Self diagnosis of possible aspergers

[Raymond herman]

Sorry for the long post. I may have aspergers but idk for sure. Idk what my true disability is.. I had Behavior problems and would act out voilently when i was a kid, and learning difficulties growing up. i also would flap my hands and arms a lot when i was a kid. as i got older i grew out of it and can control it more better then ever. Something would have to really severely trigger it for me to want to knock someone down. Its Hard to share my feelings, opinions, and wants because of the way my family dealt me in my twenties.

I'll be 30 this summer. Nobody wanted me to get off of ssdi because of health insurance problems and didn't support my dreams and goals in life.

My grandma was the closest to supporting me before our relationship fell apart. My uncle and i moved in with her when her husband passed away and hes been controlling her emotionally and it just got to a breaking point that i snapped and almost knocked her down. Deep down i truly miss her..

I have epilepsy, vertical, and now a liver transplant also. I like to learn new things to some degree. When i was a kid i apparently didn't like change.. now a days i pray for change.. to some degree. I want to live by myself again and travel..

i find it much easier to make friends online then in person.. i can talk to women in person first sometimes, better then men.. but at the same time i feel like a creep if i start talking to them. haven't really tried it but i usually let them start talking. I'm not much of a talker when i'm on a date..if we meet online first then in person then i wont know what to say while on the date.

I can read and write really well, better then when i was a kid, and spell very great but not perfect.. and i like going places and being in large crowds like firework shows and parades.. i'm very independant, just not financially yet.. i moved to a beach town recently and haven't made to many friends yet.. i also have really good eye contact when talking to someone. i like going to the beach everyday when the weather finally gets better but i just people and wave watch and don't talk to people much..

i'm also sensitive to certain noises like crying babies and screaming toddlers. Also i obesse over the lottery and making money and im really focused on it daily for the most part.. i couldn't start talking till i was about 5-6 years old. My whole family has a lot of problems to.. i think because of there problems, they took it out on me and "scolded" me and make me feel really guilty to the point i start crying about my eating habits and other things. Also i felt like they took advantage of me in my twenties.

As a child i had a fairly good childhood besides my health and disability compared to what my family said about theres. Any questions feel free to ask.

 

[Thinx]

Yes sounds you have some autistic traits, you could try taking some online tests which might help you understand better whether this may be autism. You have had some tough times by the sound of it, but it sounds like you have more independence now and are reassessing your life.

I hope you have some support from friends and/ or a therapist or others? Do you work, or what are your plans now? Perhaps you could join a course or training that interests you?

 

[Raymond herman]

I hope you have some support from friends and/ or a therapist or others? Do you work, or what are your plans now? Perhaps you could join a course or training that interests you?

Thank you. I work from home but i just started so its still building..