Self-diagnosed Aspie looking for guidance

[Nannerl]

Hello,

I hope there isn't a taboo against self-diagnosis here. I'm a 20-year-old university student who'd like to seek an AS diagnosis, but diagnostic services for adults seem to be either non-existent or very costly in my city.

Here are some of the AS-associated traits I exhibit:

• Lack of social skills. Since early childhood, I've found it difficult to relate to others and nearly impossible to initiate or maintain friendships with people around my age. Maintaining focus in a social situation is mentally exhausting.
• Difficulty with small talk. However, I'm great at talking at length about things I'm interested in, but since that bores people, I generally cope by being mute and antisocial.
• Some hypersensitivity to sound, taste, and touch. Noisy neighbours stress me out more than others around me. Sometimes, I can hear distant sounds that other people say they can't or don't pay attention to. My boyfriend says I'm a picky eater. I avoid wearing denim and certain kinds of polyester clothing; they feel uncomfortable, like sandpaper on my skin.
• Poor motor control since the toddler years. As an adult, my clumsiness tends to manifest with me dropping things I'm holding onto unexpectedly and bumping into hard surfaces in the home, resulting in bruises. I'm also horrific at sports.
• Problems following verbal instructions. Advice on the level of "it's around the corner, on your left" is a great way for me to get lost and/or frustrated.
• Habit of rocking back and forth or tapping my foot incessantly when I feel particularly anxious or bored.
• Tendency to go into too much detail when explaining something compared to NTs. This stems from a desire to be as clear and precise as possible to avoid being misunderstood.
• Speaking of the above... tendency to be misunderstood and offend others unintentionally. I try to avoid this by being polite and a people pleaser, but when it does happen, it's deeply frustrating and painful, as I really don't want to hurt anyone.
• Difficulty with "executive functions" such as organization, time management, and working memory, especially in relation to schooling and employment. This is currently a huge source of anxiety for me.

One other challenge is the fact that I'm a former child abuse victim, and as early childhood abuse and neglect can just as likely impair one's development, it's hard to know when the AS-related traits start and end. I'm currently experiencing depression for the second time in my life for reasons including trauma from past memories, suicidal thoughts, and generally feeling like an outcast because of those traits mentioned above.

I first heard of Aspies Central years ago, but creating an account is a big step for me. I'd to know if other Aspies think I have AS and hope I'll have a nice time here.

 

[Kari Suttle]

I'm self diagnosed too. Its certainly not a taboo, plenty of us on here are only self diagnosed. It sounds from your description like you very well could be an aspie, too. I have executive functioning issues with work and school too. I mostly cope by writing everything down and echoing back things of importance to make sure I heard it right, for example. I wouldn't get anything done without lists haha.

 

[StephF]

Hi there,

The traits you describe are certainly common in people with Autism Spectrum conditions. What country are you in ?

When you mentioned suicidal thoughts then it sounds like you could benefit from talking to someone professional but I can't offer you any advice as I don't know where you live. I'm in England.

There are a lot of nice people here and I'd hope you can get some support from them. I think AC is a great place.
Hang in there

 

[Adder1234]

Don't worry too much about being self diagnosed, I've met a lot of Aspies that are. Either way I'm sure that everyone here will be happy to help you out with any problems you have.

 

[Suzanne]

Hey there, I am also self diagnosed, so don't fear that you will be ousted. I felt that way too and it is quite the opposite!

Other than the depression, I could be reading about me oh and sensitivity toward's certain clothes, but do not like being touched.

Do you also get into obsessions? Since I found out that is what happens to me ( my husband told me), I try to keep away from being obsessed and when I feel it coming, I do try to control it, and so far, have not had a serious obsession.

Oh goodness me, that is amazing, for I too always go into detail. I just cannot summerise. It feels like: well I have to say that, to say that and so forth and also like you, try to be clear.

Yep on long winded talks and so forth.

You really have found a great forum. When ever I another aspie is going through a rough time, I always give this website!

There I was stimming on reading your post and laughed when I came to the part about stimming. I also stim when excited or inspired.

 

[WereBear]

The nice thing about self-diagnosing is that you have a better idea of who you are, and what you need.

 

[Tom]

Hi & Welcome,
No one can make a diagnosis of course. That will take some medical professionals and testing, etc. But for what its worth those do sound like a typical array of HFA symptoms so you are certainly looking in a logical direction. I hope you can come to a clear conclusion. Not everyone seeks a formal diagnosis. It depends upon many factors like if accomodations are needed or symptoms are severe enough to hinder standard progression.

 

[WereBear]

Have you taken the Aspie Quiz? A lot of us put our scores in our signatures, like me.

http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

It is a good way of seeing where you might fit, and it's anonymous.

 

[Elemental]

Hi Nannerl Welcome to Central. I relate to a lot of the stuff you wrote too. This site really is great, people do participate & care. ☺

 

[Astroganga]

Welcome

 

[Nannerl]

Thank you for the warm responses! I'm pretty shy and not sure where else to go on the forums next, but it's nice to meet everyone.

To StephF, I live in Toronto, Canada. If anyone knows of any affordable diagnostic services for adults here, please let me know.

Suzanne, no, I don't think I have any particularly intense obsessions as you describe them. However, I do have a wide variety of interests that I juggle, so I guess that's similar. It's nice to hear someone else relates so much.

WereBear, I haven't encountered the quiz you linked until now, but I tried a different one online some time ago and scored quite highly.

 

[WereBear]

I had my own reasons to get diagnosed, which happened Saturday, but you might have different ones, and would be content to know for yourself.

Either way, I urge you to consider coping strategies, and especially, maybe not try so darn hard? I am suffering a severe illness from my own decades-long attempts to do so, unknowingly.

I just hope I get better.

 

[ManfromMars]

I'm new also, but Welcome! I hope to learn from others such as yourself. I have no advice on this
subject yet, but sounds like plenty of others do.