I happen to feel comfortable around) you'd have a hard time trying to shut me up if you ever attempted such a feat.

 

[Ezra]

Still am. Mainly due to apraxia of speech.

 

[Illumination]

I have no idea if I was ever "selectively mute" as a Child, but I would assume I was as I do tend to have some selective mutism today, or rather I just don't feel like speaking to people sometimes, or speaking to most strangers.
(If I do speak to strangers, I will have a lot of problems with speech and most social things either way).

It's not what you asked, but I do know I didn't speak (only babble) into around 4 years old, and my parents said I was quiet most of my childhood.

 

[LadyBird84]

My parents told me I didn't speak much as a young child. It wasn't until much later when I accidentally ran into my old kindergarten teacher and she told me I didn't speak at all for 2 years (!). After that I got a different teacher so it could have been longer. I asked my parents and they told me I wouldn't speak to adults but would speak to kids. For some reason that didn't make them worry. (Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had been diagnosed then.) I don't remember what it was like, but I'm still not a fan of talking.

 

[Daydreamer]

It's not what you asked, but I do know I didn't speak (only babble) into around 4 years old, and my parents said I was quiet most of my childhood.

I was a fairly quiet baby, didn't cry much. Started to develop language at a typical rate (aside from the stuttering and lisp everything was fairly normal) and I was making attempts at writing before the age of four. However, when I joined Primary school that's when things started to change. I began to withdraw from my peers and teachers. The change wasn't immediate, I just began to slowly write less and less until I wasn't writing anything at all. Sometimes I'd apparently get up during lesson time and walk outside so I could sit alone.

My behaviour worried those around me, so my teachers kept a close eye on it and wrote notes for several weeks detailing my choices. They mentioned how I didn't like crowds (that certainly hasn't changed) and that I used to play with the sandbox but there were too many other students, so I would go to the fake construction site. Apparently I didn't seem all that invested in actually playing with the items properly, and that I would just pick up an item to drop it on the floor and repeat this action trying to waste time and avoid others.

When I reached five years old things were much better. I made some fairly silly social mistakes, such as punching someone because I didn't realise they were playfully teasing rather than seriously insulting me, but overall I managed to maintain friendships and socialise effectively.

 

[mangodude]

when i was small i didn't speak much to anyone, but i recited books/poetry/songs from memory to no one in particular.

and yes i was and still am selectively mute.
when i am at city center and in the situation when i have to speak, i use foreign language.
when i feel like person is being rude to me or i am being uncomfortable around them, i pretend they don't exist (this caused me so many problems! but i can't help it).

 

[Gritches]

I was selectively mute from about 10 to 19. Nobody cared that I couldn't talk to anyone but my parents, so there was never any attempt to fix that. Being the youngest in my family, I was more like an item than a person, so as long as I kept getting good grades nobody cared. Never crossed my mind to tank my grades on purpose.

If anything involving my inability to communicate came up, it was chalked up to "shyness". I got by because my parents thought I was an incompetent idiot and so they always did things for me, figuring I couldn't do them myself, which wasn't entirely untrue due to the selective mutism.

I got over it when a friendly girl who didn't exactly buy into mainstream society (she was punk/goth) made it her mission to make me talk. And through her incorrigibility I eventually sort of..."broke the seal" I guess. In the years following, I got better and better, more and more confident, and today you can't shut me up.

 

[aspiechic]

I know that I was “shy” in school and I don’t remember if I talked. It’s hard to say for sure what I would’ve been like if I’d stayed in one school but I changed schools about every year so I didn’t really talk to anyone anyways - I was always the new kid and kept to myself. It didn’t bother me at all that I didn’t have friends. As far as now - if I can’t think of what would be good to say to someone - I just don’t say. People will talk to me and I just listen and never say anything even when they expect an answer. I’m like - how do you expect me to respond to that? I don’t know how to respond so I don’t. It’s funny - I feel like I can have conversations with people who know me without ever speaking at all lol - I just give them looks and they’ve learned to interpret my looks lol And will respond and I give another look lol - we have a whole conversation with me just giving looks lol. I like those kinds of conversations lol.

 

[Myway]

At work I do this sometimes. New people don’t hear my voice for about 6 months. Then I say a word or two maybe. If they are lucky. I don’t talk to too many people. Makes me anxious to talk.

 

[Monachopia]

I was a very shy child, but I think I did talk a bit when spoken to, even if it was a few words. I've always had social anxiety and shyness though, so making friends at any age was almost impossible. Though, the bullying about my appearance from a very young age must have contributed to my inability to talk to people.

When depression started at around the age of 13, I slowly regressed into a complete inability to speak in any setting that wasn't home. This was from about age 14-18. At school I didn't speak a word, some people thought I was 'arrogant' I'd been told. Or just a freak. The nightmare scenario was when I was called on in class or was made to do a speech. I'd freeze and the only thing I was capable of doing was shaking my head or shrugging my shoulders.

I was able to speak to people online, but face to face was almost impossible, so much so, that if I had made a friend online, I would ask them if it's ok to write on a pad if we met in real life. The first time I met my first boyfriend, I had my sister with me to help me talk and I wrote some stuff on my phone for him to read as a way of making conversation.

I found a 'conversation' between myself and a different ex in a pad recently from even just after I turned 19 - we were having some fight, so clearly if I became overwhelmed I'd lose the ability to speak.

I only realised that this was 'selective mutism' years later.. I still freeze up in larger groups of people, especially if there's someone I don't know. If it's people I've known a few years then I'm a bit more relaxed. Strangely enough, one-to-one conversations are usually ok now, even with a stranger, up to a certain point.